Friday, August 30, 2002
wise words from shannon the kiwifruit:
"u have to learn to let everything go. but still care with all ur heart.
love without expecting. want nothing in return."
~ on the topic of not being able to care for someone intensely without getting hurt
new version of you
Can you become
Can you become
A new version of you
New wallpaper
New shoe leather
A new way home
I don't remember
New version of you
I need a new version of me
New version of you
I need a new version of me
~ jj abrams & andrew
for my favourite banana. :)
there's lots of fun stuff to blog about, but that will hafta wait for another nite.
Thursday, August 29, 2002
blah
i'm starting to believe lill and susannah's philosophy.... "guys are scum". that's a big generalization, but i feel like generalizing tonight.
on an unrelated topic, i've long since given up looking. (though i guess my boys are still out looking.) no hope. i'm preparing to be an old maid forever. though i'm pretty darn sure i don't have the gift of permanent singleness. hey lill and mel, can i join ur loe gwoo poh oke?
happy birthday, susannah. yesterday.
Monday, August 26, 2002
what a great wkd! seeing God work in different areas and being able to be a part of it all. :)
connie's wedding was lotsa fun. i sat with ann and we talked and laughed at connie the whole time they were taking pictures at the end. :) connie looked so beautiful! something embarrassing happened to me though. remember that i've never seen felix b4 - connie's fiance. i'd only heard about him. so when i walk into the church, i look around for reception and start heading in that direction. meanwhile, this guy comes up to me and mumbles something. i'm like, excuse me? he just looks at me and says "i'm felix." and i'm like OH. doh!! how dumb did i feel, going to the guy's wedding and not knowing who he was!! eek. :P ah well. he was really nice about it. hehe. felix is super tall! like at least 6'1", i think, if not taller. judging from past height measurements. :) connie's only slightly taller than me, so there was a big height diff btwn the 2 - it was kinda cute. but she had big hair, so she was at least up to his neck. haha. :P anyhow, it was great watching them get married and being so happy for connie. :) hurray!! another happy-in-love couple. :D
sat night was the last univ cell grp meeting at jaffray and the beginning of our new univ fellowship - alaythea!! (um.. is that how u spell it, art?) which means "truth"!! arthur shared his vision for this univ cell grp once more with us and it's so inspiring. i'm so glad he has this kinda vision. it'll be so good for the kids at jaffray. becoming spiritually close in addition to growing-up-close - it's a different sorta closeness. i've definitely experienced that with the church friends i grew up with - being close in one way, but not the other. and having a place where their needs as univ students can be met. maybe i can participate in this fellowship and serve. although it's ironic how things here always seem to start up just as i'm done that stage of my life. oh well. i'm excited to see how God will use this fellowship to build closer friendships and stronger men and women of God on fire for him!
sunday has been a day of realizations sorta. during service today, pastor cal talked about letting go and letting God. and how God meets our needs day by day. one thing that's been evident to me more and more is how much i need God... daily. how much i need to spend time in prayer with him every day, otherwise after a couple days i'll really start feeling it and start feeling weak and down and a lot of times, desperately yearning to be loved. i need to draw my strength from him every day, to fight the good fight! and that's a pretty cool realization for me cuz it means i've grown to become dependent on God... rather than doing things on my own. sunday school was fun - we did some flow charting of laws. we're all done studying leviticus!
nate and i came home for lunch and i tried making zucchini bread for snack at fx. but i modified the recipe a little cuz i couldn't bear putting in 1.5 cups of oil in 2 loaves of bread. ewww!! so it ended up looking kinda ugly and baking soda-ish tasting. darn!! teaches me to think everything turns out perfect the first time. heh. for some reason, i never learn and still hope it does. :) frosh connexion was good!! lotsa frosh!! it was exciting to see them all and so many ppl wanting to meet them and welcome them and love them! there were 7 frosh in our utccf small grp. karen came.. yay! and jon too! i haven't see u in soo long, jon! :) when we all were sitting down i looked around and i was like - yay!!! lotsa guy frosh!!! :) i said to fiona - "i'm so excited! there are so many guys!!" lol. fiona must've thought i was weird or something cuz she didn't really say anything to me. hahahah. but what i really meant was - lotsa guy frosh means lotsa potential male leaders in the fellowship!! cuz u know how at utccf it used to be all girls leading, or a whole lot of us anyway... and we'd always be like - where are all the guys taking initiative? we'd think of stan or simeon and that'd be it... not many of them committing to serve in ccf. but there are lots more now and i'm so excited... we really need to be more deliberate in training up leaders and passing on the vision and like frank was saying today in our conversation during mingling time, imparting spiritual wisdom from one generation to the next. after that conversation with ameals, we moved onto one with jesse. :P about what he's looking for in a girl. cuz frank didn't know what he should be lookign for in a girl. jesse just happened to be walking by, so i was like - so jess, what do u look for in a girl? :P and he said... i have no requirements! cuz he's learned that expectations can limit what God has in store for u... God has so much more in mind for us than just what we are looking for!! jesse used to have a list of what he was looking for in a girl and they "protected" him for a couple yrs, but now God's shown him another way of looking at it. i find this so interesting! i've never thought of it that way b4. (i hope u don't mind me sharing, jesse. i think it's really cool! :)
then i came home tonight and had dinner, rested a bit, and cleaned my room. and then i did devos and it was an awesome time with God. i felt so inspired by anne graham lotz. this lady i've been reading about who is completely spirit-filled and preaches with power. all this is cuz of the hours she spends in prayer and intercession for others. i read about her and i was like - yeah!! there are women like that!! that means it's possible! :) i so sense that it is within reach. u know how sometimes u see others being so much more spiritually mature and u long for that day when u are at that stage in ur relationship with God, but it just seems so far off? well, this time it seems closer. and i know God is faithful.... he gives us strength from his glorious riches! ephesians 3:14-21. that passage keeps coming back to me again and again. i long for that day to be so in tune with God all the time, to know him more. it's a long ways off, but one day!!
turn ur eyes upon jesus
look full in his wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace
~ helen lemmel
Saturday, August 24, 2002
do not love the world or anything in the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. for everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world. the world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
~ 1 john 2:15-17
a good passage to meditate on.
alfred and i met up on thurs night to chat. it's been awhile since we've last sat down and talked. he's going to kazahkstan!! (did i spell that right?) in oct to teach a univ computer course for 3 months. he's going as a tentmaker, so his main purpose isn't to teach, but to get to know his students and the ppl there and tell them about jesus. he's been going thru the same book that amy and i went thru this yr in our tentmaking mentoring grp: working ur way to the nations. it's a really good book about preparing urself for missions, tentmaking in particular, things to consider b4 going, things to be aware of during ur time there, etc. talking to alfred was cool - he's probably the only person who sees the stewardship of finances as i do (and probably even more extreme than me :). other ppl may have similar ideas, but when it comes right down to living it out, it's different. and it shows. i think it has a lot to do with the way u were brought up... and definitely, our parents have instilled in us the value of money. maybe i'll blog about my views one day. i've been meaning to. anyhow, we had a good chat about money and relationships and the future. and about living without savings... hmm!
wongs called last night while killing time, waiting for wendy to come home. haha. i hadn't talked to him all wk! he's the only friend who's moved away (for any amount of distance) that i've kept in touch with and still talk to and share with on a regular, weekly basis. that's rare!! a lot of effort on both sides, i guess. that's important to keep any friendship going no matter what the circumstance.
anyhow, i'm off to connie's wedding!! :)
Wednesday, August 21, 2002
we had cell grp at bubbles again tonight. some really cool sharing and prayer times. it feels strange to be praying in such an envt at first, but when we get into it, everything fades into the distance and it's just God and us. awesome. God's everywhere, so why shouldn't us christians be everywhere, doing the things that we do? unashamed. :)
God's been blessing me with good prayer times lately with other ppl. but i yearn for more. i've been yearning for more and more prayer with others lately. it's so powerful and life-changing. a little while ago, the holy spirit started telling me to pray with ppl again... while i was talking to ppl on the phone or in person when they were sharing struggles and worries with me. i used to get promptings like that in the past. in eg, i learned that God always gives u the desire to pray... but i guess he got tired of me saying "no", so he stopped asking me to pray. but it started again.. and i was so excited... but.. it just didn't feel right and i wasn't bold enough. so now it's gone again....
it's been a weird summer of learning and growth. God never answers prayer, esp big important requests, the way u expect him to. i've been asking my cell grp girls to pray for my spiritual growth.. and boy has God answered. but certainly not how i wanted him to. i started to understand what God's doing in my life with all these strange thoughts going on in my head lately. i guess they are sorta typical of me, but not augmented to this degree. it's been back to the most simplest, most basic things.... and ugly things have been revealed in me that i didn't care to think about. but... i think the healing process has begun and i can see God's logic in all of this... how things build on each other and how learning to love others has to start with loving myself first and accepting and internalizing who i am in christ, what it means to be a child of God. i didn't think that growth would mean going backwards first. but i guess i never really had that foundation to begin with, so now it's being done the right way... and painful as it is, it'll be worth it in the end...when this process is over.. and the next one begins. :)
Monday, August 19, 2002
jinsi and heidy had a bbq tonight! conveniently while cath was away. haha. i went and joined them after work and met up with mel and susannah too. heidy and jinsi have been exploring the liberties lately and found out they could book the rooftop patio/bbq, so they've been planning this all wk! :) hehe. so funny. they had bought a bunch of stuff in prep for the night and made kebobs and tiramisu.. mm....!! we all went upstairs to the roof and started up the bbq, but it was kinda cold outside and looked like it was gonna rain. just our luck. another couple came out to bbq some of their food too which looked reeally good. :) corn on the cob, steaks and kebobs too. mmm!! we had soooo much meat - i don't hafta eat meat for the rest of the wk!! sausages and ribs and meatballs.... with peppers. which i actually liked! i usually hate peppers and refuse to eat them. :) so yummy. :) oh, and can't forget the wholewheat hot dog buns mel and susannah made them buy!! haha. trust nutrition students to buy food and u never know what u're gonna end up with. :) it was starting to rain harder, so we had the umbrellas out, all huddled around the bbq. such a funny sight. :) after the meat part, we went back down to their suite and played with their toys. they have sooo many!! a leggo movie in the works, leggo racing cars that do sommersaults, a game of jenga, a keyboard with heavy rock sounds and auto fill and endings, and star wars leggo with really cool ppl and parts! what i really loved though was something cath had shown me b4 - a series of black and white framed pics on their wall that told a story of an egg jumping out of the egg carton in the fridge, walking down the hall, out of the house, down the street, onto a rock by the edge of the stream and jumping right in! waah... so cute!! :P it so fits the personality of their apartment and the ppl living there - cass and cath and jinsi. :) it's always fun times at their place!
the weekend
another eventful wkd. :) i have lotsa those. my wkdays are kinda boring. but a good kinda boring - it's relaxing.
so saturday was full and exciting! u can read about it here in full detail. :) i'll just do the highlights.
loi and linda's wedding was kinda fun. :) i didn't know that more ppl go to the banquet than the wedding... how often does that happen? cuz the wedding seemed really small, but the party really big! it was interesting being an "observer". cuz i didn't know anyone, but i met a bunch of matt's friends. and loi and linda seemed really great and friendly. :)
matt went to go set up stuff for justis' concert, so i tagged along and watched them practise. wow, so amazing! the vocals. everything else too, but i'm just amazed at them first. :) oh to sing like that. while matt was setting his computer up the 2nd time we went, albert wu was around so we got to talk. i haven't talked to albert in over a yr, so it was cool to see him and chat again. lotsa awesome stories - matthew house and his dad becoming a christian. and me being reminded of God's provision and plan for me in getting into my masters program, and my missions trip. it's cool how with certain ppl u can jump right into stuff like that. ppl like that are cool. :) but i think it comes with a certain openness and vulnerability. hmm.... i don't got that. all i do is ask questions. :) we were talking up on the 3rd balcony, so we watched everyone as they walked in for the concert. saw lotsa ppl and waved to them. :)
so... a day in the life of a "tool". :P i must say it was fun!
we had a girls lunch out again today after church. teen yut and udon. mmm.... :) carol was back from her time in hk, so it was good seeing her and hearing all her stories. interesting to see her growth. i think i'm slowly getting more comfortable with this jaffray thing. and all it took was a little.... attitude change. mm...we talked for quite awhile with karen and holly. marriage stuff and all that. i went home and journalled for a bit. lotsa thoughts flying all over the place. spent some short time with God, then it was off to pick up steph and carol for justis' concert. which was AMAZING. :) lotsa fun... and inspiring.
bed time. [yawn] looking forward to a new wk. tired, but in a way, ready to face the world again. hesitantly.
Friday, August 16, 2002
meekness
This is the highest and most profitable lesson, truly to know and to despise ourselves. To have no opinion of ourselves, and to think always well and highly of others, is great wisdom and perfection.
~ Thomas a Kempis
i'm a weird mix of self-righteousness and inferiority.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
[yawn]
what a long day. but one with a fun ending. :) i got up really early this morn to go to scarboro general. then off to work i went. got to eat the yummy sour cream and chives crackers that i had been dreaming about. [grin] thanx, susannah!! i was efficiency itself today. hehe. well, except for the hour i spent telling wongs about recent stories. :) i did 3 out of the 4 things i wanted to finish today... which is rare cuz i tend to overestimate my ability and be unrealistic about daily goals. but that was encouraging. connie was at work. yay! she's always fun to talk to and laugh with. :) she's one of the ppl i've gotten to know the best and connect with the most over this summer. which is kinda sad, cuz i don't think i know her that well. but hmm.
after work, i went to gerstein for a meeting with the rest of the girls working on the burwash menu evaluation contract. we got paid! woohoo!! my only source of income this summer. the summer's getting close to an end and we've got to get this stuff together b4 the frosh come, so we've got some work ahead of us. it was fun though, talking to them again. whenever we get together, 3 things always come up - burn out/laziness, "shop talk" and sex. interesting conversations to say the least. :) and always inspiring.
i got home from dt a little b4 11 pm, then called up rich to see if ppl were still over watching the mole. they were!! wow, hardcore fans. :) so i went over to join him, henry, gary and vicky for a little bit and got there just in time to catch the revealing of the winner and the mole. the show looks pretty cool!! lotsa strategy stuff and all that. very interesting. kinda over my head. :P stuff i never would've gotten if i hadn't seen those clues and sabotages and all that. but it's cool how they explained it all in the end. very complicated!! now we're thinking of an amazing race party. haha. angee, perfect for u and heidy!!
anyhow, i'm off to bed. another long day tmr. [yawn] nite, kids. :) have a good one.
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
inspiration
i found this in a book i'm reading called "the spiritual woman: 10 principles of spirituality and the women who have lived them". it's the testimony of an african martyr.
"i'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. i have the Holy Spirit's power. the die has been cast. i have stepped over the line. the decision has been made... i'm a disciple of His. i won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. my past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. i'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, wordly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.
i no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. i don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. i now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer and i labor with power. my face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. i cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. i will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
i won't give up, shut up, let up, until i have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. i am a disciple of Jesus. i must go til He comes, give till i drop, preach til all know, and work til he stops me. and, when He comes for His own, He will have no problems recognizing me... my banner will be clear!"
freedom!! :) ... well, sorta.
blech.... i was sick today, so i skipped out on work and did absolutely nothing. susannah told me to! hehe. to rest all day. so i spent some more time in bed and laid around for awhile. i had this horrible sore throat that was already really really bad last night. the most painful sore throat i've ever had in my life! serious. cuz i was too lazy to use salt water/scope, as recommended by my mom/matt.... i got sick. :( stuffed up head too. not fun.
anyhoo, i'm a bit better now so i'll go in tmr. sooo much to be done!!
let's recap what i did this wkd cuz it was a pretty full one. :)
[saturday]
i got up super duper early to head downtown for my accounting exam at 9 am at ryerson. u know, i think i kinda like the campus. it's small, but very campus-like. :) i dunno how to describe it. very diff from the ut campus, but it reminds a teeny bit of mcgill and uw. probably cuz it's more typical campus-like. dunno how to describe it otherwise. the exam went well!! i dunno why i'm always so surprised every time cuz i've been doing really well on the midterms, but i was like - oh! it feels like highschool again. heehee. maybe it's cuz it was a first yr course. i dunno. :) but this internet correspondence stuff is great!! i didn't hafta go to ryerson at all til the exam. just download and upload demo probs and assigns.
i finished my exam early, so i had time to go to eaton centre for a little bit. i was so happy - i walked into la senza and the thing i had been meaning to buy for the last couple wks was on sale! woohoo! haha. afterwards, i headed home to get ready for the wedding.
my family and i went to stoney creek, liuana gardens for christine and mac's wedding. such a nice one! it was outside, right by the lake. nice breeze, under the trees, great weather. then afterwards there was a reception on the patio outside the building, so pretty, nice and sunny. dinner was fun - i met some young 'uns at hcac :P and one who's coming to ut next yr!! saw some old friends again - grace, johnny, anna (!), paul, gabe, james and davin too! caught up with jo at dinner and saw some hk sticker pics. :) my family left pretty much right after dinner cuz i wanted to get back in time for connie's bday. i met up with them at ten ren's and hung out for a little bit. yay, the surprise worked!! :) so much fun. i love surprises!! even though matt thinks they're unncecessary. hehe. oh!! and i forgot to add. brian had a fun time signing the book he gave me half a yr ago. :D it's called "fast food nation". i brought it to bubbles cuz he still owed me a signing. bubbles was good. quite a few ppl came l8r!
[sunday]
pastor ben preached on "overcoming procrastination" in english service. i found it quite interesting. :) he talked about the causes, the costs and the cure. hmm! feel free to ask me for sermon notes. :P i skipped sunday school and went to the chinese service afterwards cuz the venezuela team was sharing. they did their skit and a few ppl on the team talked about their experience. my dad is sooo funny!! :) i don't think i've seen him act b4... but this one was just hilarious. it's kinda like his sermon expressions, but slightly more exaggerated. the best part was when he pretended to be upset when a phonecall came about his kids being in a car accident. now that was so fake - i had to crack up!! hahahaha. the membership meeting was afterwards and it kinda reminded me of eg unit 11, which talks about the church working together to discern the will of God, since he tells each member diff parts. so u need each other. and it made me long to be part of a church ... an active part of some church.
our family went to tea room after church for lunch. what is with yum cha? i swear that made my sore throat worse. oh well, they had yummy vegs there. :) hehe. i went to watch the cpc vs. tcbc game at 6 at oriole. lotsa fun! :) a whole bunch of tcbc ppl were there, but i refused to sit on their side of the bench. i had to support my own church. :D it was good to see some ppl - like yuling and ann and alan came too!! oh, and i saw michael!! ken's brother... i think i'm walking down the aisle with him... he's 12 yrs old. :D but soo cute! heehee. i went to go pick up my sis from huntsmill, saw andrew for a brief second, then dropped her and her friends off at home b4 coming back to pho88 to join the rest of the softball ppl again for dinner.
oh! i almost forgot. i drove matt home, then we went driving for a bit. :) hehe. what fun. well... for me. :P
what a full wkd. :) but a good one!! i think i deserved it. :D
Friday, August 09, 2002
boredom
it's a fri night and i'm sitting at home, studying accounting. only 15 more hours til it's all over. i can't wait. i don't wanna look at this stuff for another minute. i'm talking to brian and listening to jennifer lopez's "alive". i really like that song. there hasn't been much to blog about lately. i've spent a lotta time this wk at home studying for accounting. oh, the mole party is moved to wed night now. so lemme know if u're interested.
3 more wks of my placement left. i found out i gotta go til aug 30. that'll be a full 16 wks. still lotsa work to do, nancy piles it on. so it'll be pretty busy this month at work. i hope i'll be able to do it all within work hours.... i wanna make the most of what's left of summer. u know, i never found it hard to get to know ppl or make friends at work. but lately it's been diff... and i'm starting to experience for myself what ppl mean when they say that ppl are happy where they are and don't make the extra effort to get to know u or care. the ppl at work are great. really friendly, always willing to help. but i dunno if it's the diff in age or what, but i find it hard to get to know them on a deeper level. maybe it's a comfortability thing that i'm talking about. but hmm... i'm not quite sure how to describe it. i'm just starting to see how hard it is to make real friends and get to know and care for ppl at work. the couple ppl i've gotten to know more this summer have been phong, the other summer student, and connie. connie's so funny. :) angie's great too. and she really cares about my learning. she even took me out to dinner once, so sweet. but... maybe it's a clicking thing. anyhow, that's something i've noticed that has been diff compared to my past summer jobs. but then again, a lot of those were with my peers.
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
my family went to yum cha for lunch today. we haven't had a real family meal in awhile. too bad nate couldn't come. but good laughs, nonetheless. my family is sooo funny sometimes. :) i really love how we can be silly and joke around and have big laughs like that. :D my parents and sis were laughing so hard at me, and us at my dad, that we were all but rolling on the floor laughing our heads off! hahaha. :)
i spent another good day at home today. i've been reading lotsa the bible lately and getting really excited when i talk to ppl about God. it's so great. :) oh, to read scripture and talk about it all the time! i wish it was like this all the time!! i've moved on to reading amos now. chewing on it. :)
i read parts of "every man's battle" this wkd. my bro's. a very interesting book. quite an easy read. it really opened my eyes to just how hard the struggle towards sexual purity is for guys. wow. even, or maybe esp, after marriage. how the authors were so candid about their own experiences was really cool too. but i really loved their ideas about cherishing ur wife. and how much love and commitment that would've taken. wow.... to be cherished like that.... :) what a challenge. read it! good book. :)
today on my run, i had this incredible sense of freedom and peace. for once, instead of looking at the pavement beneath me, i looked up at the trees towering over me, the sunlight peeking thru the gaps in the leaves and the blue blue sky. what beauty!! and then on the walk home thru my neighbourhood, for some reason i started thinking about singleness. this gift that God's given me.... and i was filled with joy at what it really means. imagine that! haha. it was a weird feeling for sure, but such freedom!! not to have to think about relationship stuff and pain and broken hearts and marriage and kids and all that right now. but to be free! to go where God wants me to go! to do what he wants me to do! to glorify God and enjoy him forever. :D
it's gonna be a super duper busy wk, studying for my accounting final on sat and working too. i'm gonna be scarce, but leave msgs for me on icq if u need to reach me and i'll check every so often. :)
btw, anyone want to come to a mole party on mon, aug 12? we're gonna have dinner first then go watch some mole episodes. i've never watched it b4, so this will be my first. come, come! it'll be great!! lemme know if u wanna come!! :) everyone is welcome!! right, rich? :) as long as they can fit in ur house. hehe.
Sunday, August 04, 2002
i was cleaning out my hotmail fwd folder today and found this:
Be different – if you don’t have the facts and knowledge required, simply listen. When word gets around that you can listen when others tend to talk, you will be treated as a sage.
~Ed Koch
how true. :) here's another one:
A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.
~William Arthur Ward
i love quotes. really really good ones. :)
.....
it's been a lazy sat. i had big plans to do work, but i decided i needed a break. work can wait til monday. :) i bummed around, read a bit, talked to my bro, watched a few episodes of felicity (i love that show [sigh]) and had dinner with my family at swiss chalet. we used to go there all the time when we first moved here. :) "swiss chalet! always so good, for so little!" haha. memories of quoting commercials with steph. another steph.
at dinner, i brought up the whole financial independence thing with my parents and where they stood in terms of expectations for me in the future. i still so want to be financially independent of them, to be able to support myself. but ... it's not likely that i'll get a real full-time job til 2005, i'm thinking. not with the stuff i wanna do. it seems so far off. it doesn't seem like i'll ever get a job and support myself and grow up. (forget marriage and all that stuff) it's like some illusive dream in the future. i'll be making bbt forever.... or that post office job that dorcas was talking about sounds good. it pays almost double what i make at bubbles. i'd need something more to support myself. well, i guess there's always being a garbage girl to fall back on. i'll be strong enough soon, i've been working out. ;)
Saturday, August 03, 2002
i wish for love. 1 peter 4:8
