Thursday, July 29, 2004
Party Like It's 2004
Although it cost me nothing, I still kinda feel ripped off that Prince sang only 1/2 of Little Red Corvette (the only song of his I particularly like. Batman soundtrack would have been nice but, wrong tour for that). Though, him playing Zep (Whole Lotta Love) kinda made up for it, I guess.
Monday, July 26, 2004
what a weekend!! :O
2 weddings, casa loma and a bbq!! phew!! lotsa fun fun fun!! :D
loretta and toby's wedding was one of my favourite weddings yet. they made it so personal, and even though there were lotsa ppl, it was still a cozy feeling. :) loretta and toby are such a cute couple!! :D their love for God as well as their individual personalities really shone through. *sigh* i can't wait to get married!! heehee. (for all inquiring minds out there that is NOT happening any time soon. LOL. my mom thinks i'm gonna be a "strong single woman". her exact words. HAHAHA.)
check out the pix on phil's page! http://www.philpang.com/phil/journal/2004/07/the_beautifules.html
strange... i can't do links on blogger anymore??? (i.e. insert my own links??)
Thursday, July 22, 2004
an interesting look into the heart of a mother.
To Be A Mom.
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter causally mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations." But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, " What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle; or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child-care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up her child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it, "I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from god... TO BE A MOTHER
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
hurray for girl friends who are fiercely loyal. and for girl friends who support us and cheer us on. i dunno where i'd be without you girls. i really miss you!!!
i can't wait for saturday.... 2 weddings, lotsa catching up with amy and vicky, and DTR day! heehee. ;) who knew there was even a term for that. lol.
Poor Tom
For a small donation , I will let you have the privilege of painting Jasmine's new condo. Those interested, sign up below.
Monday, July 19, 2004
when i first started my job, i think the last thing on my mind was witnessing to my coworkers. somewhere along the 7 months as a bum, i lost that mentality. i think it had a lot to do with busyness and being very dry spiritually.
when carny asked me about my new job and how things were going, i told her about the things i was doing and how i felt about them. and then she said that she would pray for me and my witnessing to my colleagues. and i thought to myself - that's a very out-of-the-blue comment... when i hadn't even mentioned that to her at all. but carny is awesome, and she has an amazing heart for unbelievers that that's always on her mind.
for the first couple months at work, i concentrated on getting familiar with things and getting to know ppl and my responsibilities on the job, trying to gain confidence in my responsibilities. i wondered about the balance btwn socializing and talking to my coworkers vs. working hard at my job and focusing. i already found it difficult to do everything i needed to do in a 7 h work day, let alone spend time chitchatting with the public health nurses who seemed to have all the time in the world to do their work and go on coffee breaks (while us nutritionists slaved away :P).
it's funny, though, how God uses the most unexpected ppl to witness to me. when i wasn't even thinking of witnessing to others. sarah, my nutritionist mentor at work, is a catholic. but not a very devout catholic. she's not into organized religion, but spiritual things are very important to her. she wakes up every day at 5:30 am to meditate and then do some nutrition reading (there's always so much to stay up-to-date on in nutrition). she's also a busy mom and career woman. i wasn't very sure where sarah stood in her views on christianity, but today we had a training dt and sarah got a flat tire. she called me at 7:10 am and my mom woke me up to answer the phone. she was to bring all the supplies for our training of these 25 girls, but with a flat, there was no way she could make it dt. so instead, i had to go all the way to yonge and 16th to pick her and the supplies up and then head all the way back dt in time for 9:30 set up. it seemed pretty impossible since i'm at lawrence and morningside and she woke me up, so i was nowhere near ready to go!! but in the end, traffic on the dvp was amazing and nate gave me a good traffic route to get to yonge & 16th so we got to the community centre at exactly 9:30!! and you know what? sarah kept thanking the lord for getting us there on time. wow!! i never even would've thought to thank God for that. but sarah did. praise God for the reminders he gives me to glorify him... :) and for good traffic!!
last wk, i got up at 6:30 am every day to do devos. i hadn't been doing devos regularly for a very long time before that cuz i never seemed to have the time - always out at nights and too tired when i got home to pray much or read my bible. but i thought of how someone :) woke up super early every day to write me an email cuz it made me happy that whole day. and i thought - if he makes a sacrifice to do that just cuz i delighted in those emails, how much more should i be waking up early to spend time with God cuz God delights in spending time with me!! and so inspired by sarah and her early morning rising and my email-writing buddy, i've been making time to delight in God (and i'm sure vice versa!) every day. :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
woohoo - blogging 3 days in a row!
i've been having an extremely relaxing wk. :) no reason to go out any night of the wk so far. woohoo! my evenings were going very well - productive and relaxing ... until tonight. i guess all that waking up at 6:30 am made me sleep deprived. cuz i took a nap at 6:30 pm and only just got up now. :O what a waste!!! i had such big plans for tonight too - read 2 THICK papers and brainstorm for this resource i'm working on but haven't had time to do at work, bake a cranberry orange bread for a potluck meeting at my manager's house tmr morn, miscellaneous cleaning up, and maybe even watch monsters inc. ack!! tmr night i think i might go do something... play with mike? practice softball with nate? but i sorta feel like being productive and relaxing again... no more sleeping!!! :P
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
hey kids, you're in for a treat - i'm in a blogging mood!! :D
random thoughts
1. i wish my computer was near a window. then i could type away while the sunlight streamed in and not feel like i'm in a hole here in the basement, oblivious to everything that's going on outside. at work, my fave computer (i don't get my own computer til aug 6, so i go to computer rooms to do my work right now) is right beside the big window with a usually sunny view of the parking lot, the ymca, a daycare, colourful stc and the street. :) it's refreshing!
2. i've been doing my best to fight inertia all day. whenever i can feel a mental block about doing something coming on, i go right ahead and do it!! from past experience, i know the job is never as horrible as i make it out to be. but i always manage to build it up in my head to be so absolutely horrid that i can't bring myself to even start it.
3. i've been working on this drink display. i spent an hour today walking around no frills and loblaws looking for drinks - gatorade, fruit punch, nestea, sunny d, fruitopia, pepsi, orange juice and v8 so i can put together a display for monday's parks & rec training with these girls. i'm using sugar cubes to show them just how much sugar is in each of these drinks. they really have no idea! i'll let ya know the results when i have it all ready. i gotta give coca cola and pepsi a call during business hours tmr. they've got no nutrition info on their drinks!
4. i was looking up my notes from 'the five love languages' by gary chapman tonight for linda and i found an interesting comparison of being "in love" vs. REAL love. here it is.
"in love" is not real love because it:
- gives the illusion of an intimate relationship
- is effortless
- is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person
REAL love is:
- emotional but not obsessive
- unites reason and emotion
- an act of will, requiring discipline, recognizes the need for personal growth
- being loved by someone who chooses to love, who sees in me someone worth loving
- a choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his/her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction
true love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run its course.
interesting, eh? the "in love" feeling typically lasts 2 yrs.
5. sarah told me about these yummy pie recipes in the lcbo summer magazine so i picked up a copy tonight. it's nice and THICK!! with lotsa pretty food and drink pictures. :D pie baking, here i come!! well... if i can manage to sneak into the kitchen...
6. my neighbours have been cleaning out their garage all evening. and by the looks and sounds of it, it's pretty darn messy and full! they've been at it all night. they keep making noises that sound like someone's banging on my window/door. which is pretty freaky cuz i've been home alone all evening and i keep thinking someone's trying to break in!! :P
7. i used to share my random thoughts (like the ones i just blogged about) with one or two ppl all the time... i haven't done that in awhile. maybe i should start. otherwise they all stay in my brain and get lost.
ok, i think that's it for tonight. time for bed!
Monday, July 12, 2004
i've been wanting to blog lately. quite a lot, actually. but i just don't have anything substantial to say... i want to share some thoughts but they're not much at all. they're like half thoughts. unfinished ones. they have no point. they don't even make sense. :P i think i've fallen out of the blogging habit.
anyhoo, one particular aspect of my life has been good lately. :) :) :)
i really miss doing devos every day and having God as a central part of my life. so this morn i woke up at 6:30 (my goal was 6 am) to do devos and it felt so good to chill with God again. :) i'm gonna try and keep this up!
ohohoh. i thought of something i wanted to blog about last wk.
does anyone know what guarding your heart really means? it's commonly talked about - by elizabeth elliot, in 'every woman's battle', in 'fit to be tied', in all the dating books. but what DOES it really mean? cuz i know i haven't been doing it in the past. but i think it's important.
so i asked jen last wk when we met up to chat and her definition centred around putting God first and smashing idols in her rel so that God would always be her source of joy. and i agree that that's a major part of guarding one's heart - fixing your eyes on jesus and having him be first in your life rather than your boyfriend. but i still don't think that's completely it cuz in 'fit to be tied', bill and lynne hybels talks about a girl guarding her heart with all her might and a guy, through a dating relationship, trying to wear her down and win her heart. and finally he succeeds and she gives him her heart. and they get married. so... if a girl is to give up her heart, then that can't mean that it's simply putting God first. cuz even in marriage, God is to be the centre of our lives and our rel. so hmm... thoughts anyone?
Monday, July 05, 2004
Van Halen. Platinum Lounge. Oh For-Unlawful-Carnal-Knowledge Yeah!
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Spider-Man 2
****
Go watch this movie.
