Wednesday, May 29, 2002
thoughts
i have an urge to blog. dunno why. buncha things i wanna blurt out.
i went shopping tonight with my sis at scarborough towne. i don't like shopping very much. well, i do and i don't. i'm just not ur usual female shopaholic. i love it when i can find things i need that are cheap and that fit me. a big IF. most of the time if it's not one, it's the other that doesn't work. then i get pulled into the world of clothes and trendiness and materialism. very very hard. i find myself wishing for things i don't need and in my right mind, have no desire for. i've taken a stand to try and live for jesus thru not being sucked into the things of this world and a big one is being a good steward of what he's given me. that includes not spending excessively and on useless things that i don't need. and that includes a whole lotta clothes. but sometimes i can deceive myself. esp when i walk thru a mall. i really don't like malls. more on this l8r. eventually.
that's just half of it. it's incredibly disheartening and really bad for ur self-esteem when ur body shape isn't the same as all those ppl out there that these clothes are made for. tall, leggy and skinny. not that i'm in any way overweight, but hmm... that's all i have to say about that now.
another thing i noticed while shopping tonight was all the really low-cut tops there are out there. yikes. talk about making it hard for girls to do their best to guard their brothers' minds. but u know what? it's totally worth it - living a life that honours christ.
on another note, i appreciate the honesty with which some of our brothers have been sharing about their struggles with lustful images and such. it encourages others and sets an example for all of us to be vulnerable and honest with each other. at the same time, it gives us sisters a better understanding of what u guys are going thru and how we can support and pray for all of u. keep it up.
another thing i've been wondering about lately. how can i have such high standards for my future boy when it's so glaringly obvious that i lack many godly characteristics myself? hmm.
one last thing. i've noticed how much more i've become like my mother since the last time i evaluated. this is REALLY scary. but... what happened to the illusive family where the kids looked up to their parents and WANTED to become more like them? shouldn't this be the case esp in a christian family where the parents are to set an example for their kids? but the more i grow up and get to know what my parents are really like, the more i want to do things differently when i have my own family. shall we use the good old excuse of "well, we're only human"? .... i don't think that cuts it with God.
Monday, May 27, 2002
something cool happened on the subway on my way home tonight. i was reading my bk, grace at the table: ending hunger in God's world, as usual. i had just gotten to chapter 15 "two cheers for capitalism" and was so into it that i jumped when the guy next to me asked what book i was reading. i showed him my bk and explained that it was a bk on the current state of world hunger, its many causes, what God has to say about hunger in the world, and what we can do about it. it was written by two men who had started an organization called "bread for the world", a movt of christian citizens who work to influence their representatives and urge political action in order to overcome hunger in the US and the world. we started talking and it turns out that he used to work for the UN not too long ago, managing a nutrition program in south africa. wow! but he immigrated to canada recently for the safety of his family. lotsa political unrest and drought going on over there now. i told him about my interest in intl health and nutrition and how i hope to do relief work one day overseas. and how i had gone to kenya last summer with intervarsity. when we parted ways at kennedy, he gave me his contact info and said to give him a shout if i ever needed anything. i was like, wow. awesome! i've always wanted to work for the UN. i love UNICEF. it's a great organization.
the last time a stranger started talking to me on the subway, i was reading "my utmost for his highest" and the guy asked if i was a christian. then he started saying how we should encourage each other in this world as brothers and sisters in christ.
i sense God's presence every time these chance encounters with strangers occur. randomly bumping into ppl u know on the street is another blessing i've begun to appreciate more and more.
i return
hi guys, i'm still here. i've been busy and tired all wk. not much time for breaks, so when i do, i sleep. hmm... looking back, i can't believe how busy my wk has been. not huge stress, but always something to DO and somewhere to GO.
tues - crammed to get my accounting assign done, good talks with my mom and nate, met up with amy b4 she left for cali/hk
wed - worked at the chc all day, caught up on phone calls and miscellaneous things to do
thurs - another 11 h work day, exhausted - i slept super early
fri - organization day, cleaned and rearranged my room (but it's already messy again :P), tea with susannah, hosanna fellowship, congee wong with matt
sat - mon sheong workshop and congregate dining, worked at jaka's, praying with shannon (which didn't quite work out), sushi hut with matt, bbt with the guys and super late talk afterwards with matt :)
sun - seeker service at jaffray, lunch out with the jaffray girls, "the importance of being earnest", worked at jaka's til closing, collapsed into bed after checking email and blogs :)
and today? mon - wake up "early" to study accounting and cram for yet another assign, then spend a few hours doing recipe analysis in prep for my contract meeting tonight. funny though, i'm not so stressed anymore. campus challenge was a good break from the usual routine of running around madly. spiritually and physically recharged.
which reminds me that i still have to blog about cc. that will have to wait. my 10 min break is long over and has almost become a 15 min one. :) oh and btw, i'll reply to all the posts on my forum soon. thanx for asking, guys. :)
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
campus challenge was GREAT. :) i'll share more l8r. i'm off to meet up with amy b4 she goes to hk for the summer!
Friday, May 17, 2002
i'm off to campus challenge!
have a great wkd!
pls pray :) thanx.
Thursday, May 16, 2002
happy birthday, kathyk! :)
who's on first?
my life as an alien
hmm... comments?
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
once again, i discover that this world is just too small!
a couple wks ago, i was flipping thru the program for the graduation ceremony at tyndale. my parents had gone that aft to see auntie tammy, a lady from jaffray, graduate. i was looking for ken and erns' dad's names cuz shannon had told me they were graduating this yr. i also found paula's name! a nutrition friend i had forgotten who had gone to tyndale for the yr. anyhoo, i found the name "Donald Chan" and showed it to my mom, saying - i think that's my friend's dad. and she was like - really?? he's an old university friend of me and ur dad!! i was like - noooo way!!!! for real? i gotta go ask erns about this!! i asked... it turns out donald chan really is his dad!! :)
so today i walk into work ready to attend a team meeting at 9:30. i knock on nancy's door and she tells me - oh, i'm not going to the team meeting this morn. so i ended up reading chapter 20 of the manual of clinical dietetics on diabetes mellitus. i think i'm gonna be a diabetes expert by the end of the summer. i swear! not that i have any interest in it at all. oh well. anyhow, there i was, typing away, making notes on the computer and in walks connie, the soon-to-be dietitian i work with on wed afts. she runs a class with a diabetes educator nurse from toronto east general for ppl who have been newly diagnosed with diabetes. (i dunno why i'm giving u guys all these useless details. :) but it just makes the story more complete. :) anyhow, i didn't expect connie to come in til l8r in the aft. but we start talking and she was telling me about her self-directed internship and how she had to call places herself and organize it all on her own. it sounded really cool, all the places she got to work at, but it was a ton of work. all of a sudden a light bulb goes off in my head and i'm like, wait - girl named connie, who had to call all these places herself for her internship - i've heard this b4!! ann told me about her friend who was in dietetics and had to do this.. and i vaguely remember her mentioning a girl named connie b4. so... i asked her - this is really outta the blue, but do u know ann cham? and connie looks at me funny and she's like - umm.. yeah... she's my best friend! how do u know her??? and i'm like - noooo waaaayyyyy!!!! :D so cool, so cool! :D of all the chc's that i could have worked at, of all the dietitians that i could've worked with!! and get this..... she goes to york region cbc!!!! noooo waaay again!!!! :D that's the church that erns' dad is at!!! (right, erns???) i was like - this is too much!!! :) :) :)
yu, is connie one of ann's gazillion bridesmaids? :P i'm just wondering. connie's getting married this august! :)
so this is awesome. :) i've been at this chc for 2 wks and already two of the dietitians that i've met are christians. is that cool or what? :) for a long time now, i've been hoping to meet and get to know christians who are actively living out their faith in their workplace with witnessing and ministry in mind. i don't know any at all. other than ray... whom i've heard about thru matt. it's something i really wanna do and it'd be so cool to have someone to talk to about that and see as an example. i dunno if nancy or connie are like that. but... i know they're christians and that's a start. GIG ATT. :)
truly beautiful
i just finished typing up sermon notes from this past sunday's sermon for nate. for women's grp, i think. arthur spoke cuz pastor ben wasn't around. it was simple, but a good msg. ruth 1:1-22.
arthur described ruth as "truly beautiful" cuz she had these characteristics: faithfulness, loyalty, obedience and commitment. he went on to say that when he talks about girls with his guy friends, they always call girls pretty/gorgeous when they're physically attractive. but a "beautiful" girl is a term reserved for godly women. hmm....
the bible tells us what God's definition of true beauty is in 1 peter 3:3,4
"your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worh in God's sight."
this is one of my favourite verses. i've had it on a slip of paper stuck above my desk for a couple yrs.... to remind myself... every time i feel less than great. what God is looking for, what God really treasures. i could go on about how hard it is to keep this mindset when the world screams at u with its own ideas of beauty that overwhelms u practically every day. not to mention those near and dear to u who have been sucked in to believing in this propaganda. i could talk about what it feels like to see ppl all around u wearing the latest styles and fashions and cool clothes and feeling inferior cuz u don't have the money (or often the desire) to buy all that stuff. but that doesn't stop u from feeling completely out of it. our society puts such an emphasis on appearance and looking "good". but that's often in conflict with our eternal values. (esp when it comes to buying "stuff". another one of my pet peeves.)
so girls, this is my encouragement to u. :) forget the world's ideas of beauty and focus on God's. in our eternal world, that's all that matters - God's view. set jesus apart as ur lord and strive to love God with all ur heart, all ur soul, all ur mind and all ur strength. sure, take care of ur body - exercise, eat healthy (feel free to talk to me about that :). but don't do it for ur friends, don't do it for a boy, don't do it to look like other ppl - do it to feel healthier, do it for urself. and when u're down and out on that spiritual journey and it seems like no one's noticing how hard u're trying to be truly beautiful.... take comfort in proverbs 31:30.
"charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
God notices. :)
Tuesday, May 14, 2002
happy birthday, yeelee!
u know u're gettin old when....
1. u seriously consider going to bed at 10 pm. gosh, it's been a long day. i wanted to sleep as soon as i got home. but.... things to do called. not that i did any of 'em. the curse of the internet. :P well, at least i know who's in my cc small grp now. and asked a few ppl to pray for it. :)
2. ur parents offer u money and u don't wanna take it. i've been dreaming about moving out of my parents' place permanently. it's not gonna happen. :) any time soon, that is. not practical if i hope to be out of the country possibly as early as jan 2004. (though i was talking to ella at dinner tonight and i think i might have to push writing my licensing exam back half a yr so i can have some time to take more courses at ryerson. [sigh] the curse of ut.) for some reason i've been having urges to be financially independent from my parents lately. i'm not getting paid at my placement this summer, so my dad assumed he would be paying for my transportation costs and giving me an allowance. as usual, like they usually do during the yr when i'm at school. but... this time i was pretty reluctant to take it. and i haven't asked about it since he mentioned it. i dunno, i don't wanna hafta depend on them anymore. even though i didn't start working at jaka's for the money (more for the food service experience and ppl interaction), i'm glad i have that job as a backup. i'm quitting at the end of may for the summer, but i'll be back in sept. and i love my job. :) early mornings and all.
Monday, May 13, 2002
happy birthday, jo & em
sorry, guys - i've been a bad blogger. so much to do, so little time. i'm at kelly again. my fave internet hang out. had some time btwn work and my contract meeting so i did eg and wrote some cards. i think i'm starting to slowly get the hang of this God-centred attitude thing. it's becoming more natural. sinking in more. but still a long way to go. i'm gonna attempt to set up a network at my house.... i've got 2 network cards in my comp and a hub. i wanna hook up the home comp and my dad's notebook to the net... anyone got any tips for me? :) terrance says i should use sygate instead of wingate. easier. hmm.... lemme see when i can find the time to look this stuff up.
for justin:
i had "porn on the beach" on sat night. made by my "ex". :P it was... yummy! but i gave most of it to my boy. he was having some fun that night. haha. jk.
sun night we went to 'loo to have dinner with my grams. we went to mae mae jan. and boy oh boy, we didn't expect to see the whole of kwcac there! haha. ok, so not everyone, but lotsa 'em. :) it was cool to see jasmine and joanna and heidi again. didn't really get to talk to them, but there's always icq, i guess. :) we'll come visit sometime.
Friday, May 10, 2002
dinner conversation at my house
[in chinese...]
"mom, i hate my life. i'm so stressed. i wanna kill some ppl."
"but then u'd have to go to jail. that's no good."
"oh yeah, i didn't think of that. can i kill myself then?"
"hmmm.. no, that would be a waste of all that money we've spent educating u."
"oh yeah. darn it."
shaving cream
i woke up this morning hoping that i'd feel better. i didn't.
shaving cream.
i'm tired of being tired. always tired.
but it looks like i'll have to be superwoman.
guard my time even more jealously than i've been doing.
breathe in, breathe out.
[sigh]
psalm 27:13,14
i got another postcard from wongs today. it made my day. yay.
Thursday, May 09, 2002
the nightmare continues
i just talked to kate, the placement coordinator, on the phone. she seems to think that my placement at south riverdale chc is no good cuz i won't be there 9-5, 5 d/wk. nancy, my dietitian supervisor, wants me to come in tues/wed afts and evenings when there are programs, thurs with angie (another contract dietitian who i still haven't been able to get in touch with yet!), and then mon/fri at home doing research on my own on a project she gave me to do. that sounds alright, right? it did to me. i started yesterday aft with a diabetes intro class. it was good, i really enjoyed it. i helped with registration and refreshments and setup and clean up afterwards, and then general observing of the class. connie, the dietitian in charge of the class, said i could take over a part of the presentation l8r on too if/when i was comfortable with it. i got to talk to a lot of ppl who attended the class and learned about their ideas about being diagnosed with diabetes thru the class... and that's what i liked - interaction with them and general learning. i have sooo much to learn, this should be a good summer. immersed in nutrition, i'm inspired to work harder and read more. :)
anyhow, after my interview with nancy on wed aft i thought things were all ready to go. but... kate calls me up this morning and said - nope, this isn't what it's supposed to be. i'm finding u a placement at toronto public health! >.< i don't wanna work at tph!! :( (though i'd probably get paid for it - i'm not getting paid at srchc) it's a totally diff atmosphere, tph is more removed from the general community, i think. u fly in and out, rather than being there all the time. [sigh] plus it'd be a school feeding program there - and i don't wanna do that. not at all. it's no comparison to the breadth of exposure i'd be getting at srchc. well, i told kate what i thought, so we'll see how things go. i'm running out of wks of my summer!! if i start next wk it'll be exactly 16 wks by the end of aug. no vacation travelling for me this yr. :( so much for my dad and his yellowstone park van-driving dreams. hehe.
so today is supposed to be a general organizing day. my mom was being anal last night and didn't let me set up my computer. she was using the home computer to do some work, but i wanted to look up some stuff on the net. my dad promised nate he'd clean up the basement! so i'm gonna make him. :) it's a mess in here right now. can't walk around except for a small path by the wall. heh. that's packrats for ya. i'm doing my best to fight the genetic urge. :) i'm having lunch with terrance and mike today. mike's compensating me for helping him out with his essays. :) hehe. mmm.... korean food! those guys are sooo hilarious! haha. and it's gonna be rainy today. icky. i was supposed to meet up with ann too. she's leaving today for hk... but... she hasn't called me back yet. i wonder what happened to her. anyhoo, i think i'll go have some krispy kreme for breakfast. :)
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
prayer request
please pray for campus challenge. and ut and uw ccf.
fresh air
it's amazing what nature does for one's soul. i open the window to smell the fresh spring air and the world is good again.
friends come in seasons
with the end of the yr here and moving and friends leaving and going home, things have changed. i've been thinking a lot about the whole "friendships come in seasons" thing. and how sad it is. sometimes when things seem too good to be true i find myself waiting for the time when that friendship will change. cuz it inevitably will. for the better or the worse. usually worse. at least from ur current perspective. so i'm waiting... it's just a matter of time...
Monday, May 06, 2002
help!
i've been sucked in.... laziness. inertia.... has gotten the better of me. help! help!
i think i like my mother a lot better when i'm not living with her. she's got control issues. which aren't so much of a problem when they're directed at my sister. but when they're directed at me.... help! my poor sister... the thought of living at home long term is starting to scare me. maybe i need to hideout in the basement and claim it as my own... like leslie. writing engagement cards has a way of being therapeutic... just like cleaning the kitchen at jaka's.
Sunday, May 05, 2002
quick one... for my faithful readers :)
hallo! i've got LOTS to blog about. :) but only a few minutes b4 i gotta leave to go karaoke-ing, so this will be quick! i think i need more "fun" clothes. there's only so much i can do to dress up what i've got to make it semi-fun and not so loe jic! hehe. but when i'm shopping, i'm not thinking of fun usually - more about interviews and work and stuff. bleh. :) i thought i'd have to redo my whole hair b4 going out cuz i had it up in a twist the whole day. not enough time to dry my hair in the morn b4 church and too lazy to put it down when i got home. but i let it all down and voila! the curly, messy look. this could work! :) a bit of gel here, bit of gel there. :) i gotta learn to love my hair instead of using all these hair care products to conform to the norm - straight, sleek hair. which i never achieve anyway. :P terrance is always complaining about asian girls who all look the same - long, straight, dyed hair. :)
it's been a good wkd. i'll blog about it l8r. jaffray's been better than i expected, adjusting back. i think it could be a lotta fun this summer. :) we'll see. and jasmine's been bugging me to come visit 'loo and bring dorcas along, so i might just do that sometime! i'm waiting for ange to finish her exams so we can go out and partay! :D for tues night, we've got planned a steak dinner (i'm finally trying out baton rouge!! 17 oz. steak, baby.... eee... hehe. i think i'll split it with ange), spider-man, then a trip to krispy kreme!! woohoo!! auntie rebecca's back from cali and she was raving about her krispy kreme experience, so i was like - hey ange, wanna go? :) it's great to have a car again... well, kinda. have a car, that is.
anyhoo, time to jet. laytah! :)
Saturday, May 04, 2002
new time-wasters
ok, so i added a list of ppl i stalk on the left there. i might as well be upfront and open about it. :D u should definitely check out kim's cuz she's an awesome writer. :) my fave.
Friday, May 03, 2002
yada yada yada
i'm at kelly, using it for its internet, so i thought i'd treat u all to a good old update. :) though.. not really one. ok, a blog to occupy ur time. :) internet at home konked out on me a little b4 midnight last night and still is not back up yet!! well.. it wasn't working this morn when i checked. bummer!! i miss sympatico. :) no probs whatsoever. so here i am talking to a billion ppl - ange, carrie, yuling, andrew, carol. ok, so not a billion. :D where is my boy??? and reading email and updating myself on everyone's blogs. so nice to see that almost everyone has updated since the last time i checked. now isn't that unusual! :D
ok, i know i'm boring u here!! so we went to pizza hut last night. AGAIN. my sis wanted to go. i swear i will get fat living at home! they drink 1% milk!!!! haha. totally kidding. :D i'm not extreme. u should see some of my nutrition friends. but then again, they'd down a pint of beer no probs. huh. but anyhoo, pizza hut was super empty. a max of 4 tables full in the whole place the entire time we were there. no wonder! their food definitely was not great. not quite as good as the one dt on college.
i miss ange and anita!! it sux not to have someone to say good nite to b4 u go to bed... and to tell ur insignificant little thoughts to! :) and study and go to bubbles with. :) oh.. and i was about to say - to workout with.. but i just remembered i don't think i ever did go work out with u, anerda. :D u're too hardcore for me. :)
oh well. home is fun. :) as fun as fun can be. :D dorcas and i went crazy last night on the way to dinner, and during, and after. my parents were like - what has gotten into u two? but they're pretty used to it. :P matt and ange know i do voices. heehee. but only when i'm stressed. i forgot i do 'em when i'm at home too. hahahaha. :D and accents. now that's the funnest!! my sis has a pretty good british accent. i think i'll stick with my fob one.
commuting's another thing i gotta get used to. i moved home on wed and i've been dt thurs AND fri. AND sat too cuz i work 1-4. and maybe sunday too!!! i might as well just live here!! :P waking up at 7:30 feels good and healthy, but that means less play time at night. :( discpline, discipline! and i gotta figure out which bus to take again. i thought i'd be a good girl and take the bus home yesterday aft instead of getting picked up at kennedy as usual (i know, i'm spoiled. :P). i hadn't taken the bus home from kennedy in at least 4 yrs. (i usually take the lawrence once) but i ended up on guildwood (i thought the bus would keep on going straight on kingston! how was i to know it'd turn at guildwood??), and had to trek the half hour walk up galloway to my house. eeek... i think i'll try another bus today. :) anyhoo, time to ttc it home and see if i can sneak out of the house for a run thru morningside park b4 fellowship tonight. let's hope my internet is working at home so i can blog about some actual things of substance sometime. :) tata!
Thursday, May 02, 2002
home sweet home
... kinda. :) it's a love-hate relationship. hehe. we'll see how long my discipline lasts. home has a way of sucking me in. :P pure relaxation mode. can't afford that.
my placement seems to be slowly figuring itself out. i hope. cross ur fingers. :) or rather, pray! i will. :)
i miss ange. >.<
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
my last post at the liberties. [sigh] i spent the last few hours packing. still a bit more to go... i need some more right-sized boxes.
matt came down in the aft and met me at jaka's again for our usual tues hanging out. matt was doing some judo moves on me at home... scary! :) u know that feeling when someone's got u in a grip and u know there's nothing u can do to get away from him cuz he's so much stronger than u? i think that's the scariest feeling ever. powerlessness. thank goodness i've never been in that situation for real b4. matt and i went to tokyo grill to satisfy my nabeyaki craving and of course we had our usuals. :) tammy and clinton came in while we were there! we don't usually see anyone we know there. except for one time bonnie came in when amy, jessica, sandy and i were having dinner. tokyo grill. [sigh] another place i'll miss this summer. the first time i went was just a yr ago with lill, mel and susannah right after our last exam. i had nabeyaki udon and from then on i was hooked. :D
we watched this special on much more music on jewel after coming home from dinner and dominion's. jewel is so deep, not like some of those other artists u see who seem to have nothing important to say. :P u can tell she's definitely thought thru a lot of issues. it kinda reminds me of a lot of the speakers that have come into some of our classes to speak to us about their jobs and u can tell they've done a lot of reflection on where they are in life, how they got where they are today and being a professional in the field of nutrition. and i think to myself, it'll be really cool when i'm there - when i've had equal experience and i've had a chance to think thru what my experiences have meant to me and what they have taught me and shaped who i have become.
time for bed. good nite, y'all.
