Thursday, February 28, 2002
a lazy wednesday
i spent most of today sitting at my desk in front of the computer. i was trying to re-organize and back up all my files and uninstall programs i don't use in anticipation of matt's re-installation of windows tmr. yay! :) i can't wait for a faster computer!! it took all day cuz my computer is sooo sloooowww. otherwise i think it would've taken all of a few hours to do. max. [sigh] oh well. perhaps i will reappear on icq soon. :D
so while i was sitting at my desk, re-organizing files and talking to brian, i saw the snow fall. on and off. we've been getting some strange weather. it was bright and sunny this morning, looking like it'd be another nice warm day. and then all of a sudden it started to snow fast and furious in the early aft. and then it died. one interesting thing i noted (ok, perhaps only interesting to me) is that while it was snowing lightly, it seemed like the snow was floating upwards, like bubbles in water floating to the surface. u know what i mean? it was strange!! but then when it snowed harder it looked more like it was falling down. but only kinda. i'm on the 19th floor (well, technically the 18th cuz there's no 13th floor) so maybe snow acts differently when it's up so high. who knows!
anyhoo, i think ange is going slightly crazy studying for her anthro test in the study behind me. she's humming and she hardly ever hums!!
i've been eating lazy for quite awhile cuz i have a mental block that it takes too much time to cook something decent. u'd think that a nutritionist would make the effort to cook every night and eat healthy, eh? well, no sirree! actually - i still try to eat healthy, getting my 5-10 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. and 2-3 glasses of milk! working at jaka's helps cuz i get free food. i eat lotsa garden salad - with egg salad and bacon. mmm.... :9 but sometimes i fall into my spaghetti, soya sauce and sesame oil combo out of laziness. i cooked tonight though - broccoli, rice and see you gie yic (or see yau gie yik, for wongs :P). it was yummy! and it took max 45 min. if i had taken that health behavior change course, i would've had to pick something about my health behavior that i want to change and do a project on it. i would've chosen my eating habits. i bought a really nice cookbook at indigo a couple wks ago with lotsa pictures! so i wanna try some stuff in it. there's even a recipe for the yummy trifle that clara made for matt's party. mmmm....! i wanna make that. :)
i meant to post yesterday after my quiet time, but i was too tired after all my multi-tasking. :P i am getting good at it and being increasingly productive! :D though i still need to work on replying to email. i will write back soon!! i promise. :) incidently, while surfing around stalking ppl, i found another girl who's equally as unproductive as me and likes to lament about it just like i do in my journal! i am not alone!! though i am trying my darndest to overcome it. i WILL overcome! i will not be overcome. :) no more romans 7:15 for me. :D
i've been reading romans for the last looong while and i'm almost at the end. i've been reading about paul and his work, his encouragement and words to live by to the romans and finally his greetings and plans for future visits. romans 15:24 "i plan to do so when i go to spain. i hope to visit u while passing thru and to have u assist me on my journey there, after i have enjoyed ur company." i haven't been talking about what i'm reading and learning in devos in my blog very much and i think i will do more of that in the future cuz it occured to me that perhaps it's not making so much of an impact on me that i would want to write it down or share with everyone other than a certain few. and it also sounds a little like i'm compartmentalizing, but which has minimized in the last few yrs. :) anyhoo, lemme share my thoughts on this passage. when i first read the verse, i was thinking - huh. paul talks about getting/asking the romans for support so matter of factly. very out in the open and not in the mindset that many ppl have of 'i'll just ask for prayer support and God will work in ppl's hearts to give me financial support as well." not so for paul. he was not ashamed! and i think the ppl who supported him felt the same way. that it was a privilege to support paul. and so it SHOULD be. a privilege to support those (both long term and short term missionaries) who are doing God's work in other countries. or even among us!
more to say about money, but i'll do that in a l8r blog cuz i can't stop yawning... in the mean time, go check out our forum on experiencing God. it's a great book. :) i'm learning lots!
btw, will's blogs don't make me barf, but they don't quite make me say "awwww..." either. :P
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
*NEW*
guess what, guess what???? i got a guestbook!!! :D it was shanon's suggestion a loong time ago cuz she wanted to comment on my blogs, but i had no idea how to get a comment link thing working. so instead... i got a guestbk. go sign it! :D u can use it to say hello, air ur grievances, or comment on my ever insightful blogs. [grin] jk. but yeah... use it as a place to comment on what i'm writing, k? k. :) in case u have anything to say. i'm waiting for entries!
no update tonight cuz i'm kinda tired. more tmr!
Tuesday, February 26, 2002
happy birthday, sam! :D
zippidee doo da zippidee day, my oh my what a wonderful day!
i'm not too sure what i should write for today's post. i was thinking of doing a full day update. but then so many things have been running thru my mind lately that i thought maybe i should write those down. but... i haven't journalled about it yet, so they're still a bunch of thoughts floating around in my head.
i finally fell asleep last night around 1 am to the sounds of honking and yelling still outside my window. man, those ppl are crazy! :) and woke up this morning at 10 ready for a full day of studying. i had decided ahead of time to skip all my classes for today in the name of studying. it was a beyoootiful day outside. i haven't been home in the morns in so long that i never get to see the lovely sunshine coming in thru my window. aaahh... so nice. :D i love the sun. it felt like a breezy spring day. perfect for studying. :) it reminded me of april, during exam time, when the weather is nice and everyone's outside studying or at least their res room window is wide open and the curtains are blowing in the breeze... aaah... i love spring weather after a long, cold winter. it's funny how unproductive i've been all wk previous to today and on the day of my test, as always, i can study like my life depended on it. ok... so not quite like that... :P but sooo much more productively. why?? if only i could study like that EVERY day!! then i could do more fun stuff when they come up.
so my test went alright tonight. i think. not super duper good, but ok enough. we were given a pool of 11 test questions b4hand and they were gonna pick one required one, and then 5 others out of which we had to answer 3. i guessed right on which ones i thought the prof would ask cuz i only had time to study like 5 or 6 of them. and all the ones i looked at the most were on the test. phew! :P God was nice to me. [grin]
i came home after my test with renewed energy to be good and productive and never procrastinate ever again. :P after my short conversation with karate kid last night, i am motivated once again. :) so i cleaned my room (like i always do after a test. u can tell i have a test/project/essay due soon whenever my room's a mess. :P), watched ally (i think jon bon jovi is so cute now. :P his character on ally is so sweet! and i think u have to be a certain kinda person to be willing to play that character), read the article for tmr's class, made fan soo tong seu, talked to my mom and then to some ppl on msn/icq. and now i'm blogging! a pretty good night overall, i think.
i had the biggest craving for ice cream on a waffle cone tonight on the way home from my test. and a walk. but i didn't know any ice cream place open that late around here. and i couldn't think of anyone i could grab to go for ice cream on a moment's notice. ange was studying for her test and i thought of shannon, but figured she was probably studying too. i need more ppl who live around here!! to hang out with. :) which reminds me that it's about time i met up with ann.
so we're going to the cpc winter retreat!! i'm excited. :D it'll be shannon, erns, matt and me. yay!! i hope there will still be snow when we get there. shannon and erns are doing children's worship. it sounds like a lotta work and they don't have any other help. :( me and matt are on worship team. i wonder who else is doing it too. we have practise sometime this wkd. i'm very very excited. :D la la la!!
guess what? i might get icq back!! on my own computer!! sometime soon. it's really funny right now cuz i'm talking to matt on msn on my own computer, and then shannon and james on icq on ange's computer. haha. :) cuz ange's being a good girl and studying for her test tmr. i keep having to run back and forth. :) matt's gonna pick up some more hard drive for me and come install it and re-install everything else on my computer for me on thurs b4 we go for dinner with ange. yay!! can't wait. that means i can finally open pics without having to wait for 10 min each!
and now that i am done my test studying and all that, i can finally get back on track with everything. esp eg. i will be good!! ok, someone keep me accountable here with my resolutions cuz i think i am gonna be all talk and no action again. :P it's been 10 yrs of trying to rid myself of procrastination and the only time it's been effective was in first yr when i was scared out of my mind to be behind. but that didn't last for too long. :P and now tonight i was thinking, i wonder if it has to do with my strong type b personality and reconciling that with my desire for productivity. i dunno. anyhoo, i'm off to bed. ready for another great day tmr! :)
~ falling asleep to the smooth tunes of craig david. :) that guy's got some voice!
nite y'all. :D
Sunday, February 24, 2002
yay, canada!!
there's a party goin on outside! :D nonstop honking and screaming since 5 pm. sometimes they break out into song. if i didn't have a test tmr, i'd go join them. :)
Saturday, February 23, 2002
breathe in, breath out... phew.
outside it was a bright, sunny, beautiful day today. inside it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. and it's not even half over yet. the only good thing about today was that i was having an amazing foam milk day. [sigh]
romans 7:24
Friday, February 22, 2002
john 3:30
Thursday, February 21, 2002
home sweet home
we're back from montreal! fun. :) not as much shopping :(, lotsa eating and walking. saw the notre dame, brief look at mcgill, ange got asked to be in a hair show! (rusk, check it out), ate lotsa fruit :D - very healthy. montreal should have more breakfast places!! esp in old montreal. it took us quite awhile to look for food places every morning. slept a lot and even did a bit of studying. :P shopping (or rather, not shopping) made me think ... about my values and style and things like that. interesting. i need to journal. and being in montreal also made me want to be trilingual!!! french is such a cool sounding language. :) je veux parler en francais! overall a fun trip. even though it was short. now i gotta study hardcore for my ob midterm on monday. aiya... plus i gotta work thurs/fri/sat. eek!
today was a good mail day! got a postcard from wongs (cute. :) made me wanna hop on a plane and fly to aachen. hehe. it worked. [grin]) and a cd of pics from my nairobi trip - yay!!! it's about time!! i have one more thing to wait for - a bk from one of the ladies in my mentoring grp, roughing it in the bush. it's about missionaries in canada, i think.
i must confess that i haven't been very good with eg for the last 1.5 wks. i did 2.1 while in mtl, but that's about it. i think posting right after i've done one is a good idea... i'll try that from now on. and where is everyone else? :(
kaitlyn told me about a guy from her work she wants to set me up with when ange and i dropped by at jaka's tonight on our way home with anita and sara. she said she thought of me when she talked to him cuz he's a sweet, nice boy. lol. what is it with ppl wanting to set me up these days? :P my 2nd in just over a wk. i wonder if any of 'em will actually happen. i told her i'd keep an open mind. :D
Saturday, February 16, 2002
boys, boys, boys...
umm.... what is it with boys and their wealth of sports knowledge? i find it scary. do u really know all this or are u pulling it from somewhere? funny how they're so into this.. umm... "discussion".
i had a long talk with matt tonight bout my church issues. [sigh] he has a way of challenging everything i say that is both frustrating and unnerving. but so right at the same time. argh. :P i got lots to process.
my sis says i have 3 more hours of tv to watch b4 i'm completely caught up with dawson's and gilmore girls. :D yay! more tv! [grin] on a sad note, mike told me that they cancelled felicity. :*(
Friday, February 15, 2002
[yawn]
quick one, cuz i need my beauty sleep. gotta work at 9:30 tmr morn.
stalking ppl is fun. what's even more fun is stalking ppl u've heard about but don't know so well. [grin]
it's hilarious how ppl have been commenting on each other's blogs on their own blog. :D poor andrew. hehe.
lol. jesse's blog cracks me up! on my way to school tonight i saw a whole buncha guys walkin around with big bunches of flowers in their arms looking just slightly uncomfortable. heehee.
i talked to my mommy tonight. for a loooong time. :) i hadn't talked to her in like a month. we have quality marathon conversations every so often. :D instead of talking a little bit more often. nature of our relationship, i guess. though i really think i should/want/need to put more effort into this family thing. i've always wanted a big bro/sis to talk to and give me advice and take an interest in my life and be wise. but... i stopped and wondered if i was doing what i wanted to have, for my younger bro and sis. nope. at least not to the level that i would want to have. hmm. gotta do somethin bout that. anyhoo, it was good to be able to discuss my church issues in its entirety for once.
i went to a plenary forum on the canadian and international perspectives of refugee health today. it was interesting. the last speaker talked about all the new anti-terrorism laws that have been legislated in the past while. scary if what she's saying is completely true. then i went to see the crucible afterwards and saw the consequences of what laws like that might really mean. a govt gone haywire. well, justice system anyhow. scary, very scary. janelle was right. the crucible is disturbing. but not in exactly the way i expected.
Thursday, February 14, 2002
everyone and their neighbour!
yay! more ppl with blogs and sites!! check out the new ones on the right. i like jesse's blog. :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
dreaming....
i just got back from CAA. i picked up maps and guidebooks for our trip to montreal next wk. on the way out the door i walked past a wall of brochures for cruises. i couldn't resist - i took one for europe, and one for princess cruises to every other place. it brought back memories of doing geography projects as a kid, making trips to CAA for travel brochures. i'd cut out all the pictures of exotic places ... and even the not so exotic places. :) oh how i longed to see them in person.
our family used to travel a lot more when we were kids. i wonder why we stopped. well, i guess i can't complain cuz i got to go to 4 countries this summer. malaysia was gorgeous. i'd like to go back to LA some day. memories of palm trees and white sandy beaches... santa monica boulevard and the third street promenade. now that was summer! :)
on the way home i remembered the email i got earlier today. from clement, the childhood friend who's going to uganda. well, went. he's there now. what a different world that is. would anyone even dream of travelling there? his detailed email brought flashbacks from this summer... dusty pot-holed roads, rusting mabati (iron sheeting) kiosks painted with colourful ads, red red earth and screaming matatu drivers. who wink and smile when they see you tramping down the street, strikingly different from everyone else.
"where to?", asked the cruise ship captain.
"around the world!!", said the lydia.
:D
highly surveillanced
a couple wks ago, heidy parked in our parking space. when she got here, ange went downstairs and gave her the liberties parking tag. the security at the gatehouse let her in without asking. heidy parked and her and ange took the elevator back up here. the minute they walked into the door, the phone rang, asking if someone had just parked in our parking space. how did they know it was OUR space? and how did they know the exact moment ange would step into the door?
every time i walk by the gatehouse, they wave at me like they know me. last night one of the security ppl walked past ange on the street. he looked at her, smiled and asked "hi, how are u doing?" i swear they have a gazillion cameras all over the place, hidden somewhere. the gatehouse is full of screens, each further sectioned into smaller squares for individual cameras. they must watch intently.
should i feel safe? or should i be scared?
Monday, February 11, 2002
happy birthday, andrew!
Sunday, February 10, 2002
study update
i was good tonight! :) i went to robarts with anita and studied there, then went to country style for another couple hours while she went out.... 6.5 h of studying in total. i'm nowhere near where i want/should be. but that's alright. gonna do my best and persevere in spite of not enough time. :( tonight was good. i forgot how great it feels to do hard core studying and actually accomplish something. :)
i can't wait til wed 11 am! :) that's when i'll be done everything for this wk... and reading wk BEGINS!!! i'm gonna run over to caa and pick up guidebks for montreal. :D we're goin!! well... if anita can get the car from her parents. pls say yes, auntie felicia and uncle wilson! :P i'm workin wed night, thurs/fri morn. gonna go see "the crucible" with amy and some other ppl and 2 girls from my class (mary and ella) on thurs night. janelle said it's .. disturbing! i dunno if i wanna see a disturbing play anymore. :\ i'm all for fairy tales and happy endings. ah well, it'll be interesting. it's better than staying at home on valentine's day. i wanna go out. i haven't been "out" out in ages. i had a strange urge to dress up and go out for drinks and dessert or something tonight. but alas... my bks were calling my name. i'm a bum all the time now. :) anyone wanna go out? i'm goin home fri aft - yay! haven't been home in ages. since christmas. my sis and i are gonna watch "a walk to remember" on sat and go shopping. :) then tentmaking mentoring grp on sat night, back dt, church at cpc.. then off to montreal!! :D can't wait! anita and i gotta get back in time to study for tests. and i think ange might have some projects or something due too. but it'll be a great reading wk all the same! woohoo!
Saturday, February 09, 2002
innocence
i've been stalking ppl again. a total stranger. and i've been walking. a good combination. heh.
as i was checking out kim's site last night, i followed a link to a friend of her's. where i found this:
i can't think of a sexier decade than the 80's. the period exudes the rawest form of teen love and hopeless romance, all without the present day's harsh realities of broken hearts and jaded ideas of jedi soulmates. perhaps it is a delusional and idealistic grasp of an impossible romantic world, but it's a dream that i, personally, wish to be true. these are the days when the most beautiful and wonderfully cute girls were the neighbors next door and not the buxom 22-inch waist girl with the bag of carrot sticks and a vomit bag. these are the days when metal braces were not considered an extension of our television set, but a prized possession amongst only the elite as a fashionable accessory. molly ringwald was the poster girl of what every girl wanted to be- an icon of innocence and virgin beauty; NOT an impossible form of ridiculous silicon and lavish curves. romance was not a after-my-career-is-set priority but an essential part in any teenager's hopeful dreams. love was as pure and innocent as the sitcoms and movies that portrayed it; there is no obstacles of careers and a 6-digit income to worry about.
what happened to lennon's, "all you need is love..."? where is the romance, the dreams, the innocence? why is our teen icon a girl who wants to grow up too fast... too quickly and who's motto in life is, "i'm not that innocent"? sigh...
a lot of ppl's blogs are so... deep. deep in a sort of dark, pensive, dreamworld kinda way. anyhow, the entry caught my attention. and made me think of my condom entry. why i feel the need to have a condom collection. sure, cuz they're just collectables as matt said, but ... there's more to it.
shock value. why the need to shock?
i have this sweet, innocent, goody-two-shoes little girl image. most of the time i don't mind the goody-two-shoes part. other times i really do. i was trying to think back this morning to how and when and why this all began. i think i've got it.
kwcac. my childhood yrs. i had a reputation of being the perfect pastor's daughter. the good girl. who did everything right, said everything right. spiritually above the rest. knew all the sunday school answers. couldn't do anything wrong. i hated it. they treated me like some kind of angel. well... certain ppl. they implied it. the language they used. the comments. i didn't know what it was that i was doing right.... or wrong. i still don't know what it is that i'm doing right... or wrong. maybe i just naturally give off these good girl vibes or something. but i wanted to set them straight. i wanted them to know i was human.... oh so very capable of sinning... not so perfect after all. not so perfect ever.
hence, the condom collection. the other reason for it anyhow. shock value. to lose that sweet, innocent, goody-two-shoes little girl image. but it's sort of a joke cuz everyone knows ... it's just for show. but u know... after reading that blog last night, i think i take it back. i kinda like the sweet, innocent, little girl image. just not the goody-two-shoes part. but.. well... those of u who know me best, know what i'm really like. warts and all. and i guess that's enough.
Friday, February 08, 2002
i should live at the library
i'm so much more productive there. [sigh] 5 more days to go. and i'm nowhere close. to ready. or done.
ange made lasagna for dinner tonight. an experiment. it turned out good! yumm... :9 see? u CAN cook. :) i told u so.
i like to walk. and walk and walk and walk. my mind goes when i walk, the wheels turn. when i stop walking, my mind stops thinking. reflecting. processing. digesting. i lose it. the moment i step into the building. i could walk forever. or work forever. when i do something with my hands that doesn't require thought, my mind starts again. funny.
Thursday, February 07, 2002
my utmost for HIS highest
Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer.
We look for visions from heaven and for earth-shaking events to see God's power...Yet we never realize that all the time God is at work in our everyday events and in the people around us. If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ.
~oswald chambers
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
condom collectors unite!!
last night i was talking to shanonn about my nickname (lyds) and who was the first person to call me that. it was my friend chris, way back in hs. i walked into class one day and he was like - hey lyds, and i guess it just stuck. she asked what my other nicknames were - lydster, sex beast. :D that was from my good friend sam, who liked to talk about sex. we were all sex beasts in diff yrs. :) anyhoo, shannon was like - i can't imagine that. u're such a GOOD girl!! so of course i had to bring out the condom collection. :D for shock value of course. it works. :P but it turns out that she has her own condom collection too! woohoo!! we were comparing what kinds we have: flavoured ones (i have chocolate and banana) and coloured and ribbed and non-ribbed and spermicide ones. i've been to the condom shack a couple times when sam came to visit me in toronto cuz she had to replenish her supply :P, but shannon's never been b4 so we're gonna go sometime! they have a new one at yonge and bloor now. that used to be a cookie store. but i guess condoms are more popular than cookies. from the outside, it looks pretty much the same as the one on queen st. though. nothing special. they had penis pasta the last time i went. imagine that. "what are we having for dinner, mom?" "pennis pasta, honey!" lol. :D
Tuesday, February 05, 2002
hi maria!
anita told me u check every day. :D i'm so honoured! all these ppl that i didn't expect, reading my blog. :) after reading one of kim's entries i thought about why i blog. who i'm writing for. it started out as something for my friends to know what i'm up to even though we dont' talk often. but i've never been one for simply retelling the day's activities (i get bored writing it cuz i know what i've done that day!), so i started writing my thoughts on specific things i've been thinking about. and during christmas, i started writing for myself. i kinda forgot about the ppl reading it and used it as a way to vent sometimes. that's why my blogs vary so much in tone, i think. depends on my mood and the reason i'm writing, etc. and now, sometimes i write to record my thoughts, sometimes to vent, other times to update.
today's an update kinda day.
lots to do in the next wk - a midterm and 3 assigns due mon/tues. none of which i've started. i have 2 assigns due tmr, but i finished them. now onto next wk's stuff. i must persevere! like the wisemen! [grin] i've been getting lotsa headaches lately. at least 3, 4 times a wk and i dunno why. i suppose it might be from stress, but sometimes i don't feel emotionally stressed (even though i mentally know how much i need to do) and i still have them. i try to sleep it off, but then i end up sleeping for longer than i intend to. i've been getting a decent amount of sleep every night usually, but i still feel tired during the day. weird. it's been like this for the past 3 wks or so.
i saw a beautiful mind with shannon and ken last wed. it was good! i've been watching all these movies lately. i've watched more in the last month than in all of last yr already! but then again i think i only watched one last yr - bridget jones' diary, if i remember correctly. in jan i saw ocean's eleven, amelie and a beautiful mind. all really good movies!! just goes to show how things are better when u dont' have expectations. :P jk. i'm going to see the lion king in march! can't wait. :) the music from the commercials remind me of kenya.
we've been doing a lot of tests in class lately - 2 of my courses: principles of effective practice and organizational behaviour. learning a lot about myself. like my learning style - i learn best thru concrete experience and reflective observation (as opposed to abstract conceptualization or active experimentation). which makes me a diverger - good at artsy things, creative, imaginative, have cultural interests and love ppl. i'd say that's half true - i am so not artsy!! or creative. heh. undeveloped culture interests perhaps. and i do love ppl. we also did a type a/b personality test in ob last night. i found out i'm a strong type b. as opposed to strong/clear type a, borderline, or clear type b. type b personalities handle details patiently, are less competitive with others, contemplate issues carefully, less concerned about time limitations, don't feel guilty about relaxing, work at a steady pace and aren't easily angered. i guess that's me. kinda. :D though it means i'm not as driven, less competitive, less devoted to work. ah well!
anyhoo, it's about time i got back to work. ow, another headache coming on. :(
til next time! i'll try not to take so long to post. :)
laytah!
