Wednesday, July 31, 2002
what a good last 24 h. :)
it's amazing how much more work i can do at HOME compared to at WORK. something is wrong here!!! i rarely go in anymore. hehe. do u miss me, susannah and phong? ;)
a talk steph and i had this past wkd was a good reminder of how we should view life, esp in light of all the recent sudden deaths. steph was sharing about how someone at her friend's viewing said that we shouldn't assume that the life we live will be for 70 yrs. what a basic statement. but how often do we think of it that way? we take for granted that we'll wake up the next morning, we assume we'll see our friends and family again. each day is a gift from God. each yr that we live is something to treasure. we should be celebrating life each day that we are alive! :) and when someone passes away, be grateful that God gave them that long of a time on earth to share with us.
my dad's coming home from venzuela tonight!!! i can't wait to hear stories. :) and i get to say bye to clara.
ok, off i go to run run run!
Tuesday, July 30, 2002
i found a whole new world of blogs!! i mean... xangas. :) lalala and tomato stealer :D
Sunday, July 28, 2002
it's been a good wkd of seeing ppl. i realize more and more how bad i am at keeping in touch with ppl after they've become a "friend of the road." but then again, some "friends of the road" aren't really meant to be friends of the road, it was just ur own fault that u didn't make the effort to keep in touch. well, i've been seeing some ketchup friends more often lately, and it's been really good. it just takes more work. and i guess that's where i've been lazy. it's so easy to isolate urself and only hang out with a very small grp of ppl, esp if u're not super involved in things like ccf or church. i hadn't had a regular grp of ppl to always hang out with since 1st yr univ, so this past yr was something different. something good. and something i really missed. in hs it had been the praylude bunch that always went out together, and my hs girls with parties and stuff. then in first yr univ it was my res friends. b4 wongs left for germany, it was his crew. this past yr it's been matt and ange. sometimes when u don't have a regular grp of friends, but friends from all over the place, u feel like u're being pulled in a bunch of diff directions. i wish i could get all my friends together and have them all meet each other and become friends. :)
another thing i've noticed lately is how completely diff ppl of the same age can be. a lot of times it's cuz of their life experience, other times... it's just their personality or even the way i perceive them. they're always stuck in my memory that way. i've seen a range this wkd. for example, shannon is 5 yrs younger than me (yikes! :P), but i'd say she's a really close friend and when i'm with her, i don't think of her as younger. she's really mature for her age in the way she thinks and acts. then there's nate. he's 2 yrs younger than me, but he's grown a whole lot and changed so much in the last 4 yrs. i think of him as much more mature in the way he thinks. alan is also 2 yrs younger, but he'll forever be my little brother just cuz i've always thought of him that way, caring for him in a younger brother kinda way. (but i don't think of caring for my "real" bro in that way. hehe. he's a big boy. :P more like a friend than a bro, i guess.) then there's sarah that i saw this wkd, my hs friend. we had lunch at her apt with scott, her fiance. and i think about her life and career. in a way she seems so much older than me. than how i see myself, and where i am in life. there's still some "little kid-ness" to me. :) i dont' see any of that in sarah. u know who i think is cool? :) loralye from gilmore girls!! i really like her character. she's a mom, so she's independent and motherly and responsible. but she's also fun and crazy and silly. she can look good in suits (i can't yet, too loe-jic :P), but normally wears funky tshirts and stuff when she's not at work. she's still got lotsa youth to her. i like that!!
well, that's all my deeper thoughts for the wkd. :P here's what i've been up to!
[friday]
i went to go pick up something from sarah (another one from univ) at her work. she works at fcpmc, a food company assocation. i got to see lotsa products that are allowed in the states, but not in canada for one reason or another. mostly cuz of diffs in regulation. cool stuff!! dorcas and i went shopping at stc. i'm getting so bored of that place. we didn't really buy much at all, but i saw 2 dresses that i thought were possibilities. i couldn't make up my mind though and dorcas wasn't being much help :), so i dragged matt to stc after he was done work. but the black dress that i was leaning more towards was gone!! :( sadness. all within a few hours. they only had one of my size left in each. [sigh] ah well. so much for dress shopping productivity. i went off to have dinner with bernie and alan at congee wong, but there were too many ppl as expected, so we went to the overflow chiu chow restaurant instead. we ran into jeremy and enoch at congee wong! i hadn't seen enoch in forever. sometimes i wish we could hang out with them more. they're our closest cousins in toronto, but we usually only get together at family dinners. dinner was fun. :) we didn't wanna leave but they kept asking us if we wanted our food wrapped up (hehe) so we headed over to alan's house. chuck was home. yay! :) so we chilled and talked. afterwards, matt and i went to get bubbles with his sis, agnes, cuz she was having a craving. :P and i haven't paid for bbt in awhile. :) then off to elaine's party we went, where i met elaine! and cheech! now i know who she's talkin about in her blogs. :) there was a buncha ppl karaoking, so we joined 'em. lotsa fun and fun-ny stuff. :) yay for tools! [grin] dennis and i were both like - hmm... we don't know anyone here! but it was fun anyhow. though... hmmm.... dennis isn't really a tool - it doesn't count if u're actually going out with the person, right? ;) we went back to matt's and watched lord of the rings after the party. i finally saw it. :) good movie - very cool effects and scenery and stuff, i have to say. but i'm still not into fantasy. :) all those freaky shrieks and scary eyes. eek! i had to hide. :P phew, what a night. :)
[saturday]
i got up early. i had an appt to see sharon again to get my new contacts!! :) then off to kitch i went to see sarah. she made a yummy lunch for us and we got to chat a bit. i heard about her wedding plans, but we still gotta figure out the music thing. we couldn't stop talking about food either. :) haha. after awhile i had to say, ok, we can stop talking about this now!! even a nutritionist gets tired of talking about food once in awhile. or rather, i feel like i'm making ppl talk about a topic they don't necessarily have that much interest in. though that's not always true!! after lunch we went to downtown waterloo to look at all the new crafty stores that had opened. the paper tree is really cool!! i miss living in kw. u don't have to travel as much to get to good stuff. sarah and scott had a family dinner thing to go to, so i went to go find wayne. we went to the new pho in dt kitch and talked for quite awhile. good thing the place was big enough, so they didn't hafta kick us out. :) wayne and tim are on this low carb diet cuz they both wanna lose weight. nonono! :D i am definitely not a fan of the low carb diet. carbs are good!! u just gotta choose the right kinda carbs - high fibre. i told him to just eat less fat. that would make a big diff. but his much more vegs and fruit thing is really good. man, it's been such a long time since wayne and i have talk talked. like 2 yrs!! we both agreed that things are diff cuz wongs isn't around anymore. he was the glue that held everyone together. :P always calling up ppl to go out and made sure they came out! hehe. ppl were jamming at kwcac afterwards, so we headed over to see what was going on. we played around for awhile with andrew w, nathan t and anita k. gladys had her arct recital b4 that, so some ppl were up for it - like vince and shuk-ka. too bad ppl didn't stick around for long, they had to go study. boo. :P
[sunday]
arthur preached a good sermon this morn on being spirit-filled. he used the passage from eph 3:13-21 (i think. :P gotta db check). many christians are discouraged, tired. genuine christians. why? cuz they're not fully filled by the spirit. and how do we become spirit-filled? completely yield to christ. 100%. do only what he asks u to do, but do all that he asks. good msg. i need all the reminder i can get about full surrender. [sigh] sunday school was interesting. we set up the tabernacle in the fellowship hall and re-enacted the day of atonement. what a cool idea! :) it totally helps to make it stick. steph came for sunday school. yay! :) we went out for lunch to taste of japan with holly, karen and doreen afterwards, then off to pacific for real fruit bbt. mmmm!!! i've heard so much good stuff bout "food jungle". no tea taste though. interesting. maybe it's just pureed fruit. and the bubbles are kinda soft. hmm... i'm such a connoisseur. ;) i dropped steph off at bowling, then came home and crashed. major tiredness!!
i've been getting emails from my dad in venezuela on his missions trip. it's kinda weird reading about him there. i dunno. :)
anyhoo, time to go!! u're super duper if u've stayed with me this far. :) yay for u! :D
Thursday, July 25, 2002
blessings
it's time for an update blog! :) the one u've all been waiting for!! [hip hip hurray! hip hip hurray!]
soo.. how has life been. very very good! in spite of busyness and a bit o' stress n' all, i've been blessed time and time again. today was a fun day at work, playing with babies and prepping for my exercise program next wk. less prep to do this time cuz i've already done one b4. angie's going to a wedding in thunder bay this wkd, so i gotta leave earlier than usual and i'm taking tmr off too! :) to go dress shopping with my sis for all these weddings and stuff!! craziness. speaking of dresses, ann called me earlier and she's found our bridesmaid dresses!! woohoo!! :) i can't wait to see it. she's gonna pick one up for me tmr. yeelee found 'em at la femme carriere. i've never actually walked into that store b4 cuz i never quite saw myself as a femme carriere. :P but i shall own a dress from there now! what fun! they were on sale for half price. wow! yippee! i'm so excited. :) and apparently it's one of those dresses u can wear often cuz it's a summery dress. none of that too-formal-to-wear-except-on-special-occasions type stuff. very practical! good stuff. except 4 other girls will have the exact same dress. hehe. oh well! i'm so excited!! did i say that enough? [grin]
in other wedding news, guess who's getting married???????? anita, i finally went to go see sharon earlier this wk. :) had a good chat with her and caught up a little bit. she told me all the latest news of kwcac ppl. faith is in NEW BRUNSWICK. O_o whoa!! apparently she got a big job there, something to do with coordinating hospitals and stuff. i had no idea!! oh yes, oh yes - and the person who's getting married is.... jimmy young!!! noooo way!!! he's getting married may 17th next yr!!!! haha. i guess there is hope after all. [grin] for those of u who don't know, jimmy is my old sunday school teacher. fun guy! :) he goes to scac now. i saw him a couple months ago when kaitlyn and i went to check out scac. so that makes 4 weddings to go to next may - may 3, 17, 23, 24. ok, who wants to have theirs on the 10th? then it'll make may the official wedding month for next yr! :) i'm going to see sarah babe on sat. it's been soo long since we last had a good chat. she's been really busy with all the crazy things that accountants put themselves thru. hehe. we're gonna discuss what i'm gonna sing/play at her wedding next may. it shall be interesting! i need help!! training is more like it. heh.
shannon and i met up last night for one last good sharing/prayer time b4 she heads back to edmonton for the rest of the summer. good talks, good thoughts. :) if only we were sane and *rational* all the time. [sigh] have a good time at home, hun. i will miss u lots. :) do some vegging for me!
i've been reminded that i have lots and lots of friends who love me. :) no need to feel like i've imposed loneliness upon myself. u know, i've discovered that a lot of ppl feel lonely. but u know, there's no reason to feel that way. all u've gotta do is take the initiative to call up an old friend, or someone u've recently met and build that friendship. i think it's all about taking initiative and showing that u care. there are probably lotsa ppl out there sitting around thinking - i don't have many friends, i'm so lonely. if all of us sat around thinking that, we'll always feel lonely! so get out there! :) i had a chance to reflect last night on how much i've changed in the last 5 yrs... and whoa, it's been a lot. i hadn't realized how much God's worked to change me into the person i've become and that he's used how he's changed me to care for ppl. hmm... i can't imagine being that girl anymore... and it all started with overcoming my inhibitions. from a mouse of a girl. mr. julian was right after all. :) who would've known.
argh. God, why do u always ask me to do the things that are the hardest? that i don't wanna do. argh. argh. argh. ok, lemme chew on this one first. but i better get cracking... or u'll pass me by. u don't need me to be part of ur plan. but u choose to include me, to use me. and that's the beauty of it. :) a privilege to be asked by u to do something. even when it's something i don't wanna do! waaah!!
blessings... heart to heart conversations with ppl. now that's a blessing. :)
ok, enough blogging for now. i guess it's not so much an update blog anymore. ah well. this one's for u, wongs. ;)
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
hey kids. i'm back!
it's been a busy wk, but it's all over. til the next wk. :) i gotta start planning that exercise program now!
i've been doing some catching up of blogs... and i can't get over the fact that the ones i most enjoy are sharing blogs. there's something about ppl being open and honest about themselves and what they've learned that is incredibly encouraging and uplifting. and draws u to God and to that person. we had another conversation about blogging in the car on the way home last night. ever since the blogging community has grown so much, we're not comfortable being completely open and vulnerable online anymore. but at the same time, we feel like we can't be ourselves cuz we have to censor. but now i'm reminded of another blogging conversation about what a christian blog should contain. and the conclusion was - be honest, be real. so i really admire the ppl who can blog with abandon. :) that doesn't mean u have to share EVERYTHING about urselves. but sometimes it's suprising what comes out when u are just being urself, as if u were sharing with a friend. when u're not self conscious about what other ppl will think of how and what u write, sometimes a heart that is honest and true shines thru, and so does jesus.
one thing that i've always wondered about and not been very comfortable doing, is confronting ppl. confronting them when i see them not quite on the right path anymore. i totally don't wanna be seen as a nagging friend and often i have no idea how to approach them without sounding self-righteous. so by default, i end up praying for them. and praying and praying. but u know what? God's been working thru that!! just yesterday i talked to two friends that i've been worried about... not knowing how to tell them - danger! something's wrong! but from their sharing, i've learned that God's been working in them, and they're on their way back to him.. slowly but surely. what a reminder that God loves my friends even more than i do!! and he won't forsake them. that's not an excuse for me to avoid confronting them about things (working on that), but there's hope. God knows what he's doing... and he's not about to give up on ppl i might've given up on... not just yet. :)
anyhow, that's all the blogging i wanna do right now. a fresh new day ahead!!
"Because of the Lord 's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."
~ Lamentations 3:22, 23
maybe i'll blog more about what i've been up to l8r. :)
Sunday, July 21, 2002
happy birthday, jamesssss!!! (june 20)
happy happy bday, megs! :D (today)
it's been a busy busy wk. i'll blog more when lots to do is over... only a few more days left! >.< i promise, anita! :) have fun in hk!
Monday, July 15, 2002
[sigh] the wkd is over.
i was talking to ange a bit earlier and she thinks i should do an events-based blog like her. that gets kinda boring when it's someone u don't know very well and all they talk about is what they did during the day. but the blogs i read the most often are of ppl who just talk about what they've been up to, so i don't find it boring. not when those ppl are friends i love! :)
my wkd started off great with a quiet fri evening. my sis and i went for a run, then while she went to hosanna, i spent some much needed quality time with God. i played piano and tested out my voice for an hour. i have like no dynamic range at all. this is very sad! that breathing needs a whole lotta work. hmm. thought about the song for a bit, but didn't get anywhere. oh yeah, matt and i have been writing a song. or rather, matt's been writing it and i've been cheering him on!! haha. kinda. i offer ideas. nothing concrete. i did some accounting studying, then went to bed fairly early. friday nights are great. :) oh wait, i didn't go to bed so early... cuz i was blogging. doh.
i slept in sat morn til 10, then got up and did pretty much nothing til it was time to meet melody and susannah at eaton centre. we all had some bday/wedding gift shopping to do, so we "power shopped" for awhile. it's so hard to get anything good these days, i find. argh. i got a couple tank tops and some gifts, but none of the things i really loved. i took another look at that orange and pink dress at laura's and wondered why i liked it in the first place. hahaha. :) mel's gonna keep her eye out for sales on the stuff i want! :) since she works 2 min away from eaton's. after shopping, we took the street car to harbourfront centre for the world fare: food and culture festival going on down there - the real reason we were dt in the first place. it wasn't exactly what i expected, but pretty good nonetheless. there was the food section with a buncha diff types of ethnic food - we stopped by the mexican place and i had a plantain. with sour cream and cheese. a little strange, but not too bad. really filling though. stalls were set up along the side full of jewellry and clothes and ethnic-type stuff, so we browsed a bit. i didn't know that susannah didn't have her ears pierced either! cool. :) hehe. so we both got a pair of earrings. :) the whole time we were there, mel and susannah kept calling us all "a sim's" (think toi san wah, kinda means the same thing as c li's). lol. sooo funny. :) cuz we all had bottles of water so we didn't have to buy anything to drink. and we were complaining how ice cream was so expensive - $2.50 for a really small scoop, when we had just spent $4 on earrings. hahaha. so cheap! save money for the "important" things. just like c li's. [grin] ok, i guess u had to be there to get the funnyness of it. ah well. :D
sunday was service. pastor fred from scac came to preach and talked about "the most excellent way". i.e. 1 cor 13. God's been teaching me lots about love.... interesting how it's all coming together... it's been an interesting summer of learning. i came home and journalled for awhile.... i had big plans to do work and be incredibly productive in the aft... but that didn't happen. [sigh] i can never be hardcore. woe is me. :P i'm gonna suffer for it this wk! >.< we went out for dinner for my dad's bday (which isn't til next wk, but he's leaving for venezuela soon). it was a buc fong place at vic park and mcnicoll that was ok yummy (but not the degree of yummy i was hoping for). nate, dorcas and i wanted to catch the end of the .com vs. the way game at bev glen so we headed on over there after dinner. got to see alan! :) and melodie! nate and my grandma left to go back to 'loo, so the rest of us went to lick's for ice cream paid for with dorcas' first pay cheque! :D yummm. i came home and fooled around for a bit. then i decided to finally get my butt in gear and be productive. started working on accounting and i just finished a little while ago. matt's back from chicago! yay. :) i talked to him earlier. he's goin lotsa places these next 2 months. no fair, i wanna travel! :) hehe.
ok, i just read thru this blog and all i can say is "zzzzz......" oh well. :P
time for bed! crazy wk coming up. >.<
persevere, persevere!!!
Sunday, July 14, 2002
an unexpected lesson in perseverance
i finally convinced my sis to come running with me fri evening. the jogging/walking/biking community at morningside park has really grown ever since the weather got super duper nice... and hot. i see at least 15 ppl on the path every time i go (compared to the two or three in mid-may when i started), and there were even a couple of police officers on bikes one time. how much safer can u get! :) no need to worry. though i still bring my whistle with me. ppl are so much friendlier when they're out getting exercise. :) they actually smile and say "hi"! wow!! unheard of in scarlem. hehe.
so anyhow... perseverance. i really don't like running. i love walking... leisurely :D, don't like running. but.... i like nature. and hiking trails. so morningside park makes the necessary exercise a bit more pleasant. i've read lots of exercise stuff in preparation for programs and they always say the key to keep on exercising is to do something u like. so... why am i running if i don't like it? well... i figure it's the only cardio i can do for free around here. i can't find any aerobics shows on tv to tape and no aerobics classes to take that are convenient... so... i run. and it's hard!! to keep myself going. i wanna stop after 5 min. that's an improvement! it used to be 2 min. hehe. while i'm running, two voices go at it in my head. the "me" voice says "stop! why are u doing this? it's painful! stop! u can't do this! u don't exercise!" meanwhile, the "richard simmons" voice goes "that's great! keep going! u're doing something for urself! doesn't this feel GOOD?? feel that HEART!!" the "me" voice used to win out more often than not. but as i ran more and more (and watched richard simmons a couple more times), the "richard simmons" voice started drowning out the "me" voice. i started running further! and walking less. wahoo! the route seemed to get shorter and shorter each time the longer and more often i ran. i found myself thinking - what an unexpected lesson in perseverance. who would've thought that i'd learn a thing or two about not giving up on this trail? and slowly but surely i see the results - being able to run longer, not getting as tired, sweating more! :P, and feeling good about myself. oh, and no more sore legs!! :D so... the next time i feel like giving up on school work or planning for yet another program, i think i'm gonna listen to that "richard simmons" voice more intently - "that's great! keep on going! u can do it!"
Saturday, July 13, 2002
a great blog i just discovered: olive
hallo.
i realize i haven't blogged in a wk and a half. i thought i should explain myself. thanx to my faithful readers for inquiring. :)
lots of things have been happening lately and i've been thinking about lots of other things too. the things i want to blog about are pretty personal and if i did, my thoughts and life would be pretty much laid out for all to see. i'm not so comfortable with having my entire life be an open book. but then if i limit myself to blogging about light, fluffy topics that's not me. soo... while wondering about that, i haven't been blogging. at least that's what started the silence. but then i started getting busier and it just became a habit not to spend time blogging each night. it started falling lower and lower on the priority list. devos and sleep won out. :) but it's good to know that i've been missed. i'm loved... awww... :D
so back to the blogging issues. other than my bestest buds' blogs that i check every time i'm online... :P, 2 blogs that i really appreciate are hollyholz and carol's blogs. for two very diff reasons. i really like hollyholz's blogs esp of late cuz they've become more personal. she's started sharing about her spiritual life and ppl who are important to her and that let's me get to know her better - her thoughts on the things that really matter. u know? i like that. now for carol, i like her blogs for a diff reason. her blogs are usually fun, cheery anecdotes. they put a smile on my face and i can see her going thru all those little situations in life with her diff expressions. :) i also like how they're usually positive. even if they're not so happy stories that she shares. she usually has happy faces sprinkled throughout. :D i hope that's cuz she IS an optimistic person and not cuz she's so used to them she throws 'em in even when she's feeling down. (AHEM! u know who u are. [wink]) though i wouldn't know cuz i've never met her in real life b4. ;) so anyhow.... since i appreciate these 2 types of blogs, my readers (at least some of 'em) must appreciate when i bounce back and forth btwn these two types of writing. but then again, my diff types don't just stop there. :) i like to incorporate some venting (although admittedly suppressed) as well as the odd "boring" recap of daily events too. well, i guess i haven't really resolved my blogging issues..... ironic how what's causing my anxieties was actually brought on partly by the attention i was seeking when it all began. anyhoo, one can no longer be oblivious of one's readers.... that much is clear yet again. but in spite of the sometimes frighteningly revealing nature of blogs, hopefully an aura of mystery still remains.... :)
til next time! blog on!
ps. hi maria! ;)
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
we had our first women's cell grp meeting tonight and it was reeaallly good!! we had our meeting at starbucks and even in spite of the noise and distractions, had a really good sharing and prayer time. everyone was completely open and honest, and i could sense they really wanted to be there. it was fi, fiona, shannon and me. we've decided to study romans, a chapter a wk and just do an open discussion/commenting thing rather than a directed bible study each time. but we really wanna emphasize sharing, prayer and mutual support too. hopefully everyone else will be able to make it next wk. but u know, i kinda like the small grp. my totally committed cell grp of the past was only 5 ppl. anyhoo, we'll see what happens.
....
goodness gracious, my mom is still treating me like i'm 10 yrs old. at least it's providing brian with much entertainment. he's rolling on the floor laughing. :D my mom was asking me why i couldn't have close girl friends like i do guy friends and i'm like i DO, mom! except they're all far far away, or they're ketchup friends, or they have BOYFRIENDS that occupy all their waking hours. (with the exception of one lovely prayer partner, of course.) so... [sigh] one can never win with my mother and her control freak behaviour (there is more to this story that i am not revealing in my blog cuz u would just die laughing at the absurdity of it all. i want to save u the pain and suffering). unless my dad steps in, of course. he's the only one who can override her insanity. but it's not pretty. sometimes he'll just say it's not worth the trouble. with family like this... who needs tv!!
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
pls pray for the yuen family. amy and connie's dad passed away today. it's so sudden. i cannot imagine what their family must be going thru right now. pls keep them in ur prayers.
....
it's been awhile since i've blogged... i guess i haven't really been in the mood. this past wkd was fun - our old cell grp reunion on fri night with stan, donna and ken. it's been awhile since i've met with those guys. too bad clinton couldn't make it. after dinner at ho su bistro, we walked along queen while waiting for anita and ken to be done their wedding stuff. we walked into lush, steve's and the gap. poor stan was bored out of his mind. :P hollyholz and i went to go watch vball on sat and had some good talks. we got to see gabe and matt play. good stuff. :) had lunch at mihana sushi on danforth, then walked aaaallll the way across danforth from before pape to sherbourne. yikes! :) did some window and card shopping in between. family dinner at night at this place at times square - alice and jason wanted to treat some family who hadn't been able to make it to their wedding in edmonton. too bad vicky, jeremy and enoch weren't there. i think they were all outta town. sunday was church, lunch with the family, then a softball game, sharing with shannon (that girl was cooking up a storm! soooo yummy dishes. one was foo gwa and the other was this yellow chives thing. mmm....!), then over to cat's to chat about women's cell grp and finally a stop at matt's. he was showing me his protools software and everything u can do with it. pretty amazing. didn't do much today - slept in pretty late, talked to wongs and matt on the phone for awhile, bummed around, watched felicity (woohoo!), and now i'm working on my accounting assign.
women's cell grp is having its first meeting tmr. i'm a little surprised that it's come together so quickly.... just last wk i was still fighting with God over this one. but... when he calls, i can't say no. though i'm finding it really hard to let go and let God - transferring it from head to heart. but with lots more prayer... transformations happen. and looking back while talking to cat, i'm starting to see how how this fits into overall God's plan.
here's something about "the discipline of prayer".
real prayer is life creating and life changing. "prayer - secret, fervent, believing prayer - lies at the root of all personal godliness," writes william carey. to pray is to change. prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us. if we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our lives. the closer we come to the heartbeat of God the more we see our need and the more we desire to be conformed to christ.
~richard foster
