Sunday, February 29, 2004
lalala!!!! man, i'm so hyper!! :D
must've been all those green tea bubbles.... which i tried for the first time tonight!!! strange. anyhooo...
i went to metro ten ren's tonight with pete cuz he was in town for the wkd. and guess who i saw there???? EVERYONE!!! well, almost everyone. :P
first there was jo and her hotpot crew - gabe, nei-kuan, christine, mac and abel!! where was gorman and grace?? it was good to see 'em. i haven't seen christine since her wedding! but didn't get to chat for too long. this is the second time i've seen nei-kuan and it was again only for 5 min! next time we'll have to make it 10 min, jo. :P
and then of course the regulars - steve and larry. :) steve is such a coffee GURU!! he was educating me on the finer details of espresso making... waah... i didn't know there was so much to it. and this is only the beginning!! he promised to teach me more if i go visit him. :D
and there were the food court ppl - like phil!! but he was with a buncha guys and i only saw him from a distance, so i didn't say hi. but hi phil! :) there was also this other guy from jaffray (chinese side), but i forgot his name. so i didn't say hi. i think it's either jason/steven/matthew. he looks like a matthew, but i think if i remember correctly, he's not. cuz i always think he is whenever i see him and it messes me up!!
pete and i stayed outside in the foodcourt cuz it was so packed inside ten ren's, but when we came back to get takeout for his brother, guess who ran up behind me and surprised me??? mike!!!!! i heard someone call my name as i was walking out, but i completely missed him! yay!! so excited to see him. i've missed ya lots. :) he's planning for his euro trip!!! :) tell me more when i see you in 2 wks!!!! :)
and then as we were heading to our cars, i saw the back of matt's back!! wait, that sounds funny. i guess you can never see the front of anyone's back, eh? doh. lol.
so moral of the story? go to metro ten ren's on a sat night if you wanna socialize!! heehee.
okie dokes. time for bed!! nite y'all. sweet dreams. :)
Thursday, February 26, 2004
i can't sleep, so i might as well blog.
rhythm & spirit
karen, alfred, matt and i went to the tso today. it was lotsa fun!! it was a pops concert featuring baritone jubilant sykes and the tso playing a bunch of diff pieces - jazz, spirituals, some gershwin. i recognized lots of tunes from my childhood - singing spirituals in music class in elementary school, jazz tunes from jazz band in highschool. jubilant was excellent! he sang a bunch of diff styles very well. i loved his facial expressions and how he got into the mood of the music. two of the featured solo instrumentalists - the trombone and saxophone were given the limelight and got so into their solos. there's something about watching musicians doing what they love. :)
i think i like going to the tso so much cuz it reminds me of my childhood. music used to be such a big part of my life when i was younger. from piano lessons, music class, the kodaly choir, singing in choirs since i was in gr 3 up til first yr univ, to symphony orchestra, jazz band, concert choir and now voice lessons. there were the kids who were in music, and then there were the ones in sports. i was always the one in music. i think i'm so captivated by the tso cuz i didn't have that many chances to go to the symphony when i was a kid and so i was subjected to the standard of highschool choirs and bands and orchestras... always a little off. so when i hear an orchestra/choir that is so together i'm amazed! :P
today, while sitting and listening to the tso play, i thought of how a symphony orchestra is much like the body of christ. (i think my thought pattern had a lot to do with having read karen's network bk while on the way down on the subway :P) unity in the body - making beautiful music together, but each person playing his/her own part, doing what he/she does best. and it all comes together as a whole to be something beautiful. we each see and know our own individual part, and the section (ministry) that we are in. once in awhile we'll get a glimpse of what the big picture is like - the whole entire orchestra playing together with God conducting our actions according to his plan, his grander vision.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Box Office Jesus
What's up w/ all the "controversy" over The Passion of the Christ? As far as I'm concerned, there is no controversy, only a few bored Jews making a stink about nothing, just to get their 15 mins. If you think this movie is anti-semitic b/c it depicts Jews in a bad way for killing Jesus then you’re a flaming moron. Let’s see, the movie takes place in Jerusalem around the year 33--who else was around if not the Jews? The Swedes? The Native Americans? How is it anti-Semitic when Jesus himself whom we worship is a Jew as well as all his disciples??? The only thing remotely controversial about this movie is that the guy playing Jesus isn’t Jewish. But then again, not that much was said about Pierce Brosnan being 007. To all the Jews crying about this movie being anti-Semitic, this here is the world’s smallest violin.
If anything, the Jews should be complementing Mel. That guy knows his money. I’ll bet he saw what was happening last year in the church w/ A Purpose Driven Life and said to himself “I want a piece of that pie”. Easy exploitation of Christians? Don’t mind if I do. Hey Purpose Driven Life guy, pass the b**** around will ya? Would you believe that in my own church we have posters of this movie up? And there’s even a debriefing of the movie for not one but the next three Saturdays. WTF. If you’ve seen the movie and thought it was good and went around recommending it to people, that’s cool, but if you’re telling kids to go see an 18A movie that you have yet to see, that’s not cool. I like how this is the most violent movie Ebert has ever seen. Oh but this will be a good opportunity to evangelize to your non-Christian friends. C’mon everybody, let’s all go watch them kick the s*** out of Jesus for 2 hours and then after that I will convert you. Any real Christian would not need to hype this movie as a good opportunity to evangelize. Good news is its own open door.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
an honest update
so many things have been going through my mind lately. things that i want to share with you. but i never get around to blogging about them cuz life is just too busy. and when i sit down in front of the computer, i forget what i wanted to say.
things have been busy. super busy. just as life often is. but when i start working, there are 2 things that i know i cannot give up otherwise i'll lose my sanity: time with God in prayer and bible study, and 8 h of sleep each night.
things in haiti have been getting worse and worse. rebels have taken over cap-haitien and many ppl have been killed. i wonder what EI is doing with their ex-pats, whether they'll be sending them back to canada or not. it doesn't seem like i'll be going to haiti any time soon... and if everything works out on my end, God's timing is once again perfect. i'll update you when i have more definite news. :)
it's past 11, so i should get going. going to yee hong again tmr. but i'll be sure to share more in the next few days. i've been challenged by alan's post to be a light and blessing to others even on my blog. :)
and guess what?
i have a mentor now!
Saturday, February 21, 2004
dream digest
we were walking up a path to a construction site. all around was wood and cement blocks - seemed like everyone in the neighbourhood was building. i entered a house being built. the walls weren't yet set up. the floor was covered with house building materials. the house was rather small - made of wood, one room. a tall brown-haired girl wearing a hard hat was hammering away. i think i knew her sort of. i climbed up onto these pipes that were lying around to look out the window at the construction outside.
all of a sudden, someone spotted a snake - a big long black & yellow diamond-patterned snake writhing around on the ground just beside the pile of pipes i had climbed up onto. the brown-haired girl took a spade and began hitting the snake. she decapitated it so there was only the snake head and part of its body left. that part was still writhing around, hissing with a red tongue sticking out. the girl hit it one more time and ppl were yelling at her to be careful cuz it might jump up and fly around. and it did. jump up and flew right towards me. except it never hit me. thank God.
i woke up.
relieved. when i closed my eyes again, i could see the snake's decapitated head and its eyes glowing bright yellow. i opened and closed my eyes, shook my head trying to get the picture out of my mind but it wouldn't go away. until i fell back asleep once again.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
dream digest
it all started with a dark, woody cubicle-like space that i at first thought looked a lot like a bathroom stall. with wooden toilet seats and everything. but it turned into a practice room for instrumentalists and i was playing my violin. a bunch of other ppl joined me in the big room and we all opened the door to our individual practise rooms and were fooling around with things and jamming.
afterwards, i went over to the caf to get some food. it looked old and was decorated with dark wood and black posts and had booths. i saw my boyfriend sitting with some ppl eating, so i went to go find the beginning of the caf line to get some food. but for the life of me, i couldn't find the beginning of the line!!! i was so frustrated. i circled around the entire cafeteria and even went into the back in the kitchen, but i could not figure out where the line started. the food-buying part of the caf was pretty empty, so i dunno why i had to start at the beginning, but i was pretty fixated on it and got so completely frustrated. and then this huge hoard of ppl appeared and there was this big long line and i was like - aaah!!! now i'll have to wait forever before i can get any food. so finally, after waiting for awhile, i got my food and saw anita with a couple others and i went to go eat with her.
then i was outside with some presby ppl, but the only person i specifically recognized was winston. maybe peter and karen were there too. we were all gonna go for a walk. it was sort of dreary, overcast kinda day. there was concrete everywhere and we walked over a bridge that looked like one in waterloo. i was walking with my bf and he was acting a bit strangely. we had just started going out, so at times he'd hold my hand and then drop it other times cuz he didn't want everyone to think we were going out yet. O_o but otherwise he was being totally sweet. the grp of us walked through a market (lots of wood type decor again) and sampled some cheese, saw lots of fruit stands, the butcher and other market-type stuff.
all of a sudden i realized that i had missed my flight to tokyo that afternoon at 3 pm!! my parents came and picked me up and we all went to the airport where we had to buy another ticket for me for the next day. we walked into the ticket selling area and it was set up in this big huge dimly-lit stone room with high ceilings and ticket agents around the edges of the room. we had to walk around for a bit and into another similar room before we could find an english-speaking agent. and he wasn't even canadian - this guy was british. so i bought my ticket and was to leave the next day at 3 pm again.
i had applied to a med school in tokyo and had gotten an interview. that's why i was going. i had never been to tokyo before and i didn't know anyone at all there, so i was quite scared. what would i do by myself for a wk?? for some reason, i had a sense that i wasn't only going to tokyo for the interview but for 2 years. i somehow knew that i'd get in for sure and would be there for awhile. i remember thinking what would become of haiti? and then realizing that med school wasn't just for 2 yrs, but for 4. and then what? haiti then? that's a long time to have accounted for. and then i remembered that my bf had said he'd come to tokyo to live with me after i had settled down for some time first and i was happy.
my little cousin was gonna come with me to tokyo too when i was to go to stay there. she was only about 4 or 5 and super cute. her dad had just passed away and i dunno what happened to her mom. all i knew was that she was coming with me. and she was very comforting, telling me that i didn't have to be scared cuz she would be with me. and that her big stuffed green turtle would come with us too.
and then i woke up.
how bizarre. O_O
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
blah
i think the honeymoon period at my current "job" has lasted all of 4 days. lol. compare that to wvc where it lasted almost 2 months. (i can't remember when i started complaining to wongs about it... :P)
my frustrations have a lot to do with not knowing what i'm doing. clinical is so diff from community and i've got minimal training in it. most of the time i go around doing my thing and hoping that no one asks me any questions so i won't have to say i don't know and look really dumb. half the time i dunno what to write in charts either if it's not a standard low/moderate nutrition risk case. [sigh] the 2.5 h (in total) commute and never being able to fall asleep on sunday nights before 3 am doesn't help either. why is my brain so wired on sunday nights??
i came home and napped for 3.5 h... and have a ton of things i wanted to accomplish tonight that will have to be pushed to tmr night. [sigh] this calling ppl thing really sux cuz everyone is working and no one is home during the day... so i can't call ppl during the day even when i'm free then. so all my calls have to be made at night, except i'm not home often at nights... >.< argh!! and it's not recreational calling... it's business calling. all these things hanging over my head. [sigh]
i don't wanna know what it'll be like when i have a real job on top of all these current commitments i have. aaaahhhh!!!!
ok, i'm done complaining.
less than a month of sleeps before wongs comes home!!! :)
Saturday, February 14, 2004
does chocolate make you feel like you're in love?
just heard that on "oliver's twist" right now. hmm...
jon's having an interesting discussion on his blog. i like jen's response. i think i've become jaded and less romantic. :)
so what are your plans for valentine's day, all you couples out there?
i'm going out with my one single best girl friend who isn't too busy to hang out with me on vday. we're gonna talk about the loveliness of being single. :D
Friday, February 13, 2004
did you know?
47% of canadians are overweight or obese.
only 43% of canadians are physically active.
yikes.
if anyone's looking for a bible reading plan to follow, here's one from the navigators. i've been following it since mid-jan and it's been great!! it's a real variety since there are passages from 4 diff sections of the bible to read each day. it feels good to get into the word again. very refreshing. :)
Thursday, February 12, 2004
i wash the dishes after eating. as soon as i'm done, my mom jumps up from the kitchen table to inspect the dishes that i've just washed. and then she comes over and shows me all the spots i've missed. and you wonder why i don't wash the dishes more often around here.
adventures at yee hong
i've been volunteering at yee hong mississauga for the last couple wks and will continue going once a wk indefinitely (til i get a job, i guess). it's been a really good experience.
nancy, the senior dietetic consultant there, used to be my field advisor at srchc and when i called her up for a reference, she recruited me to help her out. she's been super busy, so i've been going through patient charts and assessing new residents' nutritional status for her. my background is in community nutrition, so i have extremely minimal experience with clinical nutrition and esp not in a hospital/long term care setting. i've been learning lots and am starting to get much more comfortable with it.
my favorite part of the job is talking to residents to find out what they think of the food, the portions, their eating habits and whether they have any difficulties. yee hong mississauga's residents are much more alert and healthier than the residents in a lot of the nursing homes that i've been to in the past. some of them have really gone out of their way to make their rooms like home. couples get to live together in one room and some of them have moved their beds to one side of the room and the other side is a living room area with pictures on the walls and little knicknacks here and there. very cozy. i'm surprised that i've been able to have such good conversations with some of the residents - considering my lack of fluency in cantonese. but i guess talking about food and eating isn't that difficult. my most challenging talk was with a mandarin speaking popo who didn't understand cantonese at all and only a tiny bit of english. the nurse told me to speak to her in mandarin, but of course i had to answer saying "wo boo jang gwo yoo" (i don't speak mandarin) in pretty good pronunciation, so she didn't really believe me!! so anyhow, it was quite interesting - and i think i managed ok in the end. understood about 50% of what the popo was trying to say.
one very cool thing was that i found out tammy's grandma lives at yee hong miss and i had actually talked to her the day that i talked to tammy! she wasn't very happy there, but didn't want to complain or cause any trouble, so it was sort of a tough spot to be in. anyhow, we both sort of worked on her and tried to convince her that she wouldn't be causing any trouble if she voiced her needs and that the staff was very ready to accommodate her if she'd only let them know. she's a really cute popo. :) i'm glad i was able to be there and take some time to talk to her and make her feel more loved. adjusting to living in a nursing home and losing your independence in cooking and going out must be so incredibly tough. i mean, you'll never leave this place... most ppl don't... alive.
how depressing. i never thought i'd ever want to work in a long term care facility. and i still don't, really. but yee hong is a pretty great place as far as nursing homes go. the facility is so new and beautiful. tons of sunlight and very spacious. the fact that most of the residents are in reasonably good health makes a difference too. when dr wong asked me if i knew of any chinese speaking dietitians who might want to work at one of the yee hong sites, i thought of a couple friends. but i never thought i'd set foot in one myself as an RD.
my second favorite thing i get to do there is sign my name with RD. :) :) :) first time i've gotten to do that ever!!!
Monday, February 09, 2004
so i decided to do an evaluation of my life again. all the things that i should be doing. that i haven't yet done. and of course, as i should've foreseen, i became overwhelmed. but not too badly this time. i have this habit of becoming overwhelmed with things and then completely paralyzed and unable to do anything at all about anything.
rather disturbing.
anyhow, after all that overwhelming-ness and not knowing just where to start or how to tackle it (i need a life coach. any takers?), i went downstairs to watch "you've got mail". and things felt better after that.
sometimes when you're so busy, you've just gotta veg. and live in someone else's world for a change. :) romantic comedies have a way of making the world happy again.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
*NEW*
i've been trying to convince wongs for the longest time to add commenting to his page, but he's been holding out (for some unknown reason...). so brian suggested that i add a link to allow ppl to comment on wongs' page on my own site.
so there it is on the left - right underneath the link to wongs' blog. comment away!! :)
a late night excited post
i've got more thoughts on leadership to post about, but i'll do that l8r - gotta get up early for church tmr. hoping to make 9 am prayer meeting...
i had 2 good mail days. :) on thurs, i got an indigo gift card in the mail and then on fri, erin's postcard from vancouver appeared! yay!! haven't talked to her in literally years, so it was good to have a bit of "hello". :)
missions fwp went well tonight, i think. it's encouraging to me to see young ppl being challenged, thinking about God, seeking God - this is the future generation! (of cpc, i hope). my vision is for a strong presence of senders at cpc to support the many missionaries that God is preparing (and i see lots already in the making :). we need the prayer power (and logistics support, communications, financial, moral support) to back them up!!!
and also talking to ppl about gcn has been exciting.
all these ministries. God is moving!! and i'm blessed to be a part of them. :)
Friday, February 06, 2004
releasing steam
i am growing in my dislike for online chatting.
grrrr.... so frustrated.
when i was in school, it used to be my favorite thing in the world. (ok, that's a slight exaggeration)
it was my outlet to the world late at night when i wanted company and i often saw it as a way i could reach out to others and get to know them, care for them.
but these days, i get frustrated more often than not.
being in front of the computer makes me spend less time upstairs around ppl (family) and focused time thinking and digesting and growing, organizing, being productive. i also sense the limitations of online chatting more than ever before - the lack of facial expression (even with emoticons), tone of voice, body language. i feel this barrier. like i want to reach out and befriend someone, connect, communicate - but i can't. i'm stopped... by the computer monitor.
and you know what bothers me? ppl who give one word answers. (yes, that's always been my pet peeve of the century) other times, i dunno if ppl really would rather not talk to me or what. really, if you don't wanna talk to me feel free to walk away - i won't mind. and i think it's easier to interpret/misinterpret someone's comments as rudeness online than in person. i find some ppl are very diff when chatting online vs in person. you'd never be able to guess one from the other - very diff personality traits come out. it's disturbing and frustrating at times.
i'd much rather talk on the phone (i'm re-discovering the richness of phone conversations :) or in person these days. i guess i'm growing out of the whole online thing...
email is another frustration... but i'll save that for another day. :)
Thursday, February 05, 2004
man, i'm breaking out. i feel like i'm 13 again. must be a stressful wk.
and why am i blogging with a vengeance again??? i must be craving human contact... shannon???
sometimes i think my sis still lives at home. i go upstairs and wonder if she's in bed yet. and then it hits me that she's away at school. or sometimes i'll come up from the basement and be about to ask my mom where my sis is and then i'll realize that she's in hamilton. doh. i guess i've gotten so used to having her around all these yrs.
and you know what else is strange? i'm so used to my closest friends calling me "lyds" all the time that it sounds so completely foreign to me when they say "lydia". i'm a weirdo. stop calling me lydia!!!
leadership and stuff
i went to mitchell's today to meet up with joe and pick out a thank you gift for pastor peter who's doing our tough questions night on fri for fwp. we picked out a good leadership bk. :) the trend these days. and not a bad one too!
as usual, i stayed for a full hour browsing through all the books that looked interesting to me, when i could've picked up what i was there to buy in 5 min tops. book heaven. i think one version of heaven for me would be tons of really great books that i could read by osmosis and absorb and digest and apply all at once!
and i also found a women's section with some interesting books on purity and some on singleness that i was checking out. maybe i should read some of those. women's sections always seem kinda cheesy to me.... but there was actually some good stuff there. i may be converted after going through cynthia heald's "becoming a woman of excellence."
here are 2 more bks on my wish list:
love walked among us - by paul miller
developing the leaders around you - by john maxwell
has anyone ever read any of john maxwell's bks? how have you found them? my parents gave me a gift bk by him for grad a couple yrs ago, but it wasn't anything too special... his leadership bks look really great though. and this whole apprenticing, developing leaders thing is something that i wanna learn more about. heck, i need to learn more about leadership in general. if anyone has thoughts, experience, stories to share about apprenticing/developing leaders - pls let me know!!!
i've convinced jon to read courageous leadership with me. :) i've got ideas to apply to fwp already! this is great.
but one thing han min and i were briefly discussing tonight is - is everyone made to be a leader? i mean, i personally don't have the spiritual gift of leadership. but i'm in many leadership positions.... so what does that make me? in the wrong roles? can i develop the spiritual gift of leadership over time? can EVERYONE develop that gift if they put their mind to it? well, if it's a gift, it's from God... so... how does that work??
i don't want to give you any more of my tears...
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
yum yum
oooo.... LOOK! vicky's pix from hotpot are up!!
we went to hotpot king at club 300 - it was great!! clean, good service, TONS of choices for even just soup base! and TWO desserts - fruit sie mie loe AND soft ice cream from cosmic bowling next door!!! wah, you picked the right place, rob!! the only iffy thing was... a ladybug in the choi. O_O the waiter said - oh, do you wanna eat more now?? what?? weirdo.
and then off we went to bubbles at destiny. the new one! i've never been there before - i swear it looks like some place out of a chinese movie with a gangster office and everything. hahahahaha. nice huge place!
so who all came? not only one or two generations of ex-utccfers, but THREE!! thank goodness we're the youngest ones. :P lotsa fun hanging out with ppl i haven't seen in years and years!! and hearing funny stories. ;) heehee. everyone there was hooked up O_o yikes! thank goodness for my hot date - vicky!!! :D amy, ann, and samuel - you guys gotta come next time!!!
Monday, February 02, 2004
better is ONE DAY in God's house than THOUSANDS elsewhere!!!!
God is GOOD.
i'm feeling the joy!! :D :D :D
i'm eternally grateful for faithful, godly friends who pray for me. :) you know who you are!! i would not be where i am if it were not for you guys. thank you.
here's a pretty song i'm listening to... think of me by mark schultz.
Packing my bag this morning was the hardest thing to do,
But packing my bag was so easy compared to standing outside your door
right now to say goodbye.
Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry,
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye,
Think of me...
what can I say to show you,
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground
I know that it feels like leaving
is a part of letting go
But I'm praying with hope and believing
That I'll see you once again down this road
I hope that it won't be long
Think of me...
I know God brought you as a friend,
Think of me...
I know he'll bring you back again,
Think of me...
What can I say to show you,
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground
Think of me...
I know you've never seen me cry
Think of me...
But it's so hard to say goodbye
Think of me...
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
and even in your darkest hour,
I pray that the Lord we found
Will set you on solid ground
Sunday, February 01, 2004
insomniac
it's almost 4 am on a saturday night.
and i lie awake
thoughts running through my head.
how does one live with all these societal pressures?
how does one remain happy, joyful ... with such expectations.
and these so ingrained that it comes not from those around you, but from your very self.
how?
when it's not even up to you to decide the outcome.
it takes so much to be confident, joyful, fulfilled.
when all around you seem to be looking disdainfully... wondering... when...
unspoken words
piercing questions
not meant to be hurtful...
how long, o lord, how long?
the values of the lord, are not the values of the world.
the world looks at a man's outward appearance, while the lord looks at his heart.
i will wait on you...
in your perfect timing...
i will wait.
and trust.
and hope.
let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
o taste and see that the lord is good.
