Sunday, November 30, 2003
had my first mini sighting today!
i just realized how easy it is for me not to talk to certain ppl at church. unless they make a point to come up to me to say hello. i'll be talking to someone and spot them out of the corner of my eye. but keep talking to the person i'm talking to. and then when i'm done, i'll either forget that i wanted to go talk to them and start talking to the next person i spot, or they'll have scooted out the door already.
something i learned from satc tonight.
sometimes it's better not to dwell on what might have been. accept what is now, and move on. life is too short.
Saturday, November 29, 2003
well, so much for trying to switch back my sleeping schedule. i woke up at 3:21 pm after having set my alarm for 12 pm. i think i was sleep deprived from having slept 7 h the day before and forcing myself to get up at 1:30 pm. yes, i know i'm sad. and i don't even have brian's excuse!
the start of a busy wkd tonight. :)
very good dinner at gabe's (it's always an amazing spread every time he has a dinner! got to meet some of amy's dent friends too!) and then missions sharing by alfred (though we missed 90 min of it. :P it was good to hear alfred's part 2 stories and chill afterwards! ya know, i think you should become a political activist too. :D).
onto more fun and exciting stuff tmr.
maybe i should try sleeping now...
Friday, November 28, 2003
Nocturnal Living
Now I know why they call Sundays, 'Sundays'.
if you host a party and you invite all these ppl to come....
and they say "yes, i'm free that day... but i'll let you know if i can come or not l8r".
what does that mean???
can it be anything other than a bad thing???
i really don't understand why ppl say that these days. it really just means that you're not a priority for them and well, i'll come to your party if nothing better comes up!!!
doesn't it make you not want to invite them in the future??? i'd rather have a party and invite ppl who actually WANT to come. regardless of whether or not something else is going on that night. these ppl actually DO want to see me.
for me, i book things on a first come, first serve basis. so if something "better" comes up, i say no to it cuz i've already committed to spending time with this person. shouldn't that be the way it works??
do i sound bitter? :P sorry, i'm ranting. hehe.
Thursday, November 27, 2003
i just drank 3 cups of eggnog... in a row. :D yummmm!!
i miss loria... :( i wrote her an email today and she said she just mailed me a note yesterday! yay! gmta!! :D
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
i think back to when life was simpler. less cluttered. when the house was CLEAN. and it was just me and my dad... i mopped the floor once a wk. and slept on a mattress on the floor. and i could bake cookies whenever i wanted to. [sigh] those were the days....
life is very different now.
[sigh]
i'm feeling so sentimental right now...
i just spent the last hour reading over old birthday and christmas cards and postcards. i love written words cuz they can be read over and over again. they're a reminder of how things used to be. often as the years pass and we move on, we forget ppl who used to be so important in our lives, how much we used to value these old friendships, how much we shared together. it's good to be reminded of that again.
there's quite a few ppl i wanna get back in touch with.
yay for all this free time. which isn't really free time.. where does all the time go? hm.
how true.
grace sent me this email last wk with some sayings. i found some of them to be esp true... here are a handful.
The most destructive habit........................................Worry
The greatest joy........................................................Giving
The greatest loss.......................................................Loss of self-respect
The ugliest personality trait.......................................Selfishness
The most endangered species................................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource..................................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm".................................Encouragement
The most crippling failure disease...........................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................................Love
The worst thing to be without.... ...................... ..........Hope
The deadliest weapon...............................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words.............................."I Can"
The greatest asset.....................................................Faith
The most worthless emotion.....................................Self-pity
The most powerful channel of communication........Prayer
ok, more than a handful. :P
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
hey, this sounds interesting:
One day it was the knowledge economy, the next it was the 'learning' economy. Get ready for the creative economy!
Why are Kensington Market and the Annex such chill places to hang out? Why does the sheer brilliance of the people around you make you giddy whenever you walk into the Munk Centre? Why is it that you get really excited about learning whenever you have a seminar class where people actually talk?
It all has to do with the creative economy, baby! Prof. David Wolfe from the Munk Centre, one of North America's leading authorities on innovation and knowlege systems, and Kenneth Knox, CEO of the new Mars Discovery District being built at the corner of College and University Avenue, will speak on the knowledge economy and tell you if you're a member of the 'creative class'.
*****************************************
The Association of Political science Students invites you to:
--Everything is Political Workshop Series--
Creative Class: Are you one of us?
The REAL Players in the Knowledge Economy
with
DAVID WOLFE
Professor and Co-Director, Program on Globalization and Regional Innovation Systems
KENNETH KNOX
CEO, MaRS (Medical and Related Science) Discovery District
Thursday, NOVEMBER 27
4:10PM
Alumni Hall, First Floor, Victoria College (VC)
91 Charles St. W.
University of Toronto, St. George Campus
Reception to Follow
www.everythingispolitical.ca
just the "creative economy" part. :) yay trin!! though i'm not giving you anymore of my money.... lol.
random thoughts from tuesday
i gotta learn how to use eyeliner!!
putting a package together to send off is almost as fun as getting it in the mail!
mike & wongs' dad is da man - he's advising the mayor... along with sarah polley!!!! hahahahaha.
He's Making A List
Things I've learned at my new job...
1. The company I work for are greedy bastiches
2. How to make preschool toys say swear words
3. Working at a toy store is nothing like the movie Big
Monday, November 24, 2003
another travelling dream
i almost forgot this one by the time i came down to the computer this morn. and then a black's commercial on the radio reminded me of it this aft.
i was in a big coach bus. with lotsa friends on the bus, friends from all diff periods and areas of my life. i don't remember specific friends, but i do remember that meghan from GUT was in the back. the coach seats were purplely acqua-ish. i think sorta like the urbana bus ones. we were in some developing country touring around looking at blown up buildings and also old historic buildings and some nice scenery too. i don't remember much of it, only that it wasn't very colour contrasting - mostly greys and light blues and greens and yellows. nice bright sun, though. (maybe bosnia?)
i had this digicam that i was taking pics with. and i was having some dilemna with the memory card. it needed to be rewound. and that was somehow connected to the battery. i was taking pics and the card wasn't quite full yet, but the battery was running low and i didn't want to lose those pics. so i rewound it before it was all done. i remember being quite confused about the whole situation. gus was sitting in the seat right in front of me, but i didn't want him to think i was an idiot, so i thought i'd better not ask him. instead, i asked a friend who was sitting beside me (can't remember who) and she told me that i could've kept taking pics with it and didn't have to rewind it quite yet. but then i was like - oh well, i wasted a card. and then i remember this really great scene with the sun going down and the sky was all pink and there were trees in the background. (just like the background i have on the msn window for angee. hahahahaha.)
adjustments
so THIS is what is happening at my house!!!
although i must say that the binge & purge style of studying (and writing essays) usually worked for me. :P
Sunday, November 23, 2003
i've been revamping my resume and it's lotsa fun!! looking at samples and trying out a new format. in comparision, my old one looks so boring! this is good. :)
weird dreams continued...
i took a 5 h nap this aft and here are the two i remember.
somehow i found myself in india. there were 2 parts to this dream. in the first part, i was sitting around the dinner table in a house made of corrugated iron. it was a one room house, quite large as far as one room houses go. the dinner table was picnic table-like and also quite large since the family sitting around it were about 10 in number. the women were dressed in colourful saris. i remember one story/situation that was being told to me that i found particularly disturbing while in the dream. the girl sitting across from me who must've been in her 20s had been engaged to the head of this household - a 70 yr old man. however, he had died in the last while and she had now been passed onto his son who was 50 yrs old. however, i think he already had a wife and kids, cuz they were all sitting around the table with us. all of a sudden, there was a change of scene. i found myself sitting at the back of a hall. it was also made out of corrugated iron, but was really large. with wooden seats and stadium seating. i was in the very back row, all by myself, looking down on the centre stage. it was quite odd. i don't remember anything else.
in the 2nd part of this dream in india, i was walking up an inclined gravel path with trees on either side, toward a clearing. herbert was with me and we were gonna go somewhere on his "motocycle". which actually looked like some kinda tractor in army green. it had two big tractor wheels that simply had flat pieces of army green metal on which we were to sit. the driver's seat was on the left, i don't remember any steering thing he was supposed to hold onto. my seat was a fold out black hard plastic piece on herbert's right that i was supposed to squat on and hold onto handle bars for dear life. i remember i was pretty afraid of slipping even though we never actually went anywhere on this "motorcycle". herbert had to go get something and said he'd be right back. so there i squatted for awhile, waiting. then angee and heidy appeared and hopped onto the back of the motorcycle, onto this army green metal piece right above the back wheel with grooves in it for traction. it was only the size of about a regular size chair, i had no idea how they both fit comfortably on it! they sat sideways and their legs dangled over the side. i don't remember seeing anything for them to hold onto either. then someone else came along, i can't remember who now, but i think it might've been sarah or one of my friends from mhsc. we all sat there waiting for herbert to come back. he finally did, but then had to go off somewhere again. so we never did end up going anywhere before the dream was over.
the memory of my 2nd dream is fading fast, so i better record as much as i can while i still remember. it was with my family. i think we had just gone out for dinner and was coming home. except the home we walked into was not the house we live in now. it was more like the house that i've always wanted. it was much bigger, lotsa white walls, a lobby with a high ceiling and a winding staircase. lotsa skylights all around letting the bright sunlight in to warm up the house. the front door opened into the lobby with the tall winding staircase on the left. (sorta like chuck & alan's house but flipped. interesting - i just realized that now. ) if you walked to the right a bit and straight ahead, you'd enter the kitchen which was a large, open concept thing with the cooking area on the left and the kitchen table area on the right. (hmm... who's kitchen does it remind me of? i think gus & herbert's house, but flipped again, and twice the size.) the kitchen was very white and black, very bright, lotsa lights. my mom had been baking that aft and had made these pretzel muffins. they were pretzels that extended into the muffin tin. i picked one up to try and it was still warm and crispy. yumm. it tasted rather bland except for the poppy seeds and salt on top. but it was nice and chewy and just the right crunchiness. i don't remember eating the bottom of the muffin part - only the top. i think my family was coming home from dinner with auntie jackie and dick dick (relatives), we all walked in and then dispersed. i was wearing my baby blue spaghetti strap tank top and black pants. we were talking about going clubbing l8r (with my family?!) but no set plans. i walked through the door of the kitchen and into the family room which was on the right of the kitchen area. the colour scheme was still black and white with some dark wood. black leather couches, white carpet. i was by myself and sat down on the big leather swivel chair and munched on my pretzel muffin, thinking about auntie jackie and dinner. further into the family room was the dining room with a big oak display cupboard against the wall. and a bar area against the other wall.
i think that's when i woke up and saw my alarm clock say 5:08. and thought - oh great, i slept thru the entire night and still haven't gotten my cover letter and resume together to mail off tmr. doh!! but then i realized it was pm and not am, and went back to sleep for another 3 h.
these dreams were so vivid, i thought i'd record to remember! it's been awhile since my friend stephanie from chinese school and i would write each letters about what we had dreamed that wk and then exchange and try to interpret our dreams to each other during class. one time i dreamed that i was napping and my sis came into my room and gave me a chocolate covered banana. LOL. the next wk, steph came to school with a banana and a chocolate bar for me. hahahaha. most of the time our dreams were so weird, we weren't sure where in our lives these details came from. but these dreams i just had, there are lotsa details that i can pick out from my life. other than the "motorcycle'. that was odd!!
Saturday, November 22, 2003
tonight i was reading hosea 2 and thinking about the nation of israel.
and then i started thinking about canada. i wonder, who prays for our country? who prays for canada? i wonder what canada would be like if WE prayed for our country. more often. much more often.
Friday, November 21, 2003
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this (crap)...
In keeping w/ the recent trend of posting Raptors pics, I give you...
Thursday, November 20, 2003
in search
started serious job hunting tonight. finding a job has always come easily to me... so for some reason i think i will find something soon and will have to ward off all these ppl asking that i make a decision fast. >.< though i dunno if that's me being naive. i think it is.
a good sign is that all my classmates have found good jobs already, i'm the only one left... unemployed by choice. :P enjoying my time at home way too much. but having a start on this is motivation itself. i really wonder though, what career path i should take. start in community and advocacy now and work my way up to overseas development and policy l8r on? i dunno. i don't really have a liking for policy and all that jazz, but that's where the real changes are made. and also not sure if i should work in toronto for a few yrs (already ruled out the possibility of working in lindsay or chatham even though there are positions available there. who wants to live there?! :P) before heading overseas. or if i should take advantage of the situation that i'm young and unattached and head over right now before i get talked out of it.
anyhoo... gonna continue. and hope God tells me what to do soon!!
has anyone seen/been to this new place? pusateri's
not much to blog about tonight except that i'm craving a second cup moment. :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
thoughts from tuesday
i miss having my lil' sister around. she has a big heart. you know what made me think of her tonight? a clay aiken song on the radio. lol.
speaking of songs on the radio, i heard dido's "life for rent" for the first time on the radio last night while driving home. i like this verse:
i've always thought that i would love to live by the sea
to travel the world alone and live more simply
i have no idea what's happened to that dream
cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
it's just a thought, only a thought
but if my life is for rent and i don't learn to buy
well i deserve nothing more than i get
cos nothing i have is truly mine
that last line of the chorus is repeated a few times at the end and as i listened to it, it occurred to me how true that is. nothing i have is truly mine. everything that i have is given to me by God. so it's not only the 10% tithe that i'm supposed to give as offering that is God's, but EVERYTHING i have. and so i should think about how God would want me to spend it, rather than how i wanna spend it. that would make a big diff in how i, and many ppl, spend their money, their resources, their time, their lives. everything we have is on loan. it's not really ours.
you know what i love? ppl i can't stop talking to! :) it was so funny - tonight i had a chance to talk to both cath and angee in person and it took quite awhile to tear ourselves apart. lol! it's so great when we both have so much to say to each other. come to think of it, there are quite a few ppl that i have neverending conversations with often. but tonight was sorta extreme. :P
you know your dad wants you to find a job when..... he starts looking up job postings FOR you and emails them to you!! lol. yeah, my dad is a little anxious about all this. i have this pile of business cards by my computer from networking and contacts i've made over the last couple yrs. i mentioned to my dad the other day that i would get in touch with the executive director of the community health centre in kitchener whom i had met a yr ago and who had asked if i or anyone i knew was interested in working as a community dietitian at her chc. and whadya know - tonight when i got home and came downstairs to check the computer, there was her biz card right on top of the rest of the pile, just waiting for me to email her! lol. my dad is too funny. i had to laugh out loud for real.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
i need a massage. maybe that would help my insomnia.
losing a regular friend is a very sad thing. i've lost 3 over a span of several months. i'm in mourning.
but i've gained two (maybe even 3) semi-regular friends during that time. and i'm very very thankful for them. sometimes ketchup friends can become regular friends again.
Monday, November 17, 2003
FREEDOM is sweet.
had a really great day worshipping and talking to ppl - cath, jon, jess, ann. lots to process.
insomnia is NOT going away. i slept 0 hours on fri night, 6 h last night. went to bed at 11:30 tonight... could NOT fall asleep. so here i am, uploading all my nairobi pix onto walmartphotocentre.ca so i can get prints. let's see how good walmart digi pix quality is. :) they're cheapest - 39 cents/print. i also for some reason started finding all these old handmade paper thingies i had from ppl or had bought (but mainly gifts) - some really pretty handmade paper stationary that i can't remember who gave to me. it makes me wanna write lotsa letters!! who wants some snail mail?? :) also found a journal (handmade paper again) that angela gave me way back when - for my 18th bday, and another handmade paper journal book/album thingy that lill gave me... plus a pretty pressed flower book. man, this handmade paper thing must've been really big a long time ago!!! i completely forgot about it. :)
i'm in a scrapbooking mood!! a new store just opened up down the street from us - it's a scrapbooking store!! offers lotsa scrapbooking supplies and even classes on diff scrapbooking techniques. very cool!!! i'm not a hard core scrapbooker. in fact i've never made one! but i like the finished product. :) i will attempt to make one with my europe pix. we'll see how far i get. :P i'm inspired to make one for the nairobi trek too! 2 yrs l8r. :P
anyhoo, now that it's past 4 am, i'm gonna try sleeping again. so much for getting up at 7/8 tmr. [sigh] gonna make that big huge to-do list tmr. CAN'T WAIT. i LOVE to-do lists. :D
jon thinks my blog is like a tv show. lol. i love it!! hahaha.
Sunday, November 16, 2003
i just watched queer eye... [sigh] angee, i thought of you!!! you deserve a guy like him. :)
Friday, November 14, 2003
i haven't run in over a wk. i feel like such a sloth. ugh.
it's not cuz i'm a hard core runner or anything that i feel so sluggish. i'm totally not. it's just that i'm used to having more physical activity in my life! sitting around studying doesn't get my heart pumping... unfortunately.
here's what we have to look forward to...
age-related changes in physiologic function that have the potential to influence nutritional status:
sensory changes
- failing vision - can result in a decreased ability to shop, prepare, and appreciate food, and may thus lead to diminished food intake
- taste & smell dysfunction - may impair salivary, gastric acid, and pancreatic secretions; can result in decreased ability to appreciate food, and may thus lead to dimished food intake
- reduced thirst sensation - can lead to decreased fluid intake resulting in dehydration
oral health status changes
- decreased secretion of saliva - results in reduced ability to chew food; lack of lubrication may cause tooth infections
- tooth decay & tooth loss - those who wear dentures chew 75-85% less efficiently than those with natural teeth, which may lead to decreased consumption of meats and fresh fruits and vegetables
changes in body composition
- progressive replacement of lean body mass by fat and connective tissue
- basal energy needs decline by ~100 kcal/decade - can result in weight gain
- loss of height - 1 cm decrease in height for each decade after ag 20
decreased bone mass leading to increasing prevalence of osteoporosis
causes include
- reduced efficiency of vitamin d synthesis by the skin
- reduced exposure to sunlight, esp among the homebound and institutionalized elderly
- decreased capacity of the kidney to convert vitamin d to its active form
- decreased intestinal absorptoin of calcium
decreased glucose tolerance - causes an increased in plasma glucose of 0.08 mmol/L
slower uptake of fat-soluable vitamins by peripheral tissues
- vitamin a intake in elderly persons results in higher circulating levels of vit a
changes in gastrointestinal tract
- diminished capacity to secrete gastric acid & digestive/pancreative enzymes - can reduce the absorption of vit b12, vit b6, calcium, iron, folate, and possibly zinc from dietary sources
- decreased gi motility & peristalsis - can cause constipation
renal changes
- kidney's ability to conserve water is reduced - can contriubte to dehydration
- decreased glomerular filtration rate - excessive amounts of protein waste products/electrolytes are handled with more difficulty
decreased lung function & respiratory capacity
- results in decreased oxygen delivery for tissue metabolism
vascular changes
- blood vessels become less elastic & total peripheral resistance increases, leading to increasing prevalence of hypertension
- total cholesterol & low-density lipoprotein (LDL) fractions rise
impaired immune function
neurological changes
- memory loss & reduced cognitive ability - in some causes may be as a result of mild deficiencies in vit b6, vit b12, folate
- loss of nerve-muscle coordination - may result in loss of ability to cut one's food & feed oneself; may result in chewing/swallowing difficulties
~ from "summary notes for dietetic practice", nutrition through the lifecycle - the elderly
IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE!!! O_o
gosh, doesn't that sound horrible?? this motivates me to sleep more, eat better and keep exercising (outside)!! that's the only way of slowing down all this from happening....
Thursday, November 13, 2003
racking your brain for a christmas gift?
the world vision canada christmas gift catalogue is out again! you can find it online or ask them to send you one in the mail. they sent me one and it's pretty. :)
i was flipping thru it the other day and i thought what a perfect gift to get for someone who has EVERYTHING. and i'm sure we all know lotsa ppl who are in that category. ppl who don't hesitate to go out and buy something for themselves the moment they decide they want it. so you can never get them something that they want cuz they've already got it!!
sometimes i admit i feel like i'm wasting my money on a gift that a person probably won't cherish very much... just for the sake of getting them something. it'd be so much more meaningful and useful to give someone a gift that benefits someone else. someone who would REALLY appreicate that gift... even if the person that you're giving it on behalf of doesn't. and so the wvc christmas catalogue comes to the rescue. :)
there are lotsa diff options you can give - a dairy goat, a roaster and two hens, a beehive, stocking a medical clinic, rabbits, school supplies, warm winter clothing, fruit trees, agricultural kits, and more... even a dairy cow!
one particular gift grabbed my attention though. this one was $30 to feed a healthy breakfast to a needy child in canada for a month. the funds donated will go specifically to an aboriginal community - davis inlet. while working at wvc during the first half of this yr, i had the chance to meet the retired couple - frank & linda ward - who have chosen to live within that community and provide a breakfast program for these kids who are lacking many things in their lives that kids in canada are usually accustomed to - healthy food, loving & responsible parents, a drug free, supportive envt. they were basically funding this project out of their retirement money. your funds will be helping them out. the cost of healthy food up there is atrocious! it hasn't been easy for them... there are so many difficulties and hardships in those reserves, my heart went out to them as i heard their stories and the stories of the children and families in that community. the govt has built them a new town with brand new houses and appliances and public buildings, and the ppl of davis inlet have moved to this new place called natuashish to start afresh. but all the underlying social problems still exist - the alcoholism, the lack of family structure, the high cost of nutritious food... and so the problems continue, even in this brand new community. the star wrote an article on it a couple wks ago.
i've been studying the community nutrition section of my notes - social marketing, community development, program planning, etc earlier this aft. i feel like i have so much theoretical knowledge inside my brain that i won't really be able to grasp until i get out there into the real world and start DOING stuff. real assessment, planning, implementation and evaluation. swot analyses and making smart objectives. and as i think more about this aboriginal community, i wish i could go up there and see what it's really like. what's been done, what has worked, what hasn't worked, what could possibly be done. it seems like such an impossible, overwhelming situation. but i'm starting to see problems not as problems, but as challenges these days. as i was studying my notes on community development, i started thinking about cpc and how all of this could be applied to cpc too. things like capacity-based assessment vs. needs-based assessment: focusing on the positives, strengths and resources of the community rather than the negative things. i'm so entrenched in this community empowerment thing. :) i love it. i wish i could see it in action!! anyhow... i dunno where i'm going with this. i hope i can find a job soon that will let me be a part of something like this.
more dreams. & studying.
last night i dreamt that i was in a church service (in the OLD kwcac building... does anyone remember THAT? that was odd. with pews and everything.) and then after service we went downstairs and hung out in the kitchen (in the NEW kwcac building... which isn't so new anymore). and all my broken friendships were restored and everything was good and happy again. [sigh] it was good times.
and then i woke up... and it's SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've been studying at my desk again (as opposed to sitting on the chenille ikea rug on my floor). drinking hot chocolate and looking out the window at the snow blowing around on my neighbour's roof reminds me of studying for dec exams... it feels just like it used to. yay. :)
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
ooo... i found tiffy!
hmm... i had a lot to say before, but now i forget.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
heidi said i have a voice that was made to soar.
:D :D :D
every time i turn on my radio these days, i hear enrique.
and then i think of jason singing and dancing around his living room while hanging his laundry to dry.
LOL.
i wonder if i will ever be able to get rid of that neural association! :P
It's one more way that young people may seem to be on another planet.
When it comes to the X and Y-generation's voting habits, political scientists agree unanimously that they are awful.
But the reasons? Well, you might as well ask why they dye their hair green, choose uncomfortable underwear or wear pants around their knees so they can't walk normally.
"We're all still grasping to understand it," said Andrew Parkin, co-director of the Centre for Research and Information on Canada, who attended an Elections Canada conference on just this topic last week.
"They look at politics like it's on Mars. It's not in their world."
There is a laundry list of theories they've assembled for why polling stations today will resemble seniors' conventions.
~ catherine porter, toronto star
lol. seniors' conventions!!
Monday, November 10, 2003
don't forget to vote today!!!
very good times today at second cup. :) funny how much conversation can revolve around 2 tv shows. :D
been having some revelations lately. things are a little more clear. being challenged and stretched. what does it really mean to leave everything behind and follow christ? how does one become one hundred-fold fruitful?
6 days and counting.......
Sunday, November 09, 2003
jai is SUCH a cutie!!!!!!!! i loove his positive attitude and his charm! :)
Saturday, November 08, 2003
i'm bored.
been having some bizarre-o dreams lately. i think it's cuz i don't sleep long enough to get rem. at least not last night and today!
last night i dreamed that while in bed my husband confessed that he had committed adultery a yr ago. O_o i was so sad, but he was so sorry. and then he showed me pix of the girl and she was a mermaid... with a black & white tail.... db O_o!!!
then this aft i took a nap and dreamed that gus came home. he called me and we were talking while i was walking down the street when his dad tried to call him, but somehow we got cut off and his dad ended up talking to me instead. so i had to pass on the msg that his dad was on his way home from the office and would pick him up. but then all of a sudden i saw gus behind me on the other side of the street!! so we were walking and passed by this souvenir store that sold souvenir pins from diff places. there were ones from all over ontario, and even ones from all over canada - like one from cavendish, pei! and i'm like - uh... why would they sell souvenir pins from cavendish in toronto?? if you've been to toronto it doesn't mean you've been to cavendish!!!
then right after that in the same nap i dreamed that i was roommates with herbert. except that he'd always be in his pink room talking on the phone with gus and never wanted me to know what he was talking about. and i dreamed that we re-did the bathroom, except it was the bathroom in my house which is pink and all we did was move around the mirrors and take out some shelves. bizarre-o!!!!!
yummm.... smelly grape miffy highlighters make studying more fun. :)
hmmm....!!!
books in the city
had dinner with the faaaabulous girls tonight. minus one quite faaabulous girl. ;) afterwards, three of us went to the lib and the other went shopping at holt. what glamorous lives we live. :D relived school days memories at kelly - complete with snoring old men and fri night productivity. i really should visit the lib more often - i almost forgot how much i loved it. :P plus anna needs company living out that dreary life of a pharm student!!
Friday, November 07, 2003
here's some of what i've been reading/studying recently. i love this stuff. :)
the VITALITY approach
The role of the media
The slim ideal is promoted vigorously through the mass media, particularly by the diet, cosmetic and fashion industries. Particularly damaging to body image, and potentially to health, is the implicit message that this ideal can be achieved by anyone willing to work hard enough for it. This is an assertion that not only promotes frustration and guilt but flies in the face of genetic realities.
Slimness in western cultures is associated not only with success and sophistication, but with character virtues. Conversely, obesity is the opposite of all these things and, particularly in the case of women, is associated with failure and a collapse of self-discipline.
These messages are picked up early in life. Research, including a 1984 study by Rodin, Silberstein and Striegl-Moore, has found that children view good looking peers as smarter and friendlier, than unattractive peers — and assume them to be happier and more successful.
This typecasting affects not only body image but other aspects of self-esteem including, specifically, perception of character. In the western culture, slim is promoted not only as beautiful, healthy and sexy but self-disciplined and good. Attractive people are perceived to be kind, interesting, outgoing and to have a variety of socially desirable character traits. The unmistakable sub-text of this message is that people who vary from the model are the opposite of all these things.
These negative perceptions continue into adulthood. The obese, and particularly females, are not only stigmatized but are psychologically, socially and economically punished. According to one researcher, “fat can be construed as a symbol of power in men but always symbolizes weakness and inferiority in women.”
Several studies have documented the role of television, movies, magazines and advertising in setting up these models for emulation. A 1987 paper by Mike Featherstone, puts forward the concept of the “commodified body” promoted for merchandising purposes by the diet, cosmetic, fashion and fitness industries. Overweight and thin need to be viewed not as opposites but as points on a continuum without value judgments at either end. The researchers recommend that the health and well-being movement work to counteract the “commodified body” message of the cosmetic, diet, fashion and fitness industries, supported by the mass media.
People who are healthy and accept themselves on their own terms are in a stronger position to withstand the message. Canadian health promoters can help them do so by promoting the VITALITY program’s approach of healthy eating, active living and a positive body image.
name stories
ok, this is really bizarre. i know two geoff li's (one from ottawa and one at my church) and i email both of them. so whenever i see the name "geoff li" in my inbox, i never really know who the email is from!! sometimes i don't even know til after i've read a couple paragraphs. lol. and to make it even more confusing, they both use hotmail and have variations of their names as the address!
i guess it's not quite as bizarre as emailing someone with the same name as you though. which could happen cuz there is another lydia yung that goes to cpc. O_o i just remembered that this sunday when they went to introduce the board of managers and they said "lydia yung" and carny and ray were like - go up, go up!! lol. i was like - it's not meeee! :P
Thursday, November 06, 2003
music takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto...
~ ralph waldo emerson
i love music. being able to play and sing to my heart's content is an amazing thing. being able to express myself through notes on a page, hammers on strings, fingers moving swiftly over ivory keys... whatever my mood feels like. to breathe in filling the space inside me, channelling air thru my body like a hollow tube, connecting the sound coming out of my mouth to that heart place inside me that deeply feels all my emotions... is truly liberating.
when i was a kid, my dad bought these music books from reader's digest and other publishers of famous tunes - classical, children's, popular movies, you name it. all arranged for piano. i'd sit for hours on end playing them over and over again, going thru each book. playing thru familiar pieces, repeating my favorite ones, and skipping over all the hard ones with a gazillion notes and chords. i learned to love some oldies, some popular jazz tunes, well-known opera motifs, and themes from ballets that way. some days i'd play as a form of procrastination, other days simply to enjoy, and still others to get rid of those dark feelings. whenever i was in a horrible mood cuz of a certain member of my family (who shall remain nameless), i'd play the funeral march over and over and over again. until all my anger and frustration had dissipated... and that is how i became so good at sightreading. :)
i've been discovering just how wonderfully delicious the chord progressions in "only hope" are. (and hanging out with heidi is starting to get to me. lol.)
music was my refuge. i could crawl into spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
~ maya angelou, in loneliness
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
happy belated birthday to gabe!! (yesterday)
blogs of note
here i am blogging with a vengeance again. :P i promise i'll go to bed after this!! (not that i'll be able to sleep. blogging and talking to ppl online wakes me up. :P)
here are some blogs of note that i have started re-reading again recently and that i seem to have a lot to say in response!
free karen :D - i love her tea adventures and other thoughts! wongs can you keep looking for milford's erdbeere-joghurt tee? :) thanx!!! that kirsche-joghurt one tastes a little too much like vitamins... now i know why you don't like cherries. :P
artist in firenze! - kitty's doing an exchange in florence this yr and having lotsa adventures!! i'm so jealous. :P but poor girl has to deal with italian boys... and i thought an attempted kiss by a german boy was bad enough!!!!
okie dokes, bedtime for me... ciao!
unshakable confidence
i've decided to take advantage of the "currently reading/playing/watching" option in xanga and post about things that i'd like to share about regarding those. so since i've been doing lotsa reading lately, i've had lots to share. :) go check it out!
i xanga'd about reading the psalms tonight, so i'd like to share a psalm that shows the unshakable confidence of the psalmist so clearly. that is what i love esp about the psalms - being able to complain, vent, cry out to God about things going on in our lives, how he seems to be so distant, but at the same time, have a strong confidence in God's goodness, mercy and love!! he WILL deliver us from evil. he is our refuge thru the storm. here it is.
Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD ,
for he has been good to me.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
another engagement story
congrats to katrina & andrew!!!!!!
wow, 3rd engagement within a wk (or two?). this is crazy!!!
big big congrats to maria & ron!!!!! they're engaged!!!! :)
lotsa engagements already starting... :) maybe i'll get a job in toronto so i can stay and go to all these weddings next yr. heehee. and even if i don't... i hope i will get to go still!!
i've been pretty good today. :) i hope to continue being GOOD for the rest of this wk and the next. 12 more days and counting!!!!
Saturday, November 01, 2003
the mystery is SOLVED.
i had a revelation last night. :)
warning: it's loooong!!
feel free to add your comments here if you don't have xanga. :)
angee and i have decided that thomas is a metro-sexual. (Y) (think msn). hahaha.
how many do YOU know?? :P
being a nerd :D
i've been collecting nutrition resources. :D there's some interesting stuff on the health canada website and also some free publications you can order from govt of canada publications too! so i've been collecting. :)
didn't do much today other than studying. learning about jurisprudence and the code of ethics for dietitians in ontario. i discovered that i didn't look deep enough into my CDO package last time - this time i found an RD pin!!! wow, they have so much faith in us to pass this exam. hahaha.
here's a song that i've been listening to again lately:
i am
pencil marks on a wall, i wasn't always this tall
you scattered some monsters from beneath my bed
you watched my team win
you watched my team lose
you watched when my bicycle went down again
and when i was weak, unable to speak
still i could call You by name
and i said, elbow healer, superhero
come if You can
You said, i am
only sixteen, life is so mean
what kind of curfew is at 10 pm?
you saw my mistakes
and watched my heart break
heard when i swore i'd never love again
and when i was weak, unable to speak
still i could call You by name
and i said, heartache healer, secret keeper
be my best friend
and You said, i am
you saw me wear white by pale candlelight
i said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it is 2 am
and when i am weak, unable to speak
still i will call You by name
shepherd, savior, pasture maker
hold onto my hand
You say, i am
the winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us
so we find a foothold that's familiar
and bless the moments that we feel You nearer
when life had begun, i was woven and spun
you let the angels dance around the throne
and who can say when, but they'll dance again
when i am free and finally headed home
i will be weak, unable to speak
still i will call You by name
creator, maker, life sustainer
comforter, healer, my redeemer
lord and king, beginning and the end
i am
yes, i am
~ nichole nordeman
body shapes (pdf)
this is sorta cute!
