Thursday, October 31, 2002
i am in such a jacksoul mood.
pensive. morose. lost in thought. far away. brooding.
somedays.
wow, so sad. beautiful.
lost in melancholy.... [sigh]
i love jacksoul.
a couple wks ago, dr. daniel wong, a professor at tyndale, preached a good sermon at presby that i thought i'd share with u guys. he had some good stuff to say and i thought some of u might find it helpful. :)
the courage to change from the inside out
mark 1:35-45
often we are caught up in external things - accomplishments, possessions, the ppl around us, what's going on. but what matters more is what goes on internally - the soul. if we don't pay attention to the inner life, things will spill over into the external. we spend more time in front of the mirror, time with friends, etc. than we do in the presence of God.
jesus gives us an example of communion with God. he spent time with God each morning so that he would have the strength to do the things he had to do during the day. v. 35 - jesus went off to a solitary place. often we can't start our days with time with God - we're not morning ppl, lack of time, etc. but what matters is the priority to spend time with the father. the day previous to the one described in the passage is one of the fullest days in jesus' life. but he didn't sleep in the next day. he got up early to spend time with his father, it was a priority for him to spend time to commune with God.
1. integrate solitude into ur life, being alone with God. this is difficult in a north american society. it's hard to get away from ppl, from sound. we love to be surrounded by sound. "busyness is the anesthetic to an empty life" ~ hendricks. busyness and noise prevents us from hearing God's voice. when we turn up the volume, often it's to turn down our conscience. it's a difficult journey to go inwards, to spend more time with God. all the things we don't want to face come to the surface and we have to deal with those things that we have been trying to hide - the ugliness of our character, ourselves. "without solitude, there is no spiritual life" ~ henri nouwen. it IS hard.. it's like exploratory surgery. but thru this, we meet God at our point of need ... and then we can come out on the other side saying, "i can live as a sinner by the grace of God."
realize that God values time with us. it is not simply a means for us to get spiritual nourishment, but it's a time to enjoy God's presence and for him to enjoy time with us. he delights in spending time with us. how often do we turn away from him, too tired to do devotions b4 we sleep, having put it off all day. and yet.. he's been waiting there the whole day for us to give him some of our time. how it must hurt him so much.
don't just have brief devotions each day. every so often, take an hour out to spend with God. use it as a time to rest, reflect, and listen to God. learn about who u are... who u are in God. on a regular basis, also spend one day apart from everything.
2. fasting (abstaining). fasting shows us what's going on in our lives. u see what u depend on, what controls u - apart from God. fasting is abstention from something for a spiritual purpose. is there something that is distracting u from living for God? try skipping a meal. when u don't eat, it enables u to focus on other things. if food isn't something that controls u, maybe it's something else. icq/msn? ur computer? the internet? music? when u come home, what's the first thing u do - go to ur computer? what is waiting for u there that's so important? try fasting from ur computer, from the internet... and see what happens. how God uses that to speak to u. how it frees u to do other things, to focus on other things.
3. journalling. journalling is a way in which we can be more reflective through recording what's going on in our lives. we don't reflect enough on our own lives, learning from the past, thinking deeper. it allows us to remember the things that we have been praying for, the things we have been thankful for.
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
happy birthday, allan!
OH MY GOODNESS. my genius strikes again. lol.
too bad it only appears on paper. and not when i speak. how unfortunate.
ah well. at least i can write. i'm not complaining! ;)
thank u, God!!
mellow yellow. it's a content, peaceful, happy-with-life kinda mellow.
i've been reading acts 4 in preparation for ccf bible study this fri. here's a passage from it that i really like:
"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus."
After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. Wth great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.
Monday, October 28, 2002
i'm feeling so mellow. what's with that.
happy birthday to carrie and my cousin vicky!
it's been a good day.
had a presentation this morning that went fairly well. it was the food service system of a private food company we visited back in sept. glad to have one complete assignment finally done and handed in. why is it that when i work with other ppl the work always ends up being better? hmm. i'm just not quite as creative and thorough as i'd like to be. gotta work on that. and i never have anything intelligent to say in class either. haha. talking to susannah bout that right now.
spent the afternoon finishing up my paper on inadequate nutritional intakes in the Canadian population and supplement use. still can't recommend that Canadians take multivitamins... in spite of a high prevalence of inadequacy in certain nutrients. the implications are too great. all done and handed in finally. this last minute paper writing has got to stop. it's getting dangerous. i'm blaming it all on u, wongs! haha. not getting stressed and being able to get away with it doesn't help either.
went to "hair of the dog" for dinner tonight. it was our monthly get-together. doug decided to show up this time. :) he's the only guy in our program. so here he was with all the rest of us girls, talking about dates. this one girl, kate, is like dating queen. she's been on 4 dates this past wk and she's also done that speed dating thing. interesting. :) sarah was like - this sounds like an episode out of sex and the city. haha. so anyhow, this hair of the dog place was new to me. but it's super close to my place, on church about 2 min north of carlton. small restaurant and pub, doesn't seat more than 30, 35 ppl max. really good food - everyone was pleasantly surprised with their meal. lotsa swordfish and portabello mushrooms everywhere. and a really friendly gay waiter. :) i think i'll go back. anyone wanna come? on the way to dinner i had an urge to have breakfast while walking past golden griddle. anyone wanna have breakfast with me sometime? haha. do i sound lonely or what? ok, i'm not really. :)
shannon cancelled on me for gelato cuz she had to work on her assign, so angee offered to go. we spent a short while inspecting all the candy in the store yet again. first time for angee though, i think. oh, i forgot to mention that we went hamster shopping on sunday. and she now has a new pet hamster. her name is truffle. though we often call her "it". lol. it eats nonstop. maybe it has something to do with being a baby. do u think? it needs more food? it goes #2 a lot too. haha. it now has a couple our names in addition to "truffle". lol.
i feel like disappearing into a world of anonymity. i think i've been spending too much time alone lately. i love how u can leave ur own life and enter others' when u step into the world of words.
i think i'll take a break tonight. being good can resume tmr.
Saturday, October 26, 2002
my paper has not budged....
i sacrificed 3h+ of work time today to sleep some more cuz i didn't want to get any more sick. brad got over his sickness in 2 days and he was pretty darn sick. cuz all he did was sleep. but now i have this paper to write and not much time left to do it. >.< seeing as i have to work tonight and a possible prestudy meeting tmr. oh well, at least i'm feeling much better. a little less weak and it doesn't hurt anymore when i swallow. and hopefully it'll be a real quiet night at work so i can work on my paper.
it's been a quiet wk. i don't think i went out at all. i just stayed home and did work. it was peaceful. [sigh of content] lots of work to do though. thank goodness i don't get stressed during lots-of-work wks. only b4 when i realize how much i gotta do. lalala. i'm in a good mood. now if only i felt 100% and didn't have to go to work either!
lonely in paris is such a cute song.
it's a good thing scope comes in big bottles.
oh to be intelligent, insightful and eloquent.
*****
i have this big scratch down my forehead. i wonder how it got there. strange.
Friday, October 25, 2002
blech. i'm getting sick. i woke up this morning with a sore throat...and ran to the washroom to gargle with scope. :P i still have this burning feeling in my throat, so i've been popping oranges and vitamin c all day. brad's sick too - much worse than me. he didn't go workout tonight. that's serious. pat told us both to get away from him. lol.
anyhoo, on to happier things.
i had a productive night of work. i think i'm one step closer to being a keener. ;)
****
for the next little while i will be doing lotsa research on body image issues, so u have the benefit of hearing all about it. :)
did u know...
- more than half of teenaged girls are size 13 or larger
- the avg girl gains 25 lbs in body fat during puberty
- 90% of all american girls ages 3-11 own one or more barbies
- 1 in every 11 tv commericals include a direct msg about beauty, these msgs are almost exclusively directed toward women. the msg conveyed is that "the road to happiness is attracting males... by way of physical beautification", "getting a thin body" is the key to getting his body
(from "fat talk" by mimi nichter)
O_o these facts are sorta scary. but brings one to reality. that's the size of the avg girl (ok, not asian girl) - how impossible is it to attain this "ideal" that society has created and put on a pedestal? and it's sad how the whole sex appeal thing is used to attack girls at their weakest point.
here's an article about something jamie lee curtis did back in august this yr. she posed for a session without makeup, stylists, control tops, etc. and in contrast is her picture of how she "normally" looks in photo shoots that took 13 ppl 3 hours to get her to look that way. so... what are we comparing ourselves to??
*****
i love my program. we have great speakers. and angee's sorta right that my program is artsy. :) all we do is read, talk, write and talk some more. but we still are very focused on health and human issues. david caplan (don valley east mpp) and jim russell from the daily break food bank came to speak today about advocacy. jim's talk spoke to me more, so i'll just talk about his. :) he talked about how the food bank got started back in the 70s and what they stand for now. it was originally simply a short term solution to the recession and down turn in the economy. they never intended for it to exist long term. their first purpose was to feed ppl, the second was to eradicate hunger. he said that food is incidental... what they really are using the food bank for is to understand poverty and the needs of the ppl who use the foodbank. social policy is at the core of the work they do.
his talk inspired me and got me thinking. social policy affects our lives so much, and yet most of us take it for granted. including me. we don't get involved in social change, advocacy. we're content to let the powers that be do their thing and the advocacy grps that actually care, fight for their causes. i was reminded of what my international health prof said a couple wks ago - our lives are complicated, busy; but the fact that u are here, sitting in this classroom and caring about issues outside of ur own lives says a lot. (well, he said it much more eloquently. :P but that's the gist.) i was talking to my friend, riah after class and she said that she felt jim was trying to make us feel guilty for not being involved in social change. but she's not about to go do something about things she doesn't have a passion for. i agree with her, but at the same time - how can u just sit back when ppl are going hungry and not being taken care of? how can u not be passionate about that? and then i think about myself... and how i'm so wrapped up in my own complicated (or not so complicated) life. never giving a thought to those outside of my circle of friends and acquaintances. not to the greater society, to the world. do things in my life really matter in the grand scheme of things? they are so simple and insignificant in comparison to war and violence in the world, to hunger and poverty around me. i've been inspired time and again by ppl actually out there effecting social change and being involved in advocacy efforts and working in the international health arena. but i'm still here sitting on my butt doing nothing. so.. i'm speaking to u, but to myself at the same time. i've said this b4 and i'm saying it again.. that i think it's our responsibility as christians to be involved in the things of this world to make change for the better. and not just be immersed in our own personal worlds. so reach out. and help someone.
Thursday, October 24, 2002
Soy N'est Pas Un Perdedor
Being cool isn't all perks, ya know. Have you any idea how hard it is to walk while wearing shades at night?
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
goodbye to you
goodbye to everything
i thought i knew
~mb
"out of sight, out of mind." i hate that phrase. to me, it means that if u don't physically see someone on a regular basis, u forget about them. u don't think about how they are. but just cuz u don't see someone physically, it doesn't mean that u don't talk to them or that u don't have any contact at all. i rarely see brian, but i talk to him on msn all the time. and what i'm talking about are not acquaintances, but friends. good friends. close friends. ur closest friends. that's not how it should be. (ok, i'm venting. hehe.)
angee has convinced me that all circumstances can be explained by the stars. [sigh], the curse of being a libra. we torture ourselves... right, trix? ;)
u know what? i really don't like transition periods. getting used to a new job, a new school yr, a new apartment, a new stage of life. i always wish that it was 2 months l8r and everything is comfortable and familiar. cuz u know it will eventually get there. i remember my first couple days at jaka's and telling terrance how i wished it was a month l8r cuz then i'd already know how to make all the drinks and quit forgetting stuff and making mistakes. but u know... life is all about change... and transition. and in a way, that's what makes it exciting. so maybe i should stop wishing for another time and enjoy this transition period. :)
it's official..... brian is COOL. :D
i went to go visit ange tonight. well... actually to borrow her tcard. i miss living with her... and her artsy ways. i'm too immersed in my science world. gotta stick my head out and smell the fresh air sometimes. :)
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Beast W/ Two Backs
The music for Beast Of Burden fits the lyrics. It's about Mick trying to get some girl to sleep w/ him. He uses cute music and words to mask his desperation in an attempt to charm the clothes off the woman. Or at least maybe she'll sleep w/ him out of pity. Either way, I think it worked.
i like this song, beast of burden. not the words, but the tune. fun, happy, light-hearted. though i dunno why cuz the lyrics and music don't really fit. anyhow, i like it. it reminds me of a movie song. one that would be on "one fine day".. or something like that. erns and shannon were dancing to it at erns' bday party on sat. cute. :)
i am sooo jealous of shannon's new electric piano. it's a yamaha clavinova. just like the one i used to play in jazz band, except.... nicer.
i sent off my resume to world vision. we'll see what happens. God willing... i might be working there in jan.
i wish to focus on God and school. God and school, nothing else. God and school.
i found someone who knows about sports nutrition! i was talking to janelle today after our seminar outlining session. i never knew this, but she has a big interest in nutrition and physical activity. her interests have always been maternal and infant health, and sports nutrition. it's cool, learning about the interests of each of us in the program. mine are international nutriton and body image issues (something i got into recently with my summer placement). i found a whole bunch of books at gerstein lib on body image last night and it is SO fascinating to read up on. i think it's cuz a lot of it has to do with psych and sociology. i've always been interested in the social side of things. prepping for this seminar we are to do will be lotsa fun.
"i know that God's grace is real because it washes me new every day."
~ india arie
i have been holding these words close to my heart:
and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
romans 8:28
sometimes it's harder to forget completely than to live with it.
Monday, October 21, 2002
They Still Got It!
Saturday, October 19, 2002
happy birthday, erns!!!
i've started stalking a couple more ppl. see below. :) reading jensen and viv's blog sounds sorta like talking to cath. haha.
and guess what? i'm back on the train!! in the first class coach this time, mike said. but i think it's too tempting. i'll join him in economy tmr.
i got my first piece of mail at my new condo today! a postcard from wongs from oktoberfest. thanx!! :) i found it on the hall table just as i finished talking to u.
i started reading some past blogs of mine tonight. kinda like reading my own journal. well, i guess that's just what it is! i'm surprised that i had some blogs of substance in the past. :P and it actually reminded me of things that i used to be more passionate about. i think i haven't blogged about anything on my mind lately. not issues and such. i've been lazy - it takes too much time and energy to put my thoughts together to write up a good thought blog. i'll have to do that soon.
anyhow, we didn't get to go to the living room tonight afterall. :( darn work. sorry, anita. :( we'll go next time!!
u know what? i've found that i've been very attracted to msgs of hope lately. no matter what the medium.
i was reading the last of "life together" by bonhoeffer tonight and came across this. i thought it was interesting.
In confession a man breaks through to certainty. Why is it that it is often easier for us to confess our sins to God than to a brother? God is holy and sinless, He is a just judge of evil and the enemy of all disobedience. But a brother is as sinful as we are. He knows from his own experience the dark night of secret sin. Why should we not find it easier to go to a brother than to the holy God? But if we do, we must ask ourselves whether we have not often been deceiving ourselves with our confession of sin to God, whether we have not rather been confessing our sins to ourselves and also granting ourselves absolution. And is not the reason perhaps for our countless relapses and the feebleness of our Christian obedience to be found precisely in the fact that we are living on self-forgiveness and not a real forgiveness? Self-forgiveness can never lead to a breach with sin; this can be accomplished only by the judging and pardoning Word of God itself.
Who can give us the certainty that, in the confession and the forgiveness of our sins, we are not dealing with ourselves but with the living God? God gives us this certainty through our brother. Our brother breaks the circle of self deception. A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person. As long as I am by myself in the confession of my sins everything remains in the dark, but in the presence of a brother the sin has to be brought into the light. But since the sin must come to light some time, it is better that it happens today between me and my brother, rather than on the last day in the piercing light of the final judgment. It is a mercy that we can confess our sins to a brother. Such grace spares us the terrors of the last judgment.
good nite :)
Friday, October 18, 2002
it's official. i'm delinquent. >.< >.< >.< i guess i'm "hooligan girl" for a reason. [sigh] so disappointed in myself. mike - help, help!! i can't get back on the train!! don't pass me by!!
40 Licks
In a matter of hours I will be inside the SkyDome watching THE ROLLING STONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
happy birthday, richard!!
blah. this paper is going nowhere!! it's gonna be a long night. O_o
Thursday, October 17, 2002
happy, happy, joy, joy! i'm in such a good mood, i don't know why! :) i think it's to contrast ange's sad mood. :(
things are good, friends are good, life is good, school seems manageable. in general, i feel like being positive. :) i could get used to this. :)
but i better get crackin on work cuz i have a paper due tmr that i have yet to start. :O
lookin forward to a full wkd of work, play and studying!
i finally live in a clean condo! kinda.
our landlady came by this morning while we were all out and left us a note - clean up!!
so after my 4 h nap this aft, i cleaned the entire kitchen and scrubbed parts of the washroom. it's all sparkly clean now! :) brad came home and promised to do the rest after his workout.... and we're not even the ones making the mess! >.< ... i think we'll leave the tub for pat. :P
ok, time to get started on that paper. i hope it's a piece of cake. i wanna be in bed by 3 am!
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
anita and angee came over last night for cake and presents!! thanx, girls!!! :) so sweet. i had a good birthday all in all. :) u can always count on ur girl friends! :)
hey anita... u are sooo NOT a cougar! lol!! what happened to that one yr age limit? ;)
angee: "i want u to love me" by letters to cleo is getting lotsa playing time on my list right now. ;) another one of those "sad" songs in disguise. :P gotta love 'em!
happy birthday, anita!!!
happy birthday, sarah!
happy 9 yr anniversary, jack & kat. :)
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
Hope makes today possible and tomorrow attractive, or at least less threatening. Hope makes death bearable...hope is the mainstay of our energy. We go forward - because we hope.
~Arthur Jones
never underestimate the power of hope.
here's a a beatles song that brian wants played at his wedding. i really really like the lyrics.
In My Life
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
there is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
btw, pls don't steal brian's idea and play this song at YOUR wedding cuz brian would be upset with me. :P
i so feel like ange:
"I'm finding it so hard to concentrate!!! I MUST DO WORK~!!!! I can't afford the time to do anything else~!!! ... i know, I know, if i use my time more wisely, I'll be out partying right now... I don't really have a point to this, just feel like blogging/whining....keekee :P"
doh.
i've been listening to "i will be here" by steven curtis chapman all day. i think i've found a possible song to sing at my friend's wedding. :) i love the words. go see hollyholz's blog for them. i'm too lazy to link it. :P
i've had lotsa time to relax lately. it's been great. had a long phone conversation with lill this morn - she called from hk and we had a great chat. :) i miss u so much, girl! i wish u were still in canada so we could hang out all the time.
lord jesus, pls give me faith in better things to come.
Monday, October 14, 2002
happy birthday to tree, trish... and meee! :D
i feel so loved!! and it's only been a couple hours of my bday so far! :) thanx guys, u're the bestest friends a girl could have! :)
i'm chattin with lill about hypothetical questions (like, what would u do if i called u and told u that i had just killed someone?), brian about favorite foods, and amy about ice cream makers. :) we had da been loe tonight at home to celebrate me and nate's bdays. i feel like ice cream cake... haven't had that in yrs! we used to have nothing else but that when we were kids. we always demanded ice cream cake! haha.
Sunday, October 13, 2002
happy thanksgiving, everyone! :)
it feels like christmas.
a big celebration. kids going home for the holidays, bags stuffed full with laundry and books. big dinners - lotsa guests and cooking up a storm. family days. ppl going away to see friends and family. a generous feeling in the air, smiles on strangers' faces, lots to be thankful for. all we're missing is snow. :)
i think this feeling all started on friday afternoon when i was walking home from school. i saw students walking around with big knapsacks and duffel bags, happily on their way home for the wkd, wherever home was. i saw pauline as usual, every friday afternoon, sitting outside of harvey's, only a few steps away from the front door of the condo i call home. she's a lady i met almost a month ago, who panhandles as a way to make ends meet, not getting enough from welfare to feed herself, her husband and their 8 month old baby boy. i had met her in an unusual way, with matthew 25 running thru my head. i stopped for a chat cuz i hadn't talked to pauline in quite awhile, usually only seeing her on my way to school, always in a rush. she told me excitedly about her husband going back to school, how he was learning to read, and how one day they would be able to live comfortably - memories of the streets and resorting to panhandling becoming only distant ones. as i squatted beside her, listening to her chatter, a well-dressed lady hurried up to us and exclaimed how glad she was to see pauline still there. the lady pushed neatly folded $20 bills into pauline's hand, saying that she had been to the bank machine, and also pulled out a small package of dried fruit for her to munch on. pauline gasped with joy at the generosity of this woman, giving her a hug, and i couldn't help but be taken aback as well. after the lady left, pauline explained that that lady had known her since the time she was on the streets, pregnant. she had taken care of her, buying her food and vitamins, making sure that both pauline and her baby were in relatively good health. i was so surprised at this lady's love and generosity. she was obviously fairly well off herself, judging from the clothes she wore. i praised God for ppl like her. with smiles in our hearts, pauline and i hugged and parted ways, excited to start the long wkd with the spark of hope this lady had ignited in both of us.
maybe that's why it feels like christmas.
Saturday, October 12, 2002
happy birthday, jon! :)
why do i feel so out of touch with ppl lately? i dunno. [sigh]
u know what? there are so many coffee shops in my area. a tim horton's, starbucks and baroli all on the corner of yonge and college and then a 2nd cup right across the street from me. i went to 2 of them in just one day yesterday - with carny, and then with ann at night. sometimes, i think the best conversations happen in coffee shops. :)
i skipped ccf tonight cuz i've been so overwhelmed and consumed with work lately... i needed the extra time to work. but first shannon and i went to go get nabeyaki. she tried it and thought it was good... but not as good as i had been describing it. :) i think it's just comfort food for me and that's why i love it so much. she came over afterwards for ice cream and prayers and we had a good extended chat about guy histories and life stories in general. haven't had that sorta conversation in a looong time. it was sorta therapeutic. thanx for humouring me. ;)
they've been filming a bud light commercial across the street from us all evening. searchlights and extras and big signs and everything. they were rocking a bus for quite awhile and making some racket. i've got the perfect view, so shannon and i were watching them, mesmerized by the searchlights for awhile. :P it's finally done!
ps. i'll comment on the article l8r. too tired to think right now.
Friday, October 11, 2002
an article from the star.
i'll comment l8r.
foodBYTES
hey guys, check this out!! it's finally up!! this is what i worked on all summer with the mhsc girls. good tips for anyone who wants to eat healthier. :)
speaking of which.... justin is the best "client" a dietitian could ever have!!!! he is SO INCREDIBLY motivated!! i gave him an assignment this past wk to do and he's already exceeded all my expectations - wow!!!! if he keeps up this pace, he'll be eating sooo much healthier in no time at all!!! and lose a ton of weight. ;) so exciting. :D
pat cooked up a storm tonight! he was trying out this recipe that he saw bob blumer (the toaster van guy on the foodnetwork) make the other night - potatoes with rosemary and garlic. mmm... it smelled so good while he was cooking it. ok, i believe that pat can cook now! :) he's got this thing with onions and green and red peppers. he puts it in EVERYTHING he cooks. i swear. even those potatoes. i didn't believe how good of a cook he was b4 cuz all he would ever make was pasta with onions, green and red peppers and tuna. i'm like - tuna?? ewww!! i hate canned tuna. :P so yeah. even the chicken breast he fried up tonight looked good... brad walked in and said - yo, emeril! lol. :) u know what one of my favourite smells is now? cooking with olive oil. it's an acquired smell. :)
Thursday, October 10, 2002
My Parents
2 areas in which my parents are not your typical Chinese Parents either.
1. Middle Names. My middle name is not my Chinese name. It's Jonathan.
2. Hot Water. My parents do not keep hot drinking water readily available in one of those Chinese hot water despensing thermoses.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
brian, lol!! ok, i finished my entry from b4. :)
tonight was interesting. we had yet another missions committee meeting. we've met 3 times already in the last month. going thru some big decisions and rebuilding our vision and strategy. it's been cool. it's also been cool spending time with the older ppl on missions committee, ppl like henry and winston. henry gave me a ride to judy's house tonight, so i met him at his house in the annex area. he's such a proud father. :P he called his wife to bring out their baby, benjamin, so i could meet him cuz i had never seen him at church b4. what a cutie!! all smiles. :) and lotsa hair! he's such a big baby - only 6 months, but he looks like he's at least 8 months!! our talk on the way to the meeting consisted of schooling and parenting ideas. so funny. :) winston (karina's dad in case u didn't know :) is so cool! such a wealth of wisdom and insight. :) he's great. even b4 i met him at church, i always remember walking in and he'd be there singing with a big smile on his face. :D he's got lotsa energy too. he's retired, but still works 2 jobs!!! one at tyndale and another at knox college. yikes. anyhow, i really admire him! now if only i could get to know some of the ladies at church. :)
her parents (con't)
2. dating. they're willing to let her date white boys.
happy birthday, fi :)
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
my parents
recent talk about parents and their expectations in general have reminded me of how my parents are different from other chinese parents in 2 areas. and for these i am very grateful. i've always appreciated how my parents don't have expectations in these things and instead, give me the freedom to explore and figure out these things on my own.
1. career. most chinese parents have high expectations for their kids to become a professional - a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc. my parents have always given me the freedom to choose what to study, never having any expectations for me to become a professional and earn lots of money. they were never concerned about "what i wanted to be when i grow up". my career aspirations have changed over the yrs from wanting to be a secretary, a pediatrician, an archaeologist, a forensic scientist and now a nutritionist working overseas in relief and development. my parents have never demanded that i change what i want to do, but instead my mom often suggested ways for me to learn more about the field and gain experience. i admit that when i told my parents i wanted to get into relief and development, they were a little skeptical, wondering if this was just another phase i was going thru. but i think after 2.5 yrs, they are pretty convinced that this is what i have a heart to do when i finally get out of school and into the "real world".
2. dating. i can honestly say that my parents have never asked me when i will have a bf.... unlike other parents i've heard of. :) i appreciate that. no pressure. i guess they trust God to bring the right guy into my life at the right time. more faith than i have. :P instead, my mom has asked why i have so many close guy friends and thinks i should have more girl friends instead. :P she was concerned that the guys' gf's would be wondering what's up, but i reassured her that the majority of my guy friends are single and like other girls, so i'm "safe". that's when gabe quoted me right back at myself, "i think i'm too naive." lol.
happy birthday, matt!
happy birthday, sara!!
[yawn] time to be a keener.
Monday, October 07, 2002
yummeeee....
i've been describing my favourite dish at tokyo grill to steve for the last 15 minutes, so i feel the need to blog about it. :P i had nabeyaki udon for dinner tonight and i am soooo craving it again now!! lemme describe it for u here, so will start drooling too. ;) i've already made ange start craving it (i'm over at her place reading right now.... steve's coming over to eat pasta!).
nabeyaki udon... in full colour:
chewy udon noodles.
in a savoury fish broth.
with flavourful spinach, seaweed and green onions
a large piece of shrimp tempura soaked in broth for just the right amount to remove the oil yet retain the original crispiness.
a bright yellow egg poached so that the warm centre oozes out when u poke it
3 half moon slices of fish paste rimmed with pink, not quite like the taste of fishballs - sweeter and purer.
a shitake mushroom that serves as a treat at the end of the meal cuz it is so sweet and chinese mushroom flavourful-ish.. mm.. the best part.
there u have it... my beloved nabeyaki udon!
Sunday, October 06, 2002
short blog cuz i just got home from jaka's only like half an hour ago. O_o and i'm beat!!
but wanted to leave u with something....
"one of the most important things i've learned about living the christian life is that it's never about me."
~ s.c.
Saturday, October 05, 2002
happy birthday, katrin!
randomness
1. good times at ccf tonight. i've been finding such joy in studying God's word lately. so much good stuff, so profound, so much strength. met lotsa young 'uns. :) i love their energy. esp allison. :) lotsa laughs at kowloon - garway and raymond sure have a strange friendship. :D
2. i ran into another long lost friend tonight!!! maxine from first yr res. it's been sooo long. she lives at polo club i now!
3. first nutrition counselling session with justin tonight.... i actually feel like i know something. and i can't believe he appreciates it so much. :P
4. ok, 4 ppl so far have told me that i've lost sooo much weight!! ange, ce, tree and max. i'm like - but i haven't!!!! what is going on? :P
5. God uses painful experiences in wonderful ways... i've been able to connect with some ppl cuz of things i've experienced. praise God that we can share our struggles and joys and experience the lord's faithfulness together.
6. mike and i are gluttons for sadness.
7. james dai, love that song on ur page. i'm doing the refreshing thing again. ;) big big [hug] goes out to u, bro. just cuz.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
my roommies are so hilarious. :D
on wed night i stayed at jaka's after work to do some serious studying b4 letting myself go home and watch gilmore girls. i got home a little after 9 pm and just as i walked in the door, brad goes - yo! dawson and joey are making out!! i'm like - whaattt?? where's my gilmore girls?? turns out that it was the 2 h season premiere of dawson's, so no gg last night. :( but i watched the 2nd episode of dawson's and it was soo hilarious with brad giving me and pat the commentary all through it. :P brad was watching in his room on his computer, but i convinced him to come join us in the living room cuz he was shouting comments from his room. lol. apparently dawson was making all the moves that brad makes with girls - i'm like, dude, so cheeese!!! hahaha!!
we had another night of tv bonding tonight watching friends and scrubs. :) what a quirky show!! seriously, all pat does is sit in front of the tv and flip. waah... nice life. :) oh to be able to do that! not that i would want to, but the fact that he has nothing to do but that is appealing. :) brad just went out and was asking me for advice on his belt b4. lol. i guess that happens when u're the only girl around. :) all i ever see him in is his workout clothes, so it was so weird seeing him wearing normal clothes! haha! and the occasional time when i see him all dressed up for work (he works at td securities doing stock stuff) it's really weird!! pat is so crazy about ice cream. :P i went to go get some from the freezer and asked if anyone else wanted some. pat's like - YES!!!! lol. we seriously gotta go to greg's sometime. he's an ice cream fanatic!
Grace
Grace is love, but love of a special sort. It is love which stoops and sacrifices and serves, love which is kind to the unkind and generous to the ungrateful and undeserving. Grace is God’s free and unmerited favour, loving the unlovable, seeking the fugitive, rescuing the hopeless, and lifting the beggar from the dunghill to make him sit among princes.
~ John R.W. Stott, Understanding the Bible
God's been moulding and shaping me an awful lot lately and this afternoon he spoke to me about grace. less of me, more of him.
here's an excerpt from the article i linked to above. it's from "lessons in grace" in boundless.
Grace, I finally understood, is not something that’s warm and fuzzy, at least not to the giver. Grace is bitter, painful, lonely, often costing your pride and your dignity and giving little back to you in return. And God reminded me that it was in times like this that He was answering my prayers to be like Him. Christ drank of this bitter cup, and now it was my turn to follow in His steps. I was forgiven, and I had little choice. So I forgave.
He must become greater; I must become less.
John 3:30
lord, teach me to extend grace to those around me, just as u have extended grace to me.
i'm feeling kinda crappy tonight, so i don't wanna blog much. i just wanna share a passage with u from nahum that i read earlier today. i like the imagery of God's character in it.
Nahum 1:3-7
The Lord is slow to anger and great in power;
the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished.
His way is in the whirlwind and the storm,
and clouds are the dust of his feet.
He rebukes the sea and dries it up;
he makes all the rivers run dry.
Bashan and Carmel wither and the blossoms of Lebanon fade.
The mountains quake before him and the hills melt away.
The earth trembles at his presence,
the world and all who live in it.
Who can withstand his indignation?
Who can endure his fierce anger?
His wrath is poured out like fire;
the rocks are shattered before him.
The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him.
after an extremely long vent with ange (thanx, girl :) and a chat with hollyholz about happy thoughts, i'm reminded of what is becoming a verse i strive to live by:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33
it's a long, hard journey. but jesus never said it would be easy. the joy of the lord is my strength.
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
hurray, it's october! ... that means birthdays galore!! :)
Rock'em Sock'em
Let me get this straight. They pay Don Cherry $700K to flap his arms and quack like a duck and they won't give Ron MacLean $600K? He's Hockey Night In Canada's voice of sanity for crying out loud. He should get double what Cherry gets. But I'm not going to whine about bringing him back. I'd rather see MacLean go to TSN and join hockey's premier genius, Bob McKenzie. Forget Hockey Night In Canada. This is a chance to start a new tradition w/ a new jingle, 'cuz if MacLean and McKenzie are teamed up, I'm watching! Problem is, TSN, says that they aren't in any talks w/ MacLean. Ah, doesn't matter, he'll be back w/ HNIC anyway. I mean, does anybody remember the show Grapes tried to do w/o Ron MacLean? The one he did out of his bar? Don Cherry's Grapevine? How many people watched that? Yeah, that's what I thought.
i want to believe in the good in ppl.
it makes the pain a little more worthwhile.
at least i can rest assured that GOD knows what he's doing.
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
happy birthday, nate! yesterday.
ok, so even though i gotta wake up super early again tmr morn, i'm still up waiting for pat's laundry to be done so i can put mine in. so i might as well do some blogging.
1. guess who i saw last wk???? my long lost friend teresa ho!!!! i hadn't heard from her in over 1.5 yrs other than a fwd from a world vision email address (which made me wonder what she was up to, though it could've be anything cuz she's the adventurous type), so i had written her off as possibly never to be seen again. but on thurs aft, i went to a talk on the international perspective of the determinants of popluation health and who did i see??? none other than her!!! i walked in the room, looking for a seat and there she was looking at me shocked and dumbfounded!!! the talk had already started, which prevented me from screaming and jumping up and down for joy. :P tree is one of my good good friends from trin res. we hung out in 2nd yr when my closest first yr res friends had deserted me and she had decided to move in for a yr to experience res life even though she lives in north york. i love her. she is so blunt and honest, it's great!! :D that is totally a common theme in the majority of my closest friends. hehe. the rest of them are sweet. :) a good balance. anyhow, it was SO GOOD to see tree again!!! the last time i saw her was almost 2 yrs ago when she had just come back from a summer of working in israel and travelling in egypt. this time, she had spent her yr after grad in honduras.... get this... doing the very internship at world vision that i want to do!!!!!!!! how amazing is that?? now she's back, picking up courses at ut that she needs to get into the mhsc health promotion program, another stream of the masters program that i'm doing right now. so... there's hope for me yet. :) i'm just doing it the opposite order of her. and i might get to go to senegal after all!!
2. wongs talked about a campaign run by the daily bread foodbank last wk. my prof mentionned it in class. she was invited to be a panelist on the michael koran show (is that how u spell his name? i've never heard of this guy b4.) my prof is valerie tarasuk. she's great. she does research on food security, social issues and policy at ut. so she was telling us about this campaign where politicians and media ppl are challenged to live on the amount that a person on welfare would get after deducting rent and other expenses like phone line. she said it worked out to about $20/wk. she was invited to participate in the campaign, but the reason she didn't is cuz she thinks she can do it - live on $20/wk and still eat nutritionally adequately. and i think u can too. she was talking about taking supplements and then filling up on other things. but the problem comes when unexpected things happen. u're so tight on ur budget that u don't have money to spare to save up for emergencies. what if u get sick and need medication? what if u need some kinda treatment that's not covered by ohip? what if u have an appliance that needs fixing? what if u need a new pair of shoes? what if's. that's when u have to take money from ur food buget and then u don't have enough to eat. valerie has an interesting view on a lot of food security issues. for example, she doesn't believe in food banks cuz she says they're not helping things in the long run. they're actually perpetuating the problem. anyhow, this is a really interesting campaign. i wonder what will come of it.
3. so i have been educated on the basics of football! thanx to my 2.5 best friend. what a game it was on sunday night - when we left einstein's it was still going on 45-10 for the seahawks!! and that was just up to half time. alexander was amazing! 5 touchdowns!! and more? i dunno... i went to bed b4 the game ended. the seahawks were smoking the vikings. :D culpepper stinks! who was he throwing to??! lol. so now that i understand the game of football.... i will supposedly better understand life.
4. some stuff has been going on at work lately. pride and egos and politics getting in the way. [sigh] it's kinda hard being in the middle of it, knowing both sides of the story, but either side not really knowing that i do. weird. but anyhow, i'm really gonna miss those korean boys. :( they made work lotsa fun. :)
5. anita and i went cd shopping last wk and i got the new india arie cd. i love her music, it's so good for the soul. matt and i were listening to some old boyz ii men at work tonight. [sigh] more soul music. :) good stuff.
anyhoo, my clothes are in the dryer and drying away. time for bed!
