Saturday, May 31, 2003
happy birthday, matt!!!!!!! :D
another fun day of quarantine!
i sent my little sister off to the prom tonight. :) she should be coming home in a couple hours! she was all dressed up in a pretty black dress, contacts in, hair done and makeup done by ME! :) i wish i had a big sis to do my makeup when i was in oac going to grad formal!!! then i would've looked a lot nicer. hahaha. but i think dorcas looked really pretty. :D so she has potential... hahaha.
anyhoo.... GUESS WHAT I JUST ATE??? lobster!!!!!!!!! and not just ANY lobster........ but FRESH lobster - caught this morning in pei, cooked, and flown over on a plane this same day. and eaten by me.... all in 24 hours!!!!! :D so yummmmmmmmm. :) my friend, mary, who's in my mhsc program, flew back to toronto from pei today for convocation next wk. and she brought fresh lobster for all of us who LOVE lobster. :) that would be me!!! it was funny - these 2 cooked lobsters in a zip-locked bag. :) my mom picked them up from her for me tonight. and i ate them. soo good. so yum, so sweet!! :) :) mary's dad is a lobster fisherman. how nice!!! too bad she doesn't like lobster. or any kinda shellfish for that matter. what a waste! :P
just one more day left of quarantine... less than 24 hours! gotta make the most of the time left!! :)
Thursday, May 29, 2003
blog #3.... and love songs
once ya get goin on this blogging business again, the thoughts just don't stop!
alan wrote in my gbk a couple wks ago that it doesn't matter what sap you're singing - as long as you're singing from the heart - that's what counts, so sing on! :) i didn't really have an opinion on that b4. but now i do.
i used to like songs mainly for the tune. but now that i've started singing them myself, memorizing the words and picking songs to sing for weddings, i have to disagree! :) i'm in the process of picking a song to sing at andrea's wedding and i've been going thru a "songs for a christian wedding" book i borrowed from yeelee. besides the fact that i didn't know 85% of the songs in the book, i found it hard to find a song that had words that really meant something. so many songs these days talk about how the person feels in lovey dovey terms, so generic and not personal. nothing substantial. i wanna hold you... i wanna hold you... lalalala... blah blah blah! :P i really didn't wanna sing that kinda sap, esp not for a good friend's wedding. i wanted to sing a song that had a msg, that meant something real!
this sorta parallels a discussion with matt and tony at lunch on sunday - how some christian music is very emotions-oriented and it just talks about how you feel when you're with God rather than anything heady. no real substance or intellectual thought to it. tony was saying how for one worship leader who's really good at leading that kinda worship, he comes out feeling really relaxed, but his brain tells him something is just not right! and that makes sense cuz our faith isn't supposed to be about just feelings, but also about intellectual thought too! our faith should make sense. God wants us to use our brains.
so i think i've settled on singing geoff moore's "if you could see what i see" for andrea & ryan's wedding. i like this song cuz i think every girl wonders this at one point or another: what do you see in me? why do you love me? how could you love me when you know all of the bad and the good? but isn't that how God sees us? he sees our ugliness and loves us still the same. he sees how we could be... our potential. and that's why he wants us to seek him and become more like christ. but back to this romantic love thing... :) i like this line in the geoff moore song: "it's all of the light and the grace; your belief in me drives me to say that i promise you a faithful love, forever true." it reminds me of 1 peter 3:4. "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
it's funny - each wedding of a close friend that i go to, gives me hope... :) and conviction to wait... for the one who is just right... to experience and share life with. no matter how distant and impossible that seems right now... God's got someone in mind... i just know it! :) ok, enough of this dreaming :P here are the words to the song i've chosen.
If You Could See What I See
All of my life I have dreamed that somehow love would find me.
Now I can't believe you're standing here.
If beauty is all in the eye of the beholder then
I wish you could see all the love for you that lives in me.
And you would know you have my heart,
If you could see what I see
That a treasure's what you are,
If you could see what I see
Created to be the only one for me,
If you could see what I see.
I know there are days when you feel
So much less than ideal
Wondering what I see in you
It's all of the light and the grace
Your belief in me drives me to say
That I promise you a faithful love, forever true.
And you would know you have my heart,
If you could see what I see
That a treasure's what you are,
If you could see what I see
Created to be the only one for me,
If you could see...
Then you'd understand why I fall down to my knees
And pray my love will be worthy of the One
Who gave His life so our love could be.
If you could see what I see,
If you could see what I see
You're created to be the perfect one for me,
If you could see what I see.
If beauty is all in the eye of the beholder,
Then I am beholding.... true beauty.
~geoff moore & steven curtis chapman
does anyone else know any other appropriate wedding songs? :)
check out this site: mark & minh. sooo cute!! :)
cafés, french, music, and the summer sun!
aaahh.... sounds like the perfect combination for a great summer, eh? i was so jealous to find out that that's what leslie is doing for the summer!! i got back in touch with her after hearing from angee that les had moved to montreal for the summer and was hoping to hook up with her when i was in town this wkd (which is no more.) she's IN montreal just to BE there!! for no reason other than that. she got a job working at a brand new café and has been practising piano at mcgill, and is gonna take some lessons with a violin teacher in montreal. she's also studying french with a language partner.
it sounds like the makings of a great summer. [sigh] :D when i first read her email i was like - wow... that sounds so.... rebel-like and exotic!! HAHAHA. it just goes to show how little i've experienced away from my parents and doing things just for the experience and fun of it. everything is always attached to a purpose of getting ahead, furthering my career and future opportunities... spurred on by my well-meaning mom and the chinese mentality. rarely do i make big decisions or go places just for the fun of it. hmm... i think i REALLY need to go to europe this summer. :P
[sigh] working in a café, playing music and learning french sounds so much more romantic than my job in the office and hour long commute to the other side of the city every day!! although i guess being able to contribute to making a change in the world that is real and lasting is romantic in itself. :)
thursday.... 2.5 more days to go...
i ventured outside today for the first time since sunday. i'm allowed to be in my backyard maskless as long as neighbours don't come out. it was bright and sunny and a nice 23 degrees (!!!) so i went outside to sit on the grass (we have no patio/lawn furniture. just goes to show how much time my family likes to spend outside!) and read my text. aaahh.... fresh air. :) gotta get us some outdoor furniture - esp if i'm gonna be outside relaxing lots this summer!! (which i hope to be... we shall see)
cooking lessons
i've been learning some interesting things about food in my professional cooking text. here are some little known facts about pepper.
did you know..?
pepper comes in 3 forms: white, black and green. they're actually from the same berry but processed differently. black pepper is picked unripe; white is unripened and the hull is removed; green peppercorns are picked unripe and are preserved before their colour darkens.
a. whole and crushed black pepper is used primarily in seasoning and flavoring stocks and sauces, and sometimes red meats.
b. ground white pepper is more important as a seasoning in the food service ktichen. its flavor is slightly different from that of black pepper, and it blends well (in small quantities) with many foods. its white colour makes it undetectable in light-colored foods.
c. green peppercorns are fairly expensive and are used in special recipes, primarily in luxury restaurants. the types packed in water, brine or vinegar are soft. we-pack peppercorns are perishable; water-packed peppercorns will keep only a few days in the refrigerator after they are opened, while the others will keep longer. green peppercorns are also available freeze-dried.
did you know...?
there are only 5 leading sauces, i.e. 5 different basic sauces from which all the other sauces are made!!
the five sauces are:
béchamel sauce
velouté (veal, chicken or fish)
brown sauce or espagnole
tomato sauce
hollandaise sauce
~from Professional Cooking by Wayne Gisslen
hey mike - are you still gonna have cooking lessons with larry? can i come watch? :)
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
blah... bored. this mask is suffocating me... it smells like mothballs - from hk. lol.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
does anyone else have probs with length of blogs? after adding the descriptions of the books on my list, blogger wouldn't let me post anymore! grrr... so i had to post new ones and split them up. i know jo used to split up posts, but erica writes super long ones and she never has to split!! :) what is your secret?? :)
day 2 of quarantining
so here i am, almost completed my day 2 of quarantining. after getting over the disappointment of not going to montreal yesterday, i started to really like this quarantining thing. who wouldn't? :P 6 days of staying at home, not having to think about the next thing i need to do, not having to SET THE ALARM!!, being able to take multiple naps (heehee), being able to go online as often/little as i want, being able to spend time with God and not worry about other things that need to be done!!!, having time to READ - what a concept!, having time to blog!! - yes, even YOU benefit from this quarantine ;).
the real challenge, though, is to be productive. today, i spent the morning and part of the aft with God, some time on the computer chatting, updated my resume, tried to write a cover letter (didn't quite get to making myself write it though :P), napped for 3 h even though i slept for a full 9 h the night b4, and wrote a super long email to shannon. :) but i don't feel like i have been productive at all cuz i haven't done any reading, studying, working out, or practising wedding song #2. [sigh] maybe i'm just a little too ambitious. :)
i also heard that i'm not the only one in quarantine!! jess tang's brother, norm, is in quarantine too and he's missing a trip to cuba with claudia cuz of it!! :( poor norm & claudia... i don't feel too bad about montreal anymore... and karen and some other jaffray ppl are in quarantine too! cuz they went to visit their grandma at north york general one day, and cuz other ppl went to visit auntie lydia at scarborough general. ah well. at least i have company. :) in spirit. hehe.
anyhow, it's 11 pm and i am WIDE AWAKE. since when has this happened?? i think i will go work out and become more beast... :P LOL. or at least try and look beast. hahahaha. nice try, lyds.
4. prayer: finding the heart's true home by richard foster
"richard foster explores the many facets of prayer, from the ordinary to the extraordinary, describing it as an inward journey of change, an upward journey to intimacy with God, and an inward one into ministry."
5. freedom of simplicity by richard foster
"foster shows us that the christian discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that liberates our lifestyle by freeing us from dishonest speech, obsessive status-seeking, compulsive extravagance, and a loss of perspective on the true nature of our involvement with the world in which we live. in this age of scarcity, in a society plagued by the unreasoning, self-destructive mania to chieve and accummulate, simplicity may be the only option left to us; but it is an option to be free and fulfilled, to with grace, balance, and joy."
6. the purpose driven life by rick warren
"this book will help you understand why you are alive and God's amazing plan for you - both here and now, and for eternity. rick warrenw ill guide you through a personal 40-day spiritual journey that will transform your answer to life's most important question: what on earth am i here for? knowing God's purpose for creating you will reduce your stress, focus your energy, simplify your decisions, give meaning to your life, and, most important, prepare you for eternity."
7. soul survivor: how my faith survived the church by phil yancey
ok, so who else is doing this book challenge???
the 10 book challenge.
ok, so i guess you will be hearing lots from me in the next few days.... blog #2 of today already. haha. i'm gonna try my bestest to make the most of this quiet time at home though - how fast these few days will fly by!! gotta be productive. :)
so yuling has convinced me to join the 10 book challenge!! i've got a few books started, but not even close to being done any of them, so hopefully this will get me going on them. i've been allowed to pick a few and then have the rest "to be determined." :P so here's the list. i'll come back and describe them in more detail l8r.
1. gustavo gutierrez: essential writings edited by james b. nickoloff
"arranged both thematically and chronologically, the selected texts highlight not only the revolutionary import of gutierrez's theology but also his deep and searching spirituality, his bold view of the church, and his personal challenge to the reader to engage the world's injustices directly."
2. fast food nation: the dark side of the all-american meal by eric schlosser
"fast food has hastened the malling of our landscape, widened the chasm betwen rich and poor, fueled an epidemic of obesity, and propoelled american cultural imperialism... eric schlosser's myth-shattering survey stretches from california's subidivisons, where the business was born, to the industrial corridor along the new jersey turnpike, where many of fast food’s flavors are concocted. Along the way, he unearths a trove of fascinating, unsettling truths – from the unholy alliance between fast food and Hollywood to the seismic changes the industry has wrought in food production, popular culture, and even real estate.
3. out of poverty... and into something more comfortable by john stackhouse
"from east timor to timbuktu, john stackhouse has met and lived with hundreds of the world's poor. when he set out ont his journey in 1991, he was certain that the new age of global markets an deconomic reforms would end decades of extreme hardship in the developing world. what he found instead was poverty still entrenched in dozens of countires - except where ppl had some control over their lives. stackhouse discovers emerging democracies, free markets and small local banks run by women. for these ppl and for most of the world's poor, there will be no riots, no massacres and no starvation either. what's happening across much of the world is a slow process in whcih the poor are beginnign to set their own agenda, chart their own future, veto ridiculous schemes and vote the warlords out of office. poveryt, stackhouse shows us, is not an inevitable part of the human condition, but a direct result fo human actions - and something that can be remedied."
Monday, May 26, 2003
how SARS has ruined my life.
first it was europe, then it was surgery. now it's montreal... and a birthday party.
i was at scarborough general on may 21st. yesterday they added that hospital to the list of quarantines... if you were there from may 12-23, you were supposed to call toronto public health. i was there twice during that time. so i called early this morn and kept getting a busy signal for a couple hours. i fell asleep calling.... :P then i called at 1:15 and got put on hold for almost an hour before i finally got thru.
so i'm in isolation til midnight of may 31st. which means.... no montreal. :'( a bunch of us from cpc (and yuling!) were going to montreal this thurs night for the willowcreek prevailing church conference. i was really looking forward to it - an inspiring conference, a road trip, fellowship with other cpc'ers, and maybe even a visit with leslie... but no - instead, i am to eat alone, have my own set of dishes and utensils, wear a mask when i'm in the same room as other family members, can't leave my own backyard, gotta have my own bathroom, my own phone, and disinfect everything i touch b4 anyone in my family touches it.
[sigh] God, you sure have a funny way of showing me things and making me do things. i've experienced so much disappointment in the last couple months... most of the time i just want to have a temper tantrum and crawl into bed. even when i see the good that could come out of it. i don't want to accept it cuz it means i have to admit that it was good that things turned out the way they did... when i never wanted it to be that way. it takes all my emotional effort and sanity to pull myself out of self pity and stay positive...
[sigh]
[sigh]
[sigh]
... let's see how this wk pans out.
SARS is EVIL.....
Saturday, May 17, 2003
oh noooo... i just realized i missed jo's bday!!! happy birthday, jo!!! (may 13th)
If You Want Me To
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
~ginny owens
hey mike!!! you should check her out. she's GREAT. :) i'm a big ginny owens fan in case you haven't noticed. ;)
the words of this song speaks to me so much. it's the most reassuring thing to know that i have a saviour who will never let me down. it makes me willing to go through whatever he places before me... with grace and hope.
choosing friends
you know the saying "choose your friends wisely"? well, from conversations with angee lately, i've come to realize that in the last few yrs, i haven't been choosing my friends - i've let them choose me. with the busyness of school and work and life, i forgot to sit back and evaluate the effect of ppl on my life and my character. instead of actively choosing to get to know someone better, i let them determine who i got to know better by simply hanging out the most with ppl who called me up the most. it was easier that way. but i don't believe it's the best way.... and often it's resulted in much hurt and anger, wondering why my friends treat me the way they do sometimes. i like to aspire towards being a generous, unconditionally loving person... but you know, it never quite ends up that way.... being loving and generous and forgiving... esp when i'm too busy running around... and not rooted in the love of God. and then again - where do you draw the line? to hold someone at arm's length and say - i love you and care for you as a friend, but i cannot take this anymore. as a libra (yes, angee has brainwashed me. heehee.), i live life fully and passionately. i feel my emotions deeply, i dwell in them, wanting to experience both pain and joy to their full extent. life is meant to be lived and felt - i'd rather love and be hurt, than never care and not be affected.
at the same time, i think i've missed many a good friendship because i haven't taken the time to sit back and realize what great ppl i have been surrounded by and that i should make an effort to get to know them better. to all those out there who have kept calling and checking up on me every so often even when i didn't make the effort to keep in touch, i thank you. i'm looking forward to the next few months that i'll have off when i can re-evaluate ... life and friends in general. there are a lot of ppl i'd like to rebuild relationships with again.... and to those ppl that i haven't had the wisdom to choose, but who have chosen me and have blessed and supported me through many a tough time, thank you.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
the beauty of words... and wedding season :)
wow, it's been quite awhile since i've written something of substance in here.
in case you were wondering, no - i haven't found love. :) i know, i know - you're all disappointed. no juicy gossip. sorry to disappoint. :P this is a song i've started working on more recently - a fun, sorta lounge-ish, classic gershwin piece. as i study voice, one of the things my teacher has been telling me is the importance of the words in telling a story. "you're singing about something of worth! sing with intention! you have a message to tell!" before singing with words to the music, i am to know the words of the song inside out. i am to make the story my own, to sing as pictures play out in my head. and that adds to the umpf of the msg!
i like the part of making the words personal to me. when i was memorizing the words to "i will be here", they came to mean so much to me.... what true love and commitment meant. and how that could hold a marriage together... even "if in the dark we lose sight of love, hold my hand and have no fear." marriage means growing old together, and experiencing life ... together. "to watch you grow in beauty, and tell you all the things you are to me." a lasting commitment to your spouse and to the Lord.... 4 of my friends are getting married this summer (well, 4 couples). and when i think about it.... how truly beautiful is this commitment that they are making to each other and to God.... :) to stick with each other through the rain and the sunshine. it's so exciting to see them each having found someone they wish to spend the rest of their lives with.... [sigh] ... so special. i'm becoming a hopeless romantic.... [grin]
Monday, May 12, 2003
Love Walked In
Nothing seemed to matter anymore,
Didn’t care what I was headed for;
Time was standing still,
Nothing counted till
There came a knock-knock-knocking at the door.
Love walked right in and drove the shadows away;
Love walked right in and brought my sunniest day.
One magic moment and my heart seemed to know
That love said “Hello,”
Though not a word was spoken.
One look and I had forgot the gloom of the past;
One look and I had found my future at last.
One look and I had found a world completely new,
When love walked in with you.
~ george gershwin
=)
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
happy birthday, nathan!!
and happy birthday, jas!!!!!!!
