Saturday, June 29, 2002
i wonder if loneliness can be self-imposed.
....
Wednesday, June 26, 2002
summer shopping fun
HAHAHA. i just read james' blog on our shopping adventures today. :) what fun!
my sis and i were just leaving to go to scarborough towne this aft when james called me. i had promised my sis i'd take her shopping if she read a good chunk of her driver's handbook. my attempt at motivating her to get her g1 FINALLY! :) anyhow, james had msg'd me to see if i wanted to go to stc cuz sue was in the area and was gonna go there. he msg'd me and got my n/a msg "gone shopping". haha. what a coincidence.
dorcas and i stopped by nationals first to take a look at running shoes. she's been trying to find a pair of new balance. my influence. :) we picked one out pretty quickly and saw ahfa at the checkout... slacking from work as usual. [grin] totally kidding. haha. james called me as we pulled out of the parking lot cuz he had just gotten to stc. as i was pulling into a parking space at stc, someone called me. a voice replied and said he was at sunrise and where were we meeting? i *thought* it was matt, but what in the world was he doing at stc?? dorcas and i decided to go to sunrise to see if it really was matt, but on the way we got sidetracked at sportschek. :) james called to see where we were, so we went to meet him, sue and joe too! megs showed up l8r. :) the first thing i heard was "what? that's lydia? she looks like a kid!!" hahaha. and i wasn't even wearing my hair clips today. [grin] on sunday at the anniversary celebration, someone told us that dorcas looked like the older sister and i looked like the younger one. lol.
anyhoo, i haven't been shopping with a whole buncha ppl in awhile, but it was pretty fun! not so productive, but we all tried on some things. my sis was shopping for a prom dress... a yr in advance. :P so we went to laura petites, reitmans and fairweather. poor james and joe. :) haha. i walked in la senza cuz i wanted to check some things out and joe was like - "no way i'm going in there!" lol. that designated guy area james talks about sounds just about right! :D the only store we went in that had guy stuff in it was american eagle. but not james' style, so he didn't look too much. but we had a good discussion about finding a new style for... my boy. [grin] oops, gotta talk to him about that first! (it turns out that matt was at stc with euge and called from euge's phone which was dying, so we didn't find 'em after all.)
all in all a good shopping trip. :) didn't buy anything, but got some ideas. and didn't feel bleh. :) i think my colour choices are starting to move away from the "blue only" section. :) i used to have the same prob as megs - everything i liked was blue!! but i'm going for brighter colours now, so hopefully my closet will be more colourful. yay, colour! blinding colour. [grin]
Monday, June 24, 2002
here's a few lines of a song that i heard while driving home today. the lyrics say it all. i love it. :)
video
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie
When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I'm lovin' what I see
~india arie
my weekend
phew. what a busy busy wkd.
sat morn was the cooking demo at mon sheong. irene and i went early early to prep and make all the chicken fajitas for the seniors to sample. nancy actually ended up getting us to demonstrate. eeek! :P more chinese. i ran home afterwards (well, not literally) to make spinach salad - with blueberries. yummy! :) then headed over to chuck's place cuz we were gonna go wedding gift shopping for ken and anita. i got to talk to alan for a bit and saw chuck's fancy photography project. very cool. very artsy! :) he's taking a photography course at ocad and learning a thing or two. what is it with everyone and photography these days? :P chuck and i went to the bay to check out the bridal registry, but decided it was too boring. :) we walked around the mall looking for fun stuff, but in the end decided to get half and half of registry and fun things. during shopping, chuck was trying to find cool shots to take. he has to do this assignment where the subject of the picture is in focus, but everything else around the person is a blur. so we walked around trying to find areas with lotsa ppl so he could take a pic of me walking towards him and a blur of ppl going in the opposite direction. i had a hard time trying not to look at him and laugh while he was taking 'em. :D after shopping and card writing, i went to pick up matt and we went over to andrew's for his farewell bbq. had a little food, then went to bigjon's vocal teacher's recital. i was kinda curious what it'd be like. i haven't been to a recital in ages. there were a few students who were really good!!! esp this girl who matt recognized as a girl he went to elementary school with. bigjon was pretty good too! he sang a couple things from les mis. lotsa expression. :P good stuff. haha. matt and i went back to andrew's afterwards. we convinced yuling to play violin for us!!! haha. andrew brought out all the other instruments - a couple more violins incl a tiny tiny one!! and a cello. we had lotsa fun playing the rest of the night. :) yuling and i were trying to sightread a buncha stuff incl some chinese songs and reading 'em sideways cuz we were too lazy to take 'em out of the binder. [grin] funny pics. :) after much lingering and reluctance, we said goodbye to andrew. :( bye!! all the best in seattle. we'll miss u in toronto.
sun morn i got up early for english service. ahfa preached a sermon on "the qualities of a godly man" based on boaz in ruth 2. hmm... :) interesting tie in to sexual purity. :) good stuff, though, on that. good stuff. scary stories of where lust can lead to. quote: "women use sex to get love, while men use love to get sex." hmm.... after service, i headed dt. i wanted to get there in time to catch worship at presby, but bleh... didn't make it. traffic and finding parking... and waiting for my mom. but i did catch the end of the sermon which went waaay over time. (woohoo! :P) the speaker was pretty interesting. a missionary to new guinea who talked about spiritual compasses. things in each culture that pointed to God. it's there! in every culture. he wrote a book on it. that'd be interesting to read. after service, shannon, my lovely prayer partner :), and i went to kowloon for dim sum and some sharing. we had lotsa praise this wk. awesome! God's been showing the both of us a lot lately, making some simple concepts come alive for us like never b4. henman, ulia (did i spell that right?), megs, matt and richard came to kowloon for lunch too. they had ACTS practise afterwards, so matt and i took off for some greg's. mmm... :) but first we called up kaitlyn and finally gave her her new guitar. didn't get a chance to talk to her for long though cuz i was in a rush to get back uptown. i kinda miss work ppl. i wonder what terrance is up to these days. i think he's going to korea soon. and mike left to go home to vancouver yesterday. off to greg's.... coffee toffee... mmmmmmm! :D after dropping matt off, i headed up north to auntie dora and uncle sam's 25th anniversary celebration at ntcac. it's was sooo nice!! what a bash. :) beautiful weather for it too. and yummy food. i'm totally inspired by the sharing and what my dad said about their family in his mini-talk. 25 yrs of marriage.. and still going strong. almost extinct these days, karen said.
3 am. yikes! time for bed.
nite y'all!
Saturday, June 22, 2002
a good day. :)
i got to work early today for connie's diabetes group. i did my long-awaited exercise demo/presentation thing. (in CHINESE. O_o) it was actually lotsa fun! some of the seniors are so cute. :) we did aerobics with this richard simmons "silver foxes" (i.e. for seniors) video that was incredibly old and cheeeese!! haha. and i taught them some simple strength training exercises they could do. and all the basics. they had a good time. connie was saying they were listening so intently to me, unlike when she's talking. haha. i think it's just cuz i'm sooo quiet. :) practising for this talk was hilarious. susannah couldn't stop laughing at me when i practised it for the first time. but then she was amazed at how i could speak normally by the end of the day. after i had gone over it a gazillion times. my mom laughed when she saw all the "yums" beside the words on my paper. she couldn't tell what they were, but thought it was funny how i could read those words and actually sound like i know what i'm talking about. haha. i don't think i'll do another talk like that in chinese in awhile! unless it's another one on exercise cuz now i know all the terms!!
after being bored with susannah for awhile, ann and ken came for lunch with me and connie. yay! :) we went to lisa's, this place on carlaw and had panninis. yum! fun stuff. :) connie is so cute! really sweet, always so positive, always has a smile on her face, friendly and so funny. :) we had some good laughs. i heard about the wedding plans. ann and ken have been doing lots. but ann's still got to pick a colour!! hmm.. any suggestions? what colour would suit ann? hmm... hard to say. ken said he wants all black. HAHAHA. so ken. :P
i came home early to pick up some groceries for mon sheong's cooking demo tmr. nancy's doing it, but she got us students (me and irene) to be her sous-chefs. kinda. :P i'm always the sous-chef. hehe. i spent 2 h tonight grating carrots! aaahhh!! lovely. [grin] my hands were all yellow after. bleech. :) we're making chicken fajitas and egg salad with pineapple in a pita tmr for the seniors. mm.. the pineapple sounds good. :) i'm on this raspberry vinaigrette kick. have been ever since i had some kinda fruity vinaigrette with my salad at the dietetic intern professional development day at sick kids.yummmy!! so i bought the kraft kind today and tried it. pretty good, but it doesn't have enough raspberry bite to it. i'm gonna try the renee's brand next. renee's caesar dressing is pretty yummy and it's expensive, so hopefully that means its raspberry vinaigrette is good too!
i've been spending so much time at home lately. it's kinda weird! :) but actually really nice. angie (the dietitian) said my parents must hate how i come home late from work on thurs nights, but i was like - well, no. cuz i stay home all the time during the wk, but save my going out for the wkds, so they're pretty cool with that. then my mom today asked me if i had no friends cuz i never go out anymore!!! and i was like - O_o... great!!! hahaha. i guess it's cuz i never used to be home during all my other summers in univ. oh well. :) it's good times anyhoo. even if my mom thinks i'm a loner. [grin]
God's been making his love for us humans more real to me lately. i've been reading hosea and a bit of psalms and thinking about my parents' love for me and things like that. the other day on the subway, i saw something that God used as an example to show me once again, the depth of his love. here it is, i'm cutting and pasting from an email.
on the subway yesterday, there was a guy and a girl. the girl was really into playing this video game. i don't think her eyes left it at all the whole time i saw her. this guy was with her and he was getting off at the stop b4 her, so he was talking to her and getting his stuff ready. when it got to his stop, he told the girl to call him, said bye and walked out the door. but kept looking back at the girl who was playing her game. who never once looked up. he tapped on the window behind her with his water bottle, but she didn't notice/hear. he walked down the platform a ways and when the train started and we passed him, his eyes were on the girl again. but the whole time she was playing that video game and didn't once notice all the attention he was giving her. i felt bad for the guy. and i thought, wow, i wish someone loved me like that. and then jesus goes to me... i do!! and i was like, hey, u really do!! :) God's always watching us, waiting for us to notice him. he wants to heap all this love on us and most of the time we just go on doing our own thing, walking by him, not once looking up at him or even thinking about him. too intent on doing things our way.
alrighty, i'm super tired now. and i gotta get up REAL bright and early for mon sheong tmr morn, so it's time for bed.
nite! :)
Thursday, June 20, 2002
happy birthday, alan
not much to blog about today. well, there's always lotsa stuff, but i don't feel like formulating my thoughts on an issue today.
i have a major headache and i was feeling really nauseous earlier. which is weird cuz i never feel like this when i fast.
susannah started working at srchc this wk, so i'm not so lonely anymore in my cubicle. i started decorating it too. :) kinda. i think susannah's really bored, though. ann gave her some envtl health stuff to read and she gets to cover for suan at reception when she goes for lunch. we finally had a diabetes level 1 class today. we never had enough clients b4, so they kept cancelling it. i was helping this one lady with her glucometre but she kept pricking herself with her needle. accidentally. aiya. she was telling stories about when she was a kid and lived in "africa" and had to constantly get checked for malaria with these big huge needles. well, at least she's not scared of needles anymore. heh.
God's been kinda funny. reminding me and confirming that he wants me to get to know him right now. and nothing else. i was doing devos this morning and flipped back to eg unit 2 by chance and read a note i had written to myself in the margin. if all God wanted from u was for u to remain in a love relationship with him and simply get to know him, would u be able to? easy peasy, i wrote. yeah, right. i'm getting restless. but i started reading this "how to study ur bible book". inductive manuscript style. kinda interesting. i must read on.
some interesting links to check out:
www.ijm.org
www.bread.org, too bad it's only american.
anita, have u talked to kim lately? is she doing alright?
i got emails from brittany and lucy today. the trek's starting again. go check out what's going on this yr. it's good reading. scott wrote some stuff about the urban poor and his vision for the trek.
i was re-reading the lyrics to the song below. and thinking how awesome it would be to be able to say that to a friend. i was telling alan the other day, in spite of all the "friends" i have, sometimes i feel so awfully alone. i don't feel so close to the ppl who consider me one of their closest friends. and the ones i consider close friends don't seem to think that way of me. maybe it's been too long. or maybe i'm looking for too much.
(ps. i'm fine, thanx. thinking, is all.)
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
i really like the words to this song. i found it on cat's page.
more than you'll ever know
Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
You had faith, when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be...
You have carried me
You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
~watermark
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
happy birthday, mel :)
a relaxing summer... for once. :)
1.5 months of summer has passed already and u know what? i'm having a really good one this yr. not that i don't usually have good summers, they're usually just really frazzling. :) my word. i'm always running around doing a gazillion things and never getting enough sleep. wondering why summers are busier than school terms. this summer, though, has been really different.
i've been trying to keep my wkday nights free. to study, relax, exercise, read, pray, do eg, chill with my family. the wkds are usually full of activity. i go to hosanna (sometimes) on fri nights and then chill with matt afterwards. sundays i usually go dt to pray with shannon at 2nd cup. saturdays are usually for seeing someone i haven't seen in a long time. it's been a good summer of catching up with ppl. i've met up with donna, susannah, winnie and talked to sarah on the phone. i'll meet up with her in july sometime when she's done her next accounting exam. i'm going wedding gift shopping with chuck next wkd for ken and anita. we'll hafta come up with something fun like we did for their engagement gift. :) 2 happy face candles dressed up to look like them, and K+A in a spaghetti heart. :) so funny. i'm meeting ann for breakfast next wkd. lots of other ppl i wanna see too. like bernie and alan. and wayne. and steph and pat. it's about time lill and i caught up too. wongs called me... .twice! in the last 2 days. :) yay!! it was good to talk to him again. we hadn't talked on the phone in AGES. and icq's just not the same. cuz of someone's icq habits... ahem! [grin] he's teaching me some german! :) so i can say... ich habe hunger! (is that how u spell hunger?) and what else... bis morgen! (i'm guessing at all the spellings here :) and i still remember "ich liebe dich." from brittany. :) [sigh] i miss having wongs around all the time.
anyhoo, this summer i'm spending a lot more time at home, more time thinking, reading. less time on the run. i'm not stressed or feeling frantic. it's a good feeling. i have a feeling this is what life should be like. :) i've spent the last wk praying hard, more than i usually do (which isn't saying a lot :P, but that's something that's changing), asking God what he wants me to focus on this summer. what he wants me to do for him that's on my list. but u know what? i haven't sensed him telling me to do anything. not women's cell, not jaffray stuff, not frosh stuff. all i've heard him tell me lately is how important prayer and studying scripture is... and how he wants me to do much more of that. so that's what i'm doing.... and gonna do til he tells me otherwise. it's SO HARD. >.< not doing what i have a heart for. esp when i think about what a difference it would make and how it could be so fruitful. but.... if God's not in on it, then there's no point in doing it. and i wouldn't be obeying and waiting on him. so.... i will continue doing what i've been doing. God's already showing me so much already. about my parents, and about his amazing love. read hosea 2. awesome. God is sooo good. bwana asifiwe!!
Saturday, June 15, 2002
what an utterly unproductive day. O_o (i'm starting to really like this face) i can't make myself study even though i need/want to. i've learned that lesson from b4. what to do, what to do?? 2 more days to go. thank goodness, tmr is a new day. i give up on today.
my dad is doing the hunger hike on june 22nd for the world relief orgn. it's in the rouge valley. coolio! anyone wanna sponsor him? ;)
i've been listening to the "a walk to remember" soundtrack nonstop since my sis got it back from her friend a wk ago. :) i really like it!! it's therapeutic in some ways. very fun and cheery, a lot of it is. summer music. :) my sis had to tell me to stop listening to it so she could listen to other mandy moore music. haha.
oh, btw, for some of u out there - i really do have a younger sis. her name is dorcas. we've decided to bring her out of hiding. [grin]
Friday, June 14, 2002
the importance of nutrition
halloo!! it's the wkd!! a wkd of studying.. yippee! at least it's not real brainer stuff... just accounting. [grin]
soo... i started reading my intro to nutri text again to brush up on my knowledge. gotta keep up to date and remember everything! the field of nutrition is so vast. i found a blurb in my text that explains why nutrition is so important fairly well. the food choices u make every day over time affects ur health. individually they may not make a diff, but added together they do. i'm not of the school of thought of depriving oneself. ppl who know me will know that i eat "junk" just like the next person. BUT i do eat my share of fruits and veggies too. and milk. :D all things in moderation. that is the key, my friends, to a healthy, balanced diet. have u taken a look at my blog title lately? :) way at the top. the part that's usually blue. that is my philosophy.
okie dokes. without further ado, here is the excerpt from "understanding nutrition" by whitney and rolfes.
every day, several times a day, u make food choices that influence ur body's health for better or worse. each day's choice may benefit or harm ur health only a little, but when these choices are repeated over yrs and decades, the rewards or consequences become major. that being the case, close attention to good eating habits now can bring health benefits l8r. conversely, carelessness about food choices from youth on can be a major contributor to many of today's most prevalent chronic disease of l8r life, including heart disease and cancer. of course, some ppl will become ill or die young no matter what choices they make, and others will live long lives despite making poor choices. for the large majority, however, the food choices they make each and every day will benefit or impair their health in proportion to the wisdom of the choices.
while most ppl realize that their food habits affect their health, they often choose foods for other reasons. after all, foods bring to the table a variety of pleasures, traditions, and associations as well as nourishment. the challenge, then, is to combine favourite foods and fun times with a nutritionally balanced diet.
Thursday, June 13, 2002
encourage one another
1 thessalonians 5:11
"therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact u are doing."
i spent a good part of tues driving around doing errands and looking for books on exercising for seniors at the public library (more on that l8r maybe :). while i was driving around, i listened to a tape i found in my dad's car on small grp ministry. i love sermons on tape. it was a pastors update series put out by willowcreek on being a church of small grps rather than a church with small grps. a pretty powerful msg. something that jaffray has become in the last few yrs.
anyhow, one of the things that i really liked was an encouragement exercise that the speaker does in his small grp on a regular basis, esp since encouragement is something that i've been thinking about lately. he said that the grp sits in a semi-circle and a chair is put in the middle of the grp facing the opposite direction. they take turns sitting in that chair. for each person in the chair, the other members of the grp each take one minute to talk about that person's gifts and what they see God doing in that person, offering up words of affirmation and encouragement. That goes on for about 5, 6 min til everyone in the grp has said something about that person. can u imagine the effect that would have on that person? now that's building one another up.
it's so easy to get discouraged in our christian lives. we keep failing over and over again. we never seem to be able to do anything right. often times, we don't see the work that God is doing in our own lives, we only see our failures. and so i think it's so important to encourage each other and affirm one another in the things that we see God doing thru our brothers and sisters, slowly changing them to become more like jesus.
this reminds me of my missions trip last yr. one of the girls on my team, michelle, always used to say "i affirm u." whenever we did something or said something that she supported. it got kinda annoying after awhile :P but i think she had the right idea. during our last team time together at camp colby in the mountains outside LA, we had a gift-giving time. this was new to me, but apparently it's a common ivcf thing to do. instead of giving material gifts, we gave each other encouragement and "i admire.../i appreciate..." gifts. it was really cool to hear the things that our teammates had to say to encourage and appreciate each other.
so u know what? i think we should encourage each other more often. it's easy to criticize and talk about failures and things that ppl aren't doing right, but let's look for the good and offer encouragement, support and care to each other more often!!
[sigh]
... u sit in sadness, but life goes on.
lots to blog about, but tmr's a long day so i need my sleep.
romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us."
some days i can just sit and meditate on God's word forever. :)
ange, i hope u feel better soon. :(
good nite, everyone.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
it's late and i'm tired, so i'm off to bed. but b4 i go, i'll leave u with an excerpt from "life together" by bonhoeffer. a book i've been reading that's full of good stuff. here it is.
"we must learn to know the scriptures again, as the reformers and our fathers knew them. we must not grudge the time and the work that it takes. we must know the scriptures first and foremost for the sake of our salvation. but besides this, there are ample reasons that make this requirement exceedingly urgent. how, for example, shall we ever attain certainty and confidence in our personal and church activity if we do not stand on solid biblical ground? it is not our heart that determines our course, but God's word. but who in this day has any proper understanding of the need for scriptural proof? how often we hear innumerable arguments "from life" and "from experience" put forward as the basis for most crucial decisions, but the argument of scripture is missing. and this authority would perhaps point in exactly the opposite direction. it is not surprising, of course, that the person who attempts to cast discredit upon their wisdom should be the one who himself does not seriously read, know, and study the scriptures. but one who will not learn to handle the bible for himself is not an evangelical christian."
Monday, June 10, 2002
happy happy birthday, angee!!
Sunday, June 09, 2002
i had an epiphany today. :) eveything seemed to come together. i went to service this morn, then skipped sunday school to come home, spend some quiet time with God and then start studying. it was great. i'm gonna do some serious praying for the next wk and listen to the holy spirit speak.
here's a devo from "in touch", a magazine i picked up from church. i added the verse. :)
the price of prayerlessness
"one of those days jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God."
luke 6:12
"i was given weakness that i might feel the need of God."
~anonymous
prayer was a priority in jesus' life. he communed with his father continually. in fact, prayer is an essential priority in the life of everyone mightily used of God - every single person who is walking in the spirit and living a holy life.
when our time alone with God is no longer a pirority, we open ourselves to discouragement, doubt, disillusionment, and eventually disaster. when we no longer fellowship with him, we begin to feel the spiritual, emotional and physical weight of our earthly circumstances.
prayer lifts up our burdens so that we don't have to bear their weight. whether they are given to us by the lord in order to teach us, or self-imposed as a result of the decisions we make, God tells us to cast our burdens on him. bearing the weight of our burdens we were not intended to carry not only takes a spiritual toll on us, but leaves us physically and emotionally beaten as well.
satan knows that tired and weary christians are prime targets for his attacks. first, he strikes with discouragement. when we lose hope, we are primed and ready for his next weapon - doubt. a doubting christian can easily be pushed into discouragement. listening to the devil's proclamations, "where is God?" and "the christian life doesn't work!" can breed disaster.
therefore, prayer is not only a comfort in times of need; it is essential for your survival. it guided jesus thru his life - let it guide u.
Saturday, June 08, 2002
pain. selfish pain.
u know what i hate? a sinking feeling in my stomach. and knowing that the only way to fix that is to change my attitude about the situation. but knowing that that'll be a long and painful process. think positive, lyds. positive. psalm 121.
written thurs night:
oops! i wrote fri night b4, but i REALLY meant thurs night. :)
i went to the AOHC (assoc of ontario health centres) conference today at inn on the park. it was good. not the good i was expecting, but good nonetheless. learned about the future of health care in ontario and the role of chc's, met some cool ppl and got to network a bit. community health is almost as small as dietetics. everyone knows each other. i ran into patty, a dietitian i had interviewed with for a placement position at her chc. i went to an anti-oppression networking session in the morn and met a couple board members from black creek chc and the executive director of the kitchener downtown chc. it was just the 4 of us for the first while, so we had a good discussion about nutrition (yay, me), discrimination, the housing situtation, etc. some pretty scary stories out there. when the ED from kitch heard i was a student at ut, she gave me her card right away and told me to give her a call when i was closer to graduating cuz they're looking for a nutritionist/dietitian and it's hard to find community nutrition ppl these days. we're in high demand. yay. talking to these ppl got me thinking and appreciating the work of chc's. if i didn't have my heart set on going overseas, i think i'd like to work in a chc. i'm totally sold on the community approach. health prevention, lifestyle changes, working with the ppl in their own community with their input, serving marginalized grps. u really get a sense of the real issues ppl in toronto in the low income, immigrant, high needs popln are dealing with. none of this upper middle class trivial consumeristic world i live in. these are real life survival issues that these ppl have to face every day of their lives.
i went to a couple workshops in the aft. one was on the veg and fruit intervention that cancer care ontario is working on to promote eating vegs and fruit (notice it's not fruits and vegs. hehe. vegs come first!) to women btwn the ages of 25-45. cuz they're gatekeepers to their family. anyhow, they're working on this program and it sounds pretty interesting. it'll be neat to see the outcome of that when they've finalized everything and start to run it. just in that room alone, there were 4 of us (out of 10) who had graduated from the mhsc program. yay, mhsc! the 2nd workshop i went to was the "kids have stress too!" workshop. it talked about the stress that kids face that their parents might not realize, and how parents' stress affect the kids. it gave suggestions as to how u can teach ur kids to handle stress at a young age, so that they'll have these skills for life. good stuff. it's targeted to parents cuz parents are a kid's best resource. i was telling ppl at ccf today that my "job" is so cushy. (i say "job" cuz i'm not getting paid) all i do is surf and play with babies. hehe. it's fun stuff. all these kids these days. i'm helping angie out with the jump start program which is for moms with kids 0-3 yrs. they all bring their babies, so we play with them. some of 'em are sooo cute. i'm looking forward to when i have my own kids to love. but that sure won't be for awhile yet. i was talking to karen and holly mo during sunday school one time (sorry, arthur :P) about hemaphrodites and other ppl with sexual abnormalities in holly's abnormal psych text. and she was saying how they're normal now (psychologically, i guess) and they're married and have kids. and i said - i guess if those ppl are married and have families, that means i still have a chance. lol. i laugh, but that's how i feel. for real. [sigh]
since i didn't have an 11 h day today and i didn't hafta stay for the food budgeting program, i finally got to go to ccf tonight. i miss ccf. fellowship. i go to hosanna at jaffray sometimes, but it's not quite the same. i think God has been putting some thoughts into my head (i say "i think" cuz it might just be me. i gotta pray about it some more first.) lately about serving. i'd like to get involved with the frosh connexion praise night and with utccf frosh orientation planning again. and i've also been thinking of considering leading women's small grp next yr. amy's done it for the last 2 yrs, a great job, but she's not sure where God's telling her to go next yr - ccf, mcf, dcf. i was also wondering if we should keep going with women's cell during the summer. i was thinking about that while getting ready for church on sunday. the thought just popped into my head. and then tonight at kowloon, fiona asked if i wanted to start up women's cell again this summer and i was like - yeah!! i was just thinking about that!!
my summer hours are getting booked fast. i'm so wary of what i commit to nowadays. i've learned my lesson about doing too much and burning out. i'm not like amy who can do a million things at once. :) i admire that in her. she can handle it... to an extent. but i know myself. i can't handle too much at once or i'll freak out. i need time to myself. and with God. so i like to take it easy and give 100% to the things i've committed to. but... we'll see how things turn out. so far i've got on my plate:
1. "full-time" placement at srchc
2. distance ed accounting course at ryerson
3. menu evaln contract for burwash
4. frosh discussion night for jaffray frosh with nate
5. cheerleading squad for .com and .ca :D - i'd really like to use this as an opportunity to get to know more jaffray girls and ppl and support the softball ministry
6. frosh connexion
7. ccf women's cell
8. i wanna work on family relationships.
9. i'd like to start some kinda informal girls grp at jaffray. i see the need for some kinda closer fellowship btwn the univ girls for mutual support and encouragement, spiritual growth.
10. brush up on my nutrition knowledge.
yikes, lotsa stuff. i've really gotta pray about these things.
donna’s back. yay! i’ve missed her lotsand lots. we got to talk tonight for a little bit. can’t wait to meet up with her again on sunday.
ok, that's all folks. that's what i've been thinking about today. u don't need to talk to me anymore. haha.
good nite.
Friday, June 07, 2002
sorry about the delayed response to the posts in my forum about the "best friends" issue. lotsa talk on that lately. even at ccf tonight. i'll reply soon, i just don't feel like talking about guy/girl stuff tonight. (what a rarity. heh.)
i read joanne's humungo blogs yesterday. and u know what? i really appreciate them. i can sense the honesty that's in them, like she's pouring her heart out. real blogging. something i miss. this blog community has definitely changed since i joined. good to see lots more bloggers out there, but at the same time, i dunno if i like it all that much. no offence to anyone intended. i'm just being honest right now, so let me speak my mind. don't take it personally. i started blogging as a way to share certain thoughts i wanted to share with a few close friends. in those days (listen to me. heh.), i wrote what i wanted to write and wasn't even conscious of my audience a lot of the times. sometimes it was just for me. to vent. but now.... these days, holly has been saying that she's run out of interesting blog topics (though i don't think that's true at all), and sometimes even though i know it's not the purpose of blogging, but i feel a need to "perform." if not to entertain or make ppl think, at least i am much more aware of my blog audience out there and of course, stalkers. so i'm much less likely to just say what i wanna say. and to vent. and i don't like that at all. maybe i need to change the way i view this whole blogging thing again. a few nights ago i was tired and feeling sorta down. i almost blogged "RIP" to put an end to it all. but i didn't. and the next day, i blogged about the issue of guy/girl best friends. well... my blog continues. but i'm gonna try and return to my original mindset. excuse me if my tone changes.
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
any of u who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
luke 14:33
strong words, eh? serious consequences. i just finished doing experiencing God 8.1. i'm slowly chugging along. :) this unit is on "adjusting ur life to God." i'm mulling over what this verse means to me personally, what i need to give up to God... and if i'm at that point yet where i'm willing to. hmm... this will be an interesting unit. for the longest time i've wanted to establish a regular prayer time cuz my prayer life is horrible. i thought having a prayer partner would help. and it did, kinda. at least i'd pray with shannon once a wk. but by myself, i still didn't pray very often. other than those quickly whispered prayers during the day. but i never set aside time to do some serious talking and listening to God. after talking to emily briefly today and tonight's eg, i sensed God telling me that's definitely something that's gotta change in my life. no more excuses, no more procrastinating, no more being too busy. time to pray.
i went to a talk this aft on "mainstreaming health into development programs" by dr. chander from world vision. i love how since ut set up the centre for international health they have all these lectures. but usually i'm too busy during the yr to go to them. it was good to go to this talk and listen to dr. chander talk about world vision's work in diff countries and how they've been incorporating the development AND clinical model (vs. simply clinical) into their programs and way of doing things. he also talked about PLA - participatory learning for action. an approach where u go into a village or area without any preconceived agenda and simply ask questions to get an idea of what kinds of things are going on in the place. he had stories of girls being sold to brothels and a hindu cult that sold child brides. things like these keep me grounded, i think. it's just too easy to caught up in this bubble of a north american consumeristic world and forget the kinds of things that are going on on the other side of the world. clement's email updates about life in uganda and micro-enterprise are good for that too. keeps my eyes open and on reality.
i was talking to matt on the subway home tonight and something i said is something i've been thinking about for awhile on and off. i thought i'd mention it here. "how u see a guy makes a big diff in the way u dress and act - whether u see him as a brother, or as someone u wanna seduce." i think when u approach seeing guys as brothers, it makes a fundamental difference in the way u think of them and how u care for them. hmm.... i haven't prayed about this enough yet, but i'd love to talk to some girls about this and more.... does anyone know if anything's been started for girls in toronto? yu says women's cell in 'loo is talking. what about at utccf? our small grps have stopped for the summer, as far as i know. women's cell hasn't been meeting. hmmm...
Monday, June 03, 2002
ok, i was gonna put all this in my forum in response to the "who's on first" posts, but it was getting too long so i'll reply here instead. tell me what u think. :)
so... let's hit the ground running. "who's on first." ce, yeah, i think guys honestly do not realize that by spending so much time with us/giving us so much attention, they might just be giving us the wrong signals. i dunno if it's cuz a lot of girls come into a friendship wondering if the guy is a "potential". do u think that girls are more inclined to think that way than guys?
but i think u know what i mean, ce, when i say that sometimes u don't even want to start liking the guy but the feelings just come. it's like he grows on u. :) and u didn't intend for this to happen. that's when it's very hard not to start reading more into the guy friend's actions and wondering if he feels the same way, hoping that he does.
am i right here, girls? :) guys, a little insight into girls' minds. :P
personally, i've been hurt enough times to be very careful about this now. i don't blame the guys. cuz a lot of times, it IS the girl's over active imagination and emotions that take over. i've learned to protect myself by kinda blocking it out and telling myself "ok, i'm not even gonna go there. i won't let myself think about that." it works. :)
but at the same time, is there something wrong with that mentality?
i kinda agree with jon that it's almost better to have guy friends who are oblivious than ones who aren't. if being oblivious means that the guy doesn't have underlying intentions rather than just cuz he lacks perceptiveness. :) oh, and jon - why do u say christian girls are better at hidiing it? question: would guys rather know that a girl friend likes them even if it means awkwardness? or would u rather she just keep it to herself?
ok, one last question cuz i've brought up so many already. what the heck. :) let's have a poll here. who thinks it's possible for guys and girls to be best friends and "just friends"? and who doesn't?
alrighty, that's all i have to say today. not all i have to say on the topic, but let's discuss first. :)
Saturday, June 01, 2002
happy birthday (yesterday), matt :)
"being a christian doesn't mean being perfect. it means being honest, being real."
~a matt conversation
he who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.
proverbs 28:13
have a great wkd, guys.
